Donald Trump recently said that he has "a great relationship with the blacks." Yesterday, CNN's Don Lemon asked Trump about his word choice, to which Trump responded in typical racist-white-man-on-the-defensive fashion:

On tonight's episode of Mob Wives, Renee Graziano was woken up early in the morning with the news that more than 100 mob associates—including her ex-husband and the father of her son, AJ—had been arrested in a giant raid. Naturally, she reacted to the news with utter hysterics.

As if you have any lingering doubts, let them now be put to rest — as Fox News can confrim [sic] with 100% certainty that Usama Bin Landen is dead. [Fox News]

Sure, you've lost everything and your entire town has been obliterated by one of the most devastating series of tornadoes in history. Doesn't mean you can't still eat smart, local and organic!

Rapidly unspooling Fox News ejectee Glenn Beck donned his finest pair of tinfoil underwear on Thursday and delivered this sermon against Glee.

Some academics claim that the words "pet" and "owner" are insulting to animals, and might even affect how they're treated. So from now on, please start using the term "companion animal," instead of the p-word, when referring to Binky/Mr. Winkles/whatever the fuck embarrassing name you gave the poor creature. You're not Andy Capp, after all—you're a "human carer."

After last year's deeply embarrassing Shirley Sherrod episode, you'd think people would have learned their lesson about conservative publisher Andrew Breitbart. But no! The University of Missouri has asked a professor to resign thanks to another stupid Breitbart video. Ugh.

Company execs appeared at a press conference to apologize for the April 19 hack attack, which might have compromised the credit card info of 10 million customers. It's a holiday weekend and everything, so they must be pretty serious.

A Pennsylvania woman found a five-pound package of marijuana on her doorstep this week. The same thing happened to a nearby elderly couple. What should you do if you receive a large package of weed? Let us help you.

Many people consider Starbucks to be their favorite hangout because of the soulful music. Others enjoy the cozy, one-of-a-kind atmosphere that each outlet has to offer. Sadly, criminals are maligning the popular caffeinated sanctuary franchise by stealing stuff from unsuspecting imbibers. It's like they don't even understand the whole point of the Starbucks experience!

Tragically lucky British man Lee Knight's first wife tried to kill him by putting antifreeze in his curry. Knight's soon-to-be second wife took care of him after the poisoning. It's karma in action, with a dash of trading up!

As everyone knows, left-handed people are more likely to be witches, and more likely to brag about how Benjamin Franklin was left-handed, or whatever. But a new study indicates that they're also more likely to be affected by fear.

Minnesota's top Tea Party hostess Michele Bachmann skipped Sunday brunch to go on television and discuss how she feels about the Republican party's plan to take away Medicare from America's Olds. Surprisingly, she's not totally down with it, and is using punctuation to let everybody know.

Pyros, prepare to drool all over your Zippos: Someone has built a sculpture that magically bursts into flames —all it takes is a wave of the hand.

NASA's postponed Endeavour's final blast-off to the cosmos once again, citing the same broken auxiliary power unit that delayed the launch the first time. Shucks!

Following the apparent death of Libyan dictator Mommar Qaddafi's son Saif al-Arab in an NATO airstrike on Saturday, Western embassies and diplomatic missions were reportedly attacked in Tripoli by pro-Qaddafi forces.

Prince Harry censors his "risque anecdotes." Emma Roberts is pursued by two men at the same party. Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson are, metaphorically, sittin' in a tree. Gossipmongers of the world, unite: It's May Day gossip.

The White House Correspondents' Dinner is a loathsome affair, a sweaty, boozy monument to venality and the contemptible power-worship of Washington journalists. But it's got LOLs! Oh, the LOLs. And—like last year—Obama provided plenty. Here are some highlights.

A NATO airstrike killed Saif al-Arab Qaddafi, the son of Libyan leader Moammar Qaddafi (pictured), according to a government spokesman. Three of Qaddafi's grandsons were also killed, while Qaddafi himself narrowly escaped. Saif al-Arab was Qaddafi's youngest son.

If you're one of the kids who's spending the weekend trying to decide whether to go to Harvard next year or become a prison guard in one of California's luxurious prisons, you might check out the Wall Street Journal.