Anyone have an idea what time it is? I don't think any of you carry watches anymore. Luckily all of those hubcaps left behind by Detroiters have been turned into beautiful timepieces. Today we're giving away vintage hubcap clocks, from 8 Mile Creek Designs.

We're on to solo rounds of American Idol Hollywood week and that's legitimately a good thing! People bring intstruments, separating the men from the boys, the girls from the women, the real musicians from the autotuners.

You see this, leeches? If you want a handout, don't go asking freshman Republican Rep. Dan Benishek, who is a medical doctor. His staff didn't spend all its time making this banner and posting it to Facebook for people to not see it. "If you are here to ask for more money, you're in the wrong office!" Can he be much clearer? So don't even try, because it's not going to happen. Dan Benishek is not your ATM, damnit. Says right there on the huge banner in the middle of his office.

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ABOVE: A shot from Michael Scott's movie "Threat Level Midnight." Watch the highlights here. [NBC]

Here's a slight glimpse into the Air Force's cyber warfare efforts: a request for bids from last summer for "Persona Management Software," which would allow one person to command an army of fake online people.

New York Times staffers just received the following exciting memo from editor Bill Keller and editorial page boss Andy Rosenthal. The paper is reinventing the "Week in Review" section! We've read this memo twice, and it sounds to us like the new section will be... exactly like the current one? But maybe with more letters to the editor? See if you can spot what the fuss is about.

Here's a trailer for Something Borrowed, Gawker's one-time favorite movie, a romantic comedy about a girl being forever thwarted by Kate Hudson. We can relate!

Surely this kind of interrogation was to be expected when hosting The View during her ex-husband's hooker shitstorm, but you can't help but feel bad for Denise Richards in the clip above. At least her hair looks amazing!

Congratulations to BonDawg for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame.

Today at Gawker.TV, Justin Bieber gets shot to death on CSI, view Michael Scott's movie, Sofia Vergara's bikini-clad commercial from 1998, and a Michigan woman is furious that her mother wound up on the website "People of Walmart."

Texas—for a brief period the most All-American state except for New Hampshire—has, alas, succumbed to the inexorable demographic tidal wave that continues to swamp this nation in non-whiteness. Says the Washington Post:

For all you literary gamers out there, two tech-savvy literary nerds have created an 8-bit video game version of F. Scott Fitzgerald's great American novel The Great Gatsby get ready to waste your entire afternoon.

Paris Hilton appeared on the Wendy Williams Show to blame the media for everything that has ever happened to her. Discussing butt implants and feuds with Nicole Richie and Kim Karsashian, Paris assures Wendy her life is rather boring.

This is not surprising, and yet: The House has passed an amendment to the continuing budget resolution it's finalizing that would block all federal aid to Planned Parenthood. Even though providing abortions is a small part of what Planned Parenthood does—and is isolated from federal funds within the organization's structure, by law—the amendment passed 240-185. So does this mean abortion is over forever?

Lady Gaga has been traipsing around for the past few days claiming she was in that damn egg thing she arrived to the Grammys in for 72 hours straight before the show. "It was a very creative experience, and it was time for me to prepare and really think about the meaning of ["Born This Way," which she performed on stage] and get prepared for the performance," she told Ryan Seacrest.

The Parks Department decides to go on a "Media Blitz" to spread the word about the Harvest Festival due to a low awareness among Pawnee residents. Things start to go bad when an Alta Vista search reveals Ben's secret past.

Sure, the life of Anna Nicole Smith is tragic, but did you ever think that it was opera worthy? Well, one composer did and, turns out, it's a hit.

Sporting a KU tracksuit and a basketball as a prop, Jason Sudekis had quite the ensemble on for his appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. The guys spoke about—what else—Justin Bieber's recent appearances on SNL and his Bieber-obsessed cousins.

Wisconsin's 14 Democratic Senators are still hiding out-of-state to stop a vote on Gov. Scott Walker's "budget repair bill," the one that goes out of its way to destroy public sector unions.