Arizona's birthers must be so depressed following Gov. Jan Brewer's decision to veto the state's delightful "birther bill," which would have required presidential candidates to present either their long-form birth or penis certificates for inspection. Who knew that Jan Brewer hated fun so much?

Facebook is on a campaign to lure new advertisers, complete with a new promotional website that reveals just how much of our lives the social network puts up for sale.

In your neverending Tuesday media column: Adweek messes up, Reuters beefs up, the Pulitzers toughen up, Tribune Co. is screwed up, and Glenn Greenwald is all hooked up.

Here's a trailer for The Help, the movie adaptation of Kathryn Stockett's bestselling mom-novel about an ambitious, free-spirited young woman in 1960s Jackson, Mississippi struggling to a give voice, in book form, to black domestic workers employed by many of the city's upper-class white families. It's uplifting, slightly cornball fare that could strike a particular chord.

Florence, Italy will play host to our eight favorite guidos from Jersey Shore for the series' fourth season, and now the city's mayor of has issued a litany of rules the show has to follow as it takes the circus abroad. These are going to be impossible to follow.

After 18 years of toiling under the Kumon-math-driving whip of Tiger Mother Amy Chua, Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld has launched a blog. Noooo! Don't waste your perfect brain on blogging! Don't you know bloggers are LOSERS, Sophia?!

President Obama hosted a series of local news interviews yesterday afternoon in the White House. And according to some interpretations, the president "[lost] his cool" with one reporter, Brad Watson of Dallas station WFAA. Obama just went ballistic on this friggin' guy! Maybe?

We are back! Or, they are back. We've been here the whole time, but our entitled friends from the Upper East Side disappeared almost two months ago and left us all alone here, without any Drama or Scheming or any typical Gossip Girl things. But now that's over! Yay!

The statistical wizards at OKCupid have once again analyzed the sexual mores of their users, and reached two vital conclusions: Twitter users masturbate more, and vegetarians are more likely to enjoy giving head.

Parents: have you purchased your baby a top-of-the-line crib and lovingly accentuated it with "Puffy bumpers, pillows and blankets, low-hanging mobiles and a menagerie of stuffed animals?" You have, haven't you? Because you care about little Aedynn, don't you? Yeah, about death.

I'm not going to try to pretend like I'm all above loving a Beyoncé song (even after hearing "Single Ladies" seven quadrillion times, it's still a jam), but her newest single "Girls (Who Run the World)"—which was leaked on the internet like all other hotly anticipated singles—sucks. I mean, it sucks really bad.

What the hell is National A-1 up to? According to an investigation by the AP, the company and its partner, PrimeTel, own at least 1,667,000 of 7.87 million active 1-800 numbers. And many of them are for phone sex lines.

How do we know Silicon Valley is inflating an unsustainable tech investment bubble? Because Hollywood dope Ashton Kutcher and his technologically enhanced mate Demi Moore have somehow become mascots for tech investment. Sell, by God. Sell!

HBO's newest epic, Game of Thrones, lured nearly 5 million viewers into its magical realm on Sunday night. That gave the cable network for people who think they're too smart for regular TV an opportunity to play its favorite game: the instant series renewal.

Nearly half of usual Republican primary voters in Iowa think President Obama was not born in the United States, while barely one-quarter believe he was, according to a PPP poll released on Tuesday.

It's an awful thing to say about human nature, but plainly true: we're fascinated by crime, the more awful the better. And when those awful crimes happen to beautiful people, well, humanity can't get enough.

Good news: Facebook doesn't hate gay people! A blogstorm erupted this week after Facebook removed a picture of two fully-clothed men kissing because it "violated Facebook's Statement of Rights and Responsibilities." It was all a mix-up.

María de la Paz Elizabeth Sofía Adriana de la Huerta—known to mere mortals as actress Paz de la Huerta—has been charged with third-degree assault, attempted assault, harassment, and criminal possession of a weapon for a bar brawl with MTV reality star Samantha Swetra.

It only took the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee four days to put together an ad blaring "REPUBLICANS voted to END Medicare," and we should expect to see a new one every four days or so through the 2012 elections. In this first one, we see an old man on a scooter working a lemonade stand and mowing lawns to pay his private health insurance premiums. Next thing you know, he's a fireman-themed stripper at a bachelorette party, dancing with all the sexy lady folk. How is this last part a bad thing, Democrats?

Network news divisions are still huge, relatively well-financed producers of some of America's best news coverage. They're also very slowly becoming dinosaurs. But hey—at least they're trying!