Harry Wesley Coover, who (indirectly) saved the lamp your grandmother gave you by inventing Super Glue, died on Sunday at age 94. The adhesive came about, as all good inventions do, following a lab accident. [CNN]

Rolling Stone has a special report on the U.S. Army's self-proclaimed "kill team"—whose members are currently on trial for murdering Afghan civilians—and with it, new photos from the cache that was partially leaked to Der Spiegel last week.

Get ready for some truly horrible jokes from our nation's least funny people, political pundits: Former White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs may be joining Facebook in "a senior role in helping to manage the company's communications."

Don't you hate it when you're squirting out some ketchup or mayonnaise or whatever and you misfire, thereby spilling the flavorful gooeyness all over your table? If so, then this little condiment-wiping (scraping?) contraption will help! It'll also amaze you.

New York's Erie County Holding Center will be playing advertisements on a television screen in its holding cells, apparently in an effort to plug the hole created by upcoming budget cuts. Obviously, the HDTV won't be for ads only—it will also "publicize general information about parking, the jail's policies and more," according to Anthony Diina, the advertising whiz who came up with the idea. ("What do people want they are in the Holding Center?" Diina asks, intriguingly, before settling on the rather obvious answer, "They want to get out.") "It strikes me as inserting a commercial aspect into something when I don't feel there is any place for it," says former prosecutor James Auricchio, which is a sweet thing to say, but get real, James, do you even know what "monetizing" is? Talk about "captive eyeballs," I am right? And listen to this:

Happiness peaks in old age, according to Lewis Wolpert, emeritus—i.e., old—professor of biology at University College London, whose new book is about getting old. Wolpert's book gets a writeup in The Daily Telegraph, which cites a psychologist at UCL to write:

It had to happen eventually. Instead of going to the trouble of making an entire phone call, Bart can now embarrass Moe with digital ease through texting.

Love him or hate him, Jim Jefferies always says exactly what's on his mind. Here, he explains why it's acceptable for women to be called sluts, and why this same standard doesn't apply to men.

Five men, including the son of a high-ranking police officer, have been detained in connection with the rape of Eman al-Obeidy, the Libyan woman who publicly accused pro-Qaddafi forces of raping her. The Qaddafi government insists that she's safe. [Sky]

Vietnam vet Louis Garrett of Louisiana, Mo. ("friends know him as Shovelhead because of his love for Harley-Davidson motorcycles with shovelhead engines") has a lot of time on his hands. And in the grand scheme of things, fashioning a quilt out of women's panties is not the worst thing he could be doing with that time. Still, it's pretty strange! Apparently the idea for the panty quilt came from a magazine, which makes us think we've been reading the wrong magazines. Garrett also claims the panty quilt was a natural progression from his mannequin collection, since he had been dressing them up in lingerie. Obviously.

When is it good news to hear that radiation levels are 100,000 times higher than normal? When you at first thought they were 10 million times higher. Officials at Japan's stricken nuclear power plant say readings of staggeringly high radiation levels in water leaking from a reactor were mistaken. From the AP:

Beware Joe Biden! He storms into town, Motorcade of Death demolishing everything in its path. But sometimes the havoc hits even before he arrives. Biden's goons stuffed a reporter in a closet in Florida yesterday to keep him from speaking with guests at a fundraiser he was covering.

Have you heard about this "Color" phone app? It's the hot new location-based photo-sharing social network thing that everyone's talking about but nobody really understands. Well, I've figured it out: It's the best way to stalk strangers who are richer, better-looking, and having more fun than you in real-time.

This game show is ridiculous, to say the least. Some guy is counting, inaccurately, in English and a roomful of contestants have to watch him without laughing. If they do, they get spanked by masked men and are thrown out.

This very creative animated video by Studio Shelter uses Legos to tell its quirky story. Colorful blocks gettin' it on? Anything is possible. When in doubt—throw in a little Star Wars, too.

Sunday is probably a good day to talk about regrets, considering the regrettable things we may have done last night. (Hint: it involved a live octopus and three boxes of graham crackers.) For a new study, a couple of psychologists called up 370 random Americans and asked them to detail their biggest regret. Unsurprisingly, "romance" topped the list.

Street performers are not uncommon in any part of the city but most of us are too busy to stop and appreciate the various jugglers, hula-hoopers, dancing skaters who liven up a routine walk in the park.

The Bronx Zoo was closed today after an adolescent Egyptian cobra went missing from an off-exhibit enclosure. Uh oh. "Deadly cobra" and "missing" are not two things you want to hear in the same news story.

Scott Shields, the mayor of Rutledge Borough in the Philadelphia suburbs, died Friday when he failed to pull the cord on his main or reserve parachute while skydiving in South Jersey. By the time the reserve opened on its own, it was too late. Shields, on the left in the photo, was 45, and by all accounts a good guy.

• Royal wedding news! The official cake for Kate and William's wedding has been revealed, and it is… "a multi-tiered, traditional fruitcake"? As we speak, the cake is "maturing," because you apparently don't bake a fruitcake as much as ferment it. There will be a bunch of "3-D scrollwork, flowers, leaves and other decorative touches," on it, but, ew, England. It's bad enough at Christmas, but the Most Important Wedding of All Time is going to have a fruitcake? Look at the official royal baker, Fiona Cairns, mixing the cake above. GROSS. Oh, but don't worry there's also going to be a "chocolate-cookie cake". A chocolate cookie cake? Is this a spectacular royal wedding or an insurance office goodbye party? The main course at dinner will be canned beans slopped on paper plates with a ladle. [People]