What do you do if you're interviewing Morning Joe correspondent Willie Geist? Well, if you're Martha Stewart, you tell him exactly why Morning Joe sucks.
Say it with me, men: "I am proud of my eyebrows. There are many like them, but these eyebrows are mine. I pledge not to pay money to somebody in what is basically a salon (no matter what ridiculous name they may give it) to fuck with my eyebrows. If they get really out of control, well, that's what clippers are for."
On last night's Daily Show, Kristin Schaal and Larry Wilmore explored the dangerous and oppressive nature of the uterus, the 17th most dangerous place for black people "behind the Magic Johnson Theater after the premiere of a Big Momma movie."
Behold the graceful dance of two young Chinese men who are so desperately tired they attempt to sleep while standing up in a moving subway car. No sleep till Hong Kong!
Everyone's favorite Adonis has left Two and a Half Men, leaving the show in search of the perfect replacement. Jerry O'Connell may be the man for the job. On Lopez Tonight, he addressed the rumors and showed his "audition tape."
Everyone's favorite cooking competition was on fire last night. No, it was actually on fire. As in there were sirens and trucks and firemen. No, they were not hot, but the competition was.
MTV brings us even more news about the Arrested Development movie. Appaarently, he sat down with Mitch Hurwitz just last week to discuss the film. Bateman goes on to call it "everything you would want it to be and more."
In your painful Thursday media column: major layoffs at AOL, reporters in peril in Libya, the latest Katie Couric career rumors, anonymous commenting debated, and Newsday is new, somehow.
Lindsay Lohan arrived in court today 35 minutes late and in a tight tan mini-dress. (Is that leather?) At the hearing, she rejected a plea deal for the felony grand theft of a $2500 necklace. This means Lindsay is headed to trial! A whole trial's worth of LiLo court outfits! Think of the possibilities. (If you're thinking about going into the paparazzi business, now is a good time.) First, however, the court will convene on April 22 for a preliminary hearing where the prosecution will present evidence.
Daniel Baldwin has had his fair share of problems when it comes to drugs and the media. Since this is Baldwin's area of expertise, Piers Morgan asks his friend if he believes Sheen is sober.
If we've learned one thing from this Charlie Sheen madness, it's that crazy provides endless inspiration for mash-ups and memes on the Internet. Here, Charlie Sheen is winning yet again, at Call of Duty: Black Ops.
Imagine waking up in a beautiful seaside location, the crashing waves slowly lulling you out of your slumber, the faraway echoes of exotic birds gently coaxing you out of dreamland, a warm, refreshing breeze serving as nature's alarm clock.
A situation is developing in Liverpool, England that could, if it unravels, have repercussions the world over. Pop gremlin Justin Bieber and his hardened posse are currently stuck in their hotel room because a huge throng of fans has gathered outside, waiting for a peek of their beloved moptop. The police are trying to control the crowd and have threatened Bieber and his crew with arrest if they go anywhere near their balcony, fearing that if the girls below catch a glimpse, a "possible riot situation" could develop.
Noam Galai posted photos of himself screaming to Flickr five years ago. Little did he know that those very photos would be used around the world as symbols of political unrest in over 40 countries, including Iran.
With these kids' impressive display of talent, determination and organization, they are sure to grow up to become guitar gods. Sadly however, if they mess up just once they might face a firing squad.
