Despite a UN resolution and threats by European powers to strike Muammar Qaddafi's forces if they continue to attack Libyan cities, troops loyal to the Libyan dictator today assaulted the eastern city of Benghazi with tanks and aircraft. Update below.

Engineers working on restoring the cooling system to Japan's Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant are making progress, according to Chief Cabinet Secretary Yukio Edano. He told reporters today, "The situation there is stabilizing somewhat."

Marc Maron is not a "technotard." In fact, he owns a Mac computer because he went to the Apple Store (once). He even owns a complicated phone, but that only made him realize he's always surrounded by "potential magicians."

Today we learned the sad news that internet mockery of her video and song "Friday" made teen sensation Rebecca Black cry. But don't worry, Ms. Black wasn't fazed for long. She's already writing a new song and one commenter managed to get their hands on some of the lyrics.

If you live in the Northeast, we say enjoy the nice weather today and then, when it gets a bit chillier on Saturday and Sunday, go see one of these movies opening this weekend. You can pick from Matthew McConaughey in a Lincoln, and alien named Paul in an RV, or a non-alien named Paul Giamatti in some kinda crappy car, probably.

Eric Schmidt has already expressed interest in a book deal and a TV show. But is politics where he's actually headed after his stint at Google is up in April? Rumor has it Obama is "close to naming" Google CEO Eric Schmidt as Secretary of Commerce. This would be an OK idea as long as Schmidt never opens his mouth or offers his weird opinion on anything. Maybe he'll know how to help Obama boost productivity by spying on idle workers in Google Street View.

Toronto tattoo artist Andrew Ottenhof got a tattoo of Charlie Sheen wearing a tiger head. It also has the Twitter bird and a couple of hash tags. One of these days, Andrew is going to wish he could chop this off with a machete. Oh, and next time someone asks if there's anyone stupider and crazier than Charlie Sheen, point them toward Canada.

Meet Somrak Hemrun, the one-handed guitarist from Thailand. After an accident in 2001, he lost use of his left arm, but developed an extraordinary talent as a result.

HIV testing! Fish eyes! Menthol guidelines! Dukan diet! Smoke cancer! Radiation risks! Fat marathon! Fecal stories! And wanton overconsumption of the devil salt! It's your Friday Health Watch, where we watch your health—leaving you no choice in the matter!

Another American Idol results show, another Idol hopeful down. Adios, Karen Rodriguez! Of course, the announcement of Karen's fate took a total of 15 seconds, so what did they do with the other 42 minutes of the broadcast?

ICANN, the international governing body responsible for doling out website domains, has approved the .xxx domain for porn sites. According to PC magazine, the purpose is to "carve out a portion of the Internet that will be set aside for the adult entertainment industry." Already, over 200,000 .xxx sites have been pre-registered. Finally, a place for porn on the Internet! Oh, wait, isn't that already the entire Internet?

President Obama spoke from the White House earlier this afternoon to give some details about that minor U.S.-supported military intervention in Libya authorization the United Nations passed yesterday. He probably didn't want to say anything, but he's jetting to Brazil this weekend and felt he should throw American citizens a bone about the possible third war we're entering.

Pop music thingamajig Lady Gaga is known for her crazy outfits, but it seems like she has a thing or two to learn about her beauty regiment. She goes to sleep in her makeup every night.

Today I read with relish that Grant Show, the former Melrose Place hottie who is having a bit of a career resurgence lately, will have a role on USA's Burn Notice. Thank God Grant is back, because he's only gotten hotter with time. And he's not the only one.

This cat could not be happier trying to fit in a box half his size.

Legions of green decorated the streets of Austin yesterday as day two of the music portion of SXSW coincided with St. Patrick's Day. After various parties, loft retreats and even a vegan BBQ hosted by Moby during the day, Thursday night's big draw was a free outdoor concert by the Strokes. And in keeping in Texan fashion, the event was large in size, taking over an entire field and culminating in a fireworks display during the group's last song. Here are some photos of yesterday's action.

Meet working class hero "Joann From Bensonhurst". Her segments for MyFoxNY's City Rants! series are creating a cult of worshippers who breathlessly await new rant-ings. This videologue is a guide to Joann's New York City.

Christina Applegate heads to NBC, watch for Megan Mullally on Sunday's Bob's Burgers, Dave Grohl hates on Glee and Comedy Central pays tribute to Greg Giraldo tonight at 11:30pm.

If you had any doubt about just how out-of-control Japan's nuclear situation is, take a look at Tokyo Electric Power Company Managing Director Akio Komori, who broke down after a press conference about the stricken Fukushima power plant.

Good news, recession-weary Americans: bonuses for corporate CEOs "bounced back last year at a speedy clip." They rose more than 30% last year! Doesn't that fill you with joy? Doesn't that give you a sense of triumph and patriotism? Doesn't that make you want to run up to the next corporate CEO you see with a baseball bat in your hands and give him that bat, as a reward for his good work?