A hearty mazel tov to New York State's gay and lesbian inmates in "official" relationships (or as official as the state currently allows, which isn't much). Conjugal visits with your partners are now allowed! [NYDN]

First the good news: A miracle zero deaths have been reporting following the tornado that tore through Bridgeton, a densely populated suburb of St. Louis, on Friday night, passing directly through the airport. Sadly, though, 750 homes were damaged, with 100 of those destroyed entirely. But still! No casualties, and only "minor injuries" to five people. Locals are praising the local weather service, which blared sirens 34 minutes before the tornado hit, as well as "the grace of God," as the mayor put it.

Back in 1994, while the hosts of The Today Show were still grappling with the concept of the internet, a Knight Ridder think tank put together an amazingly prescient presentation on the tablet-y future of news consumption.

Frank Salvador Solorza, 46, of Redwood City, CA, was convicted this week of conspiracy, impersonating an immigration officer and attempted extortion. What makes the case particularly heinous is that the victims were members of his own family. What makes it particularly hilarious is that he was dressed as a clown and riding a tiny bicycle when he committed the crime.

In February, federal agents raided the home of a man in Buffalo (throwing him down the stairs in the process) and arrested him for possession of child pornography. It took three days for the authorities to realize they had the wrong guy: The suspect's neighbor had accessed his unprotected wireless network and used it to share child porn. Something similar happened to a man in Florida last year, and to another man in Syracuse, N.Y. in 2009 (upstate New York agents may want to rethink their process); the point is, password-protect your wireless network, because your neighbor is probably a pedophile. [AP]

Here's a trailer for Our Idiot Brother, a movie about Paul Rudd having long hair and wearing crocs. And having pretty sisters, played by Emily Mortimer, Zooey Deschanel and Rachel McAdams.

Most reasonable people can agree that the only thing missing from the modern church experience is Death Cab for Cutie lyrics. The arrival, then, of the Trinity Grace Church to New York City's East Village ("a neighborhood perceived by many as libertine," The New York Times hazards) proves welcome: Trinity Grace's pastor and founder, 33-year-old Guy Wasko, quotes from Death Cab as freely as he does from scripture. And that's not all! The Rev. Wasko, we are told by the Times, sports "spiky brown hair" and "eight-gauge steel posts in both ears"; he has a tattoo, and, judging by the accompanying photographs, a soul patch. In other words: This guy is legit. And thanks to him, the East Village is getting a dose of rock 'n roll preaching:

A New Zealand grocery store's computer system opened the doors and turned on the lights from 1:00 a.m. on Good Friday until around 9 a.m., possibly due to a "computer glitch" but more likely just because the computer wanted to mess with us. The early-morning free-for-all ended when police were contacted and told that people were taking "truckloads of groceries"; the owner reports that 12 people used the automated check-out lanes and paid for their items. [3News via Reddit]

More than 10,000 protestors took the streets in several Moroccan cities to protest against high unemployment and demand political reforms, the third such demonstration in the country since February. King Mohammed has already announced certain constitutional reforms that would give the country's government more independence from the monarchy; protestors have also asked for the release of political prisoners and reforms that would further limit the king's influence on the economy.

Michigan State Senator Bruce Caswell wants to make sure that Michigan taxpayers' money is being used effectively. How's he going to do that? By requiring foster children to spend their clothing allowance at second-hand stores.

Nature News and Columbia University have joined forces to make a Google Earth map showing the world populations at risk from nuclear fallout. The interactive map combines data on population and the locations and sizes of reactors, plotting risk graphically in the form of circles. Small, green circles represent relatively low risk, based on population size near the nuclear plants; mid-sized yellow circles represent greater risk, with large red circles representing the greatest risk.

You may have been surprised to see President Obama's smiling face on the cover of Tiger Beat in last week's The New York Times article about the "original teen-girl tabloid." Your surprise was not unwarranted, as the Times admitted today:

Lindsay Lohan is unhappy with her sentence. Liz Taylor's eighth husband speaks out. Charlie Sheen loses a goddess via text message. Ye seek Sunday gossip: it is risen.

Chrissy Lee Polis, the 22-year-old transgender woman who was the subject of a video-recorded beating in a Baltimore-area McDonald's last week, spoke out for the first time in an interview with The Baltimore Sun.

To most of Maoist New York, which finds even the word "America" distasteful, the Avenue of the Americas is just Sixth Avenue. Not so for the patriotic folks at News Corp (parent company of Fox News, The Wall Street Journal, and the New York Post)! No, the News Corp building is located, according to the signage on its door, at 1211 Americas of the Americas, and don't you forget it. [via Annie Karni]

Confronted with a 6'4", 350-pound "agitated mentally disturbed" man wielding a razor and, apparently, a broom, police in Macon, Ga. used a handful of lollipops to subdue the subject, offering them as bargaining chips in exchange for the man relinquishing the razor and allowing himself to be handcuffed. We therefore support arming police officers everywhere with lollipops, attached to their utility belts in small lollipop-bags, for use in violent confrontation. As the saying goes, "you subdue more huge violent men with lollipops than with vinegar, or guns." [Macon Telegraph; image via Shutterstock]

A side effect of this week's location tracking fiasco is that a lot of other different types of data and transmissions to and from your smartphone are being conflated into a huge pile of fevered paranoia. Don't freak out. [Gizmodo]

Following weeks of anti-government protests, Yemeni President Ali Abdullah Saleh has agreed to a deal that would see him resign from his post in exchange for immunity from prosecution. The leaders of the opposition have conditionally signed on, and will present a counteroffer today—though it remains to be seen if the protestors themselves will sign on. Elsewhere in the region, Libyan government forces reportedly retreated from the city of Misurata, which had seen heavy fighting earlier in the week; in Syria, at least 20 mourners were killed by security forces as part of an increasingly brutal crackdown that resulted in some 75 deaths on Friday. [image of Misrata via AP]

Jamie Beck and Kevin Burg's animated photos turn the medium of choice for 4chan trolls into something approaching high art.

After the passage of the Zadroga bill, 9/11 first responders will finally be able to receive their much-deserved compensation and health care coverage. But first, the government has to make sure they're not terrorists.