Today we heard the news that private schools are getting even more expensive, thus closing their gates to ever more poor, downtrodden upper-middle-classers. But you know what? Who cares! Private school is for jerks. So says one commenter, anyway.

The swashbuckling hacking group Lulz Security says it's teaming up with fellow hacking group Anonymous to wage war on government agencies and anyone who gets in their way. Everyone: Change all your passwords to ninety-character strings of random letters and symbols!

Remember UCLA's racist YouTube ranter, who complained about Asians ruining her life with their annoying "ching chong ling long ting tong" language? She has inspired a new Asian-run campus business:

At an auction of actress Debbie Reynolds' collection of old Hollywood costumes this weekend, someone purchased the famous Marilyn Monroe "subway dress" from the movie The Seven Year Itch for $4.6 million, which was well above the pre-sale estimate of $1-$2 million. In fact, all the clothes sold for prices well above what was predicted.

Meet 21-year-old Alyssa Campanella, your new Miss USA: She's beautiful, talented and, best of all, not willfully ignorant of hundreds of years of scientific knowledge. The winner of this year's Miss USA pageant believes in evolution!

America's second favorite sexy doctor (after George Clooney, of course) has a new success on his hands. Also today: Did Steven Spielberg blackball Megan Fox? Plus some important NerdNewz™.

The new tech millionaires yearn to legitimize their wealth. They swear they're better than those year 2000 dot-com scamsters. They're basically poor people, see, but with humongous bank accounts — and an endless need to brag about their modest lifestyles.

Gravity existence! Personal jetpacks! Squirrel love! Treadmill shrimp! Lion theories! Worm brains! Dwarf stars! Futuristic pots! And x-ray food from the very near future! It's your Monday Science Watch, where we watch science—without any fancy science degrees!

At last night's Much Music Awards, Lady Gaga took her wig fetish to its logical next step with neon turquoise pit and pube wigs. The carpet matches the drapes matches the—hmm—valances? Tapestries? Terry cloth toilet cover?

Lifehacker: The Guide to Working Smarter, Faster, and Better is a compilation of the best 121 hacks, tricks, and downloads from Lifehacker's archives. Here's a preview of what's inside, including links to past posts that informed each chapter. [Lifehacker]

Rep. Anthony Weiner — the one with the penis — finally got around to turning in his resignation letter today, but he'll still be a congressman until midnight.

The big vote on legalizing same-sex marriage in New York could still come in the state senate today — the last scheduled day of the current legislative session — but reports are trickling in that it could be delayed until Wednesday or Thursday, during an extended session.

Nothing will stop rabid fans from tracking down their idol's email address—even the fact that it might be the wrong address. So it is that some guy named "Taylor" gets five emails a day meant for pop star Taylor Swift.

ICANN, the international organization in charge of web domain names, has just decided to allow people to register pretty much anything as a top-level domain. That means instead of boring old .com and .net, we could be visiting "www.cute.dogs" soon.

In Style has an innovative new plan for saving print media: Their annual "101 Reasons to Smile This Summer" features five scratch-and-sniff scents. Editor Ariel Foxman explains the vaguely infantilizing concept:

Here's a trailer for Griff the Invisible, an Australian indie starring True Blood's resident hotbod (quiet, Skars fans) Ryan Kwanten. He's a superhero who does good, but he's made lonely because of his secret identity. But then he finds love!

The stereotype of gay men is that they all live in urban environments and prance around in designer clothing saying "fierce" and giving straight women make-overs. We all know that in reality gay men are much more diverse and mundane. Here is a real picture of what today's gay world is like.

An important part of being a successful American citizen these days is tempering your expectations. Calmness. Deep breaths. Freedom from all forms of desire. So when you hear, for example, that your economically devastated city won't see a return to pre-recession employment levels for another decade, you'll be able to take that news with poise, rather than with a stroke.

A user account carrying a significant amount of Bitcoin on the trading site Mt. Gox was hacked by an unknown party, who then attempted to sell the lot to themselves and exchange the Bitcoin into US dollars. [Gizmodo]

Mark Amodei has won the Republican nomination for the upcoming special election in Nevada's second congressional district. Congrats, Mark! How is he celebrating? By making this dumb ad about the Chinese Communist Army taking over Washington D.C., unless he's elected as America's newest congressional backbencher.