Wish you weren't stuck at your desk today? This awesome urban mountain biking video is shot from the cyclist's viewpoint, so you get to experience the thrilling ride as if you were really there!

Neil Strauss, America's favorite awful porn-star ghostwriter and creepy vagina wrangler, has taken up the fight against American's criminals. His book The Game is, according to a press release his publicist sent us yesterday, "required reading for FBI agents," and he was recently asked to train a group of agents on his patented techniques for mesmerizing women/defeating villains.

What's an evil dictator to do when a Hollywood bad boy is sucking up all of the (not so very) "exclusive" tv interviews? You've got to beat Sheen at his own crazy game! C'mon, Gaddafi, be a winner!

Elections really do have consequences, just like people keep saying! Take the suddenly super-Republican empire that is Ohio. What would a hypothetical Democratic leadership be doing in that statehouse right now? Probably hiding under their desks, looking for welfare money. Which is much better than what the current real life Republican leadership is doing today: Giving two ladies ultrasounds during a hearing over an anti-abortion bill.

Well, this was certainly one of the more interesting moments from Saturday's Independent Spirit Awards: while reading off a list of nominees, Paul Rudd grabbed Eva Mendez' boob and when the cameras came back, Rosario Dawson was holding Rudd's junk.

The Real Birdturds of Miami screeched in unison last night as they all attended Lea Black's Black Tie Extravaganza at Black House Manor. But one of the ladies was not welcome and there will be vicious hell to pay.

James Franco's not the only one who can drop in on a soap opera anytime he wants to! Today on One Life to Live, Wendy Williams opened the show with an Access Hollywood-like news show about the town of Llanview.

Shortly after Oprah Winfrey became a national sensation she hired her first cousin Jo Baldwin to be her speechwriter. Later she promoted Baldwin to VP of her company Harpo Inc.

Meet Wall-E, an adorable puppy who somehow after being euthanized and officially declared dead is still alive today.

For the past 20 years, Charlie Sheen has allegedly assaulted, threatened, harassed, abused, and—in one incident—shot women. Is is really possible all these women were just out to get Sheen or his money? Not likely at all. [Jezebel]

When Candace Cameron appeared on Access Hollywood Live to talk about her book, all Billy and Kit wanted to talk about was Full House. Do her kids watch the show? (Yes.) Didn't Uncle Joey introduce her to her husband? (Yes.)

The first problem with Piers Morgan's live interview with Charlie Sheen—a "squeaky bum moment," as Piers put it—was that Charlie didn't even show up until 5 minutes before they went live. From there, it was television gold.

Fox News' Bret Baier told viewers late this morning that the network has suspended its "contributor arrangements" with Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum for 60 days while they decide on their possible presidential bids. It's just "Fox policy," and the "suspensions will be lifted on May 1 if they notify the network by then that they are not planning to run."

From his promises to fix the country as the next President of the United States to his claims that Charlie Sheen's "not doing so badly" this morning—one could assume that The Donald just might be losing his touch.

Northwestern University simply cannot stop being awesome. From getting drunk and hollering about blowjobs to throwing blackface Halloween parties to producing a little rapper by the name of Chet Haze, Northwestern University never does anything less than the most awesome thing to do in any given situation. That's why regular schools have "Human Sexuality" classes, but Northwestern University has HOT LIVE FUCKSAW demonstrations:

Are you sad because you can't see the pomp and fanfare of Apple's newest tablet in person? Don't be—you can watch it live with Gizmodo! Check out our real-time coverage of the Apple iPad2. [Gizmodo]

Can't get enough of the ladies of The Jersey Shore? Playboy has you covered with The Real Girls of The Jersey Shore.

Hot on the paws of Jimmy, the thumbs up cat, Cravendale Milk's latest commercial imagines what it would be like if cats had opposable thumbs. Obviously, the cats with thumbs concept does not bode well for your milk supply.

In a lopsided 8-to-1 decision, the Supreme Court has ruled that the Westboro Baptist Church can't be sued for disrupting a soldier's funeral with vile and stupid protests.

Disgraced former Dior designer John Galliano issued a statement today apologizing for his anti-Semitic tirade but also denying the claims against him, saying he was provoked into making the offensive remarks.