Larry Summers, the loudmouth former Treasury Secretary, knows from blowhards. So when he says Facebook losers Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss were some of the most arrogant "assholes" he met at Harvard, that's really saying something.
The Tennessee-based Tea Party Nation, a group which even some Tea Party warriors consider a bit "scammy," was forced to cancel its National Tea Party Unity Convention in Las Vegas last year over a lack of demand. But it appears that it may not have canceled promptly enough to avoid paying! So the Las Vegas resort that TPN had booked out is suing the group for hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid bills.
I finally pried last week's copy of the National Enquirer from Maureen O'Connor's cold dead hands and found this funny article that says Bravo honcho and America's gayest homosexual Andy Cohen wants to get gay married to Anderson Cooper, America's least eligible gay bachelor. Oh, sweet love!
Campus Crusade for Christ, the worldwide college-based "Christian evangelism and discipleship organization," considered 1,600 possible new names for itself before settling on "Cru." The name change was reportedly "met with enthusiasm and excitement" among staffers. "Go to Willis Avenue and tell Jamaican Jay, I'll gladly pay him Tuesday for a bag of boom today," they exclaimed.
Matt Damon speaks for Brangelina. Brangelina feed their children crickets. Chris Brown parks in a handicap spot. Leo's mother advises against Blake Lively. Timberlake pulls a diva move. Wednesday gossip fights for its rights.
A leopard snuck into a a village in India yesterday and mauled 11 people before being killed. Looking at the terrifying pictures makes us feel pretty stupid for complaining about subway construction.
Birth control isn't free, my friends. I mean condoms cost a few bucks and then some of the fancier technologies that girls get cost—Christ, I don't know, but it has to run into the hundreds. So you can't expect the health insurance industry to bankrupt itself just to subsidize every lout's ability to fuck conveniently! Or can you?
This funny man's ex put his kinky sex tape online and is passing it to her Hollywood friends. These sibling stars are feuding over work. And this actor is showing signs of Alzheimer's. Good thing that sex tape is unforgettable.
Jack O'Dwyer is an old reporter who has been covering the PR industry in his own personal publication for about a million years now. He's generally seen as a cranky but tolerable fixture of the PR journalism scene.
Nobody bats an eye if a bike gets stolen, or even if two or three bikes get stolen off the same rack. But stealing three dozen fucking bikes at once? That's when you have to stand up and admit: "You, sir or sirs or madam or madams, are an ambitious and talented bicycle thief or thieves whose 'can-do' attitude will take you far in the world of thievery."
An apparently long running dispute between China and Nepal over the exact height of Mount Everest should be put to rest, after Nepalese officials said they would measure the mountain using GPS. Today, Nepal and China both recognize a height of 8,848 meters — but in recent border talks China has used the rock height of Mount Everest, while Nepal wants to recognize the snow height, which is about meters higher. Global positioning systems will be set up at three separate locations, but it will be two years before the official height is measured.
If you're like everyone else these days, you occasionally ask yourself, "What's the dumbest way that can I blow some of my disposable income?" Remember when State Senator Steve Smith (the "birther bill" guy) hatched a plan to accept donations to help build a fence along Arizona's border with Mexico? Well, their website went live today!
Man, was that a gas or what? Two-plus hours of doddering and selective senility, with a surprise splosh party and French manicure attack thrown in for good measure! One day, we'll have a better understanding of what the Murdochian Inquisition meant in the grand scheme of things; but for now, let's just take a moment to savor the bounty of fresh memes it's produced. These memes to us be blessed, amen.
No one is safe from phone hacking these days, not even the mouthpiece of one-eyed, bearded bogeyman Mullah Omar. The following message was sent out early today from the phone of a Taliban spokesman, Zabihullah Mujahid:
Fox News's stunningly even-handed coverage of Rupert Murdoch's Barbasol-smeared troubles continues with The O'Reilly Factor. Host Bill O'Reilly prodded Tuesday night's yespert — that would be Nile Gardiner, Ph.D. — to back up his assertion that the widespread attention the case is receiving in the U.S. is fueled by the media's radical left agenda:
In the last 10 days alone, two different men have been arrested for vandalizing the entrance to the Ed Sullivan Theater, where the Late Show with David Letterman is taped. Scary! But at least Letterman is taking it all in stride, as you'll see in this clip from tonight's program, which features Today Show anchor Matt Lauer attempting his own theater break-in with a metal trash can.
