Southwest Airlines seems to have a problem keeping its planes together these days, so Discovery News thought it would be a good idea to ask some expert what would happen if you get sucked out of a plane. It's scary stuff.

As police try to unravel the case of a suspected serial killer in Long Island, they've found their work hampered by the killer's unusual savviness. The killer seems so well-versed in police techniques that some are wondering if he or she is in law enforcement.

A congressional staff member sent us this snapshot from outside Rep. Sam Graves' (R - Mo.) office, taken around 10:15 p.m. as Congress wrapped up the final budget compromise. Note that we are not—absolutely not!—implying that Republican staffers were drunk during the up-to-the-wire negotiations! Just reckless and crazy and dangerously ignorant. Okay, and maybe a little drunk. Here's the full-sized photo; we've got an email with with Rep. Graves' office and will let you know if we hear back. (Hey! At least they're recycling, right?)

Loud person Donald Trump, who is running for president from the Insane Internet Commenter wing of the Republican Party, has decided that not enough people are paying attention to him. So he wrote a letter to The New York Times!

75-year-old Georgian woman Hayastan Shakarian did not cut off all of Armenia's Internet out of some intense luddite impulse. She's never even heard of the Internet!

Director Sidney Lumet, the man behind Dog Day Afternoon and Network, has died of lymphoma at age 86, according to The New York Times. Lumet began his career as an actor, and directed for stage and television before making 12 Angry Men in 1957. Lumet's last movie was Before the Devil Knows You're Dead; above, a scene from his Oscar-winning 1976 film Network.

Saturday gossip round up is here! Charlie Sheen's show takes a dive after some promising developments. Nicole Richie is sick of your pregnancy rumors. Gucci Mane is arrested for throwing a woman out of a car. Let's go.

Two protestors are reportedly dead following an early-morning army raid on a mass demonstration in Cairo's Tahrir Square, where hundreds of thousands had gathered to call for the prosecution of former Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak and the resignation of army chief Mohammed Hussein Tantawi, the current head of state. The army denied using live ammunition, though, according to The Guardian, "images on social media websites appeared to show spent casings of both blank and live shells." Eyewitnesses said protestors were beaten and taken away in vans; the military, unsurprisingly, doesn't remember it like that:

With just an hour to go before a midnight deadline, Democrats and Republicans reached a last-minute budget compromise tonight, averting a government shutdown that would have brought Washington to a standstill and furloughed hundreds of thousands of federal employees. The deal—which involves $39 billion in cuts but does not include a Republican provision to cut funding for Planned Parenthood—isn't final: congressional leaders now have five days to iron out the formal details. Crisis averted—for now! [NYT, CNN]

To celebrate 100 episodes of Watch What Happens Live and the premiere of RHONY, Andy Cohen invited Jill Zarin and Ramona Singer onto his Little Talk Show That Could. While Andy pulled out all the stops for the occasion, the biggest surprise of them all was what Jill was wearing.

Today we learned that Dan Quayle's son is going to save us from the earthquakes. Naturally when one thinks about an earthquake in the US, one thinks of California. But there's somewhere we're forgetting, guys. Come, let's get scared together.

Depending where you are, it's either still cold and dreary early spring, or it's already gotten too hot to do much outside. So why not go see a movie! Lots of things are opening this weekend, ranging from a documentary about a beloved comedian to a Euro-trippy kiddie assassin thriller to a medieval stoner comedy.

When the FCC approved its net neutrality rules earlier this year, it pissed off just about everyone. The House of Representatives were definitely not thrilled: A bill was passed today that would strike down the FCC's net neutrality rules.

Cobalt Coal Corp., a West Virginia mining company, has its own super-cool reality TV show on Spike TV about how dangerous its mines are, just like those Deadliest Catch guys. Unfortunately, the Federal Mine Safety and Health Administration was watching, and fined Cobalt for safety violations that it saw happening, on TV. Now if only they could do a reality show about Goldman Sachs. [AP, photo via Spike]

This government budget crisis has produced at least one very welcome offshoot for Barack Obama: It gives him an excuse to cancel a family vacation to lame Colonial Williamsburg. Maybe that's been the goal all along?

A cop in Mesquite, Texas, decided to pepper spray a baby squirrel at a middle school while horrified children and teachers looked on. He keeps on going even though they plead with him to stop. Now that the cop has been caught on film, let's hope PETA or some other animal rights group comes calling. Just when you thought kids having cell phones in schools was a bad idea! [via NYM]

Well, it's Friday. Which means you've probably heard Rebecca Black's "Friday" drifting from someone's computer speakers or smartphone about 13 times today. People are still listening the hell out of "Friday," which has already been viewed almost 90 million times.

That's Endeavour on the launch pad, waiting for the start of mission STS-134. But, like the United States government and most of its vital science operations, it may shut down tonight. If that happens, that's very bad news. [Gizmodo]

Everyone over at the Talk had the "spontaneous" idea of taking an online quiz to figure out what kind of animal they were. While most of them fancied themselves to be various types of felines (and a rabbit), the results were a lot less glamorous and oddly appropriate.

Here's Maryland Democratic Rep. Donna Edwards quoting the White Stripes song "Effect and Cause" at length on the House floor. The lyrical content urges Republicans to prevent a painful government shutdown for which they would take the blame. We don't know! She's reading way too fast for a Friday afternoon. "La la la la Republicans are mean la la la splat" approximates it close enough.