Voicing a call that sounds suspiciously like "NPR! NPR!" Colbert smokes State Senator Jon Erpenbach out of hiding, and uses green screen magic to force the M.I.A. lawmaker to return to the State Capitol Building for a vote.

The NYPD stopped (and often frisked) 600,000 New Yorkers last year, an all-time high since recordkeeping began in 2002. What percentage of those stops led to an arrest? Seven. Seven percent. The other 93% of the time, the people were not arrested. Because they were not committing any crime. Although they were stopped by the police.

The new iPad 2 is rumored to be a little larger this time around and these two guys got a sneak peek. It's bigger, badder, and it wants to kill you with its red death rays.

You may be familiar with Brooklyn cookbook author Lisa Skye's seminal maize-affection work I Love Corn. That wasn't the only "I [Heart] [Type of Food]" idea that Skye had up her sleeve. She also loves bacon! But when she told her book agent that, Skye says, the agent ran off and stole the idea.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Italy's foreign minister, Franco Frattini told reporters today that, "We have no complete information about the number of people that have died [in Libya]. We believe that the estimates of about 1,000 are credible."

Out of the pure goodness of his heart, King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia today announced that he's giving out $10.7 billion worth of benefits to his subjects, including a streamlined housing loan process and 15 percent pay raise for government employees! The people of Saudi Arabia will be remain very happy and won't be inclined to complain about anything, ever! [BBC; AJE]

Senator Harry Reid shocked some people yesterday during his speech to the Nevada legislature when he told the audience, "The time has come for us to outlaw prostitution." Brothel owners, prostitutes and fans of prostitution were very upset.

A judge ruled yesterday that the NYPD has to hand over incident reports every time a cop shoots at someone to the New York Civil Liberties Union. The NYPD calls it an "invasion of privacy"of the people they shoot at.

Have you seen this video yet, of musician Anna Grace's five-year-old sister explaining her (very smart) feelings about financial independence and marriage? She seems quite sharp! Certainly smarter than the YouTube commenters on the video, many of whom use the phrase "man-hating." (Update! She wants to be a comedian or a writer, but she "needs someone to Tweet" her.)

One of the great failures of modern political journalism is its inability to account for the children of former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin—specially, why they are named things like "Trig" and "Willow"? But where journalism has failed, science may have succeeded:

Italian paleoanthopologist Marco Peresani found a bunch of bird bones in the "Grotto of Smoke," a site known for being "loaded with Neanderthal bones." And he's got a theory: They wore them! As accessories! Fashion!!

The U.S. Marshals service has released two new photos of alleged Gabrielle Giffords gunman Jared Lee Loughner after a federal judge ruled that it was permissible. And, yep, he still looks nuts. Less nuts, maybe, but... definitely still nuts.

Last week, the House of Representatives voted to defund Planned Parenthood, mainly because it provides abortions, even though its federal funding can't go toward abortions. Tonight, Jon Stewart tackled that issue and poked fun at some famous anti-abortion Republicans. [Gawker.TV]

Last week, the House of Representatives voted to defund Planned Parenthood, mainly because it provides abortions, even though its federal funding can't go toward abortions. Tonight, Jon Stewart tackled that issue and poked fun at some famous anti-abortion Republicans.

Finally, we have new data on the number of fat pets in the U.S., and it's not looking good. Over half of all American dogs and cats are at least overweight, and some 20 percent of them are obese.

Yesterday afternoon, FOX 17 reporter Abbey Sloan—who I graduated high school with!—visited an auto repair shop to report on a 50-60 car pileup in Mecosta, Michigan. Instead, she witnessed (and recorded) an angry customer's dangerous destruction. Yikes! [Gawker.TV]

Yesterday afternoon, FOX 17 reporter Abbey Sloan—who I graduated high school with!—visited an auto repair shop to report on a 50-60 car pileup in Mecosta, Michigan. Instead, she witnessed (and recorded) an angry customer's dangerous destruction. Yikes!

You might be feeling cocky after watching this robot play the violin, because it isn't all that good. But the thing is: It's just showing off. Toyota's "Partner" robots are designed to be personal assistants, and the whole "Oh? Is that a violin? Yeah, I used to take lessons, do you mind if I play a tune?" thing is just their way of bragging about how flexible they are. Jerks. (Are you imagining a sci-fi story about robot personal assistants who get laid off? And they're forced to busk in the subway, playing their violins for pennies? And it's a thoughtful, even moving story about technology and economics and self-worth and obsolescence? Nerd.) [Popular Science]

Chicago's grueling race for mayor is over; results have been called, and the winner is... Richard Daley's secret brother Cosmo! Kidding. Kidding! The winner, as has been predicted forever, is foul-mouthed former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel.