What the hell is National A-1 up to? According to an investigation by the AP, the company and its partner, PrimeTel, own at least 1,667,000 of 7.87 million active 1-800 numbers. And many of them are for phone sex lines.

Here are just some of the numbers National A-1 owns and has re-directed to phone sex:

  • 1-800-Chicago
  • 1-800-Cadillac
  • 1-800-Minolta
  • 1-800-Cameras
  • 1-800-Worship
  • 1-800-Whirlpool

The company has a super-advanced computer system that is able to detect when numbers become available and snap them up within milliseconds—even if their previous owner had let the number lapse by mistake. This has led to some humorous situations. Take Glenn Noyes' case:

Shortly after the toll-free number for his auto repair business in Edgewater, Md., was mistakenly canceled by his phone company, it began redirecting customers to an erotic chat service called "Intimate Encounters."

"It was pretty embarrassing," Noyes said. "I had people walking around wearing T-shirts with that number."

And it's led to some not-so-humorous situations, like when rape counseling lines in Maine and New Mexico were redirected to phone sex lines.

It's unclear exactly what A-1's business model is, besides the unbelievably dumb one of hoping people who dial 1-800-Worship might, upon reaching a sex line, decide it was the right time for a quickie. A lawyer for the company told the AP of the numbers "they wouldn't have them if they didn't need them." Most likely it is run by a telephonic cult that believes once they turn all 1-800 numbers in the world into sex lines the rapture will commence.