James Murdoch—under whose watch "hackgate" unfolded—is apparently no longer the preferred successor to father Rupert's vast media empire! Today Murdoch said that if he "went under a bus," the mustache of COO Chase Carey would take over. [Reuters]

Now you can own the very pot Alec Baldwin refuses to shit or get off of. The 30 Rock star is unloading his 3,000 square-foot apartment in the El Dorado on Central Park West. Asking price? $9,500,000.

What does the rioting in England have to do America's economic problems? Not much, but that certainly didn't stop Bill O'Reilly from making a connection between the two on the Factor tonight by suggesting both were products of "the liberal mindset." Then some random blonde lady with a bad spray-on tan started shouting and things went even further downhill. A clip of the segment is above.

Tired of clicking endlessly on Twitter to find out who is loving you, who is quoting you, who is stalking you and who is talking about you? Good news: The microblogging service just made narcissism way less time consuming.

Are you sitting down? Good. Because this may come as a shock to you, but you're going to have to grow up sometime: The Princeton Club of New York, a "private social club" catering to Princeton graduates, might be just a little bit racist.

Sarah — a 54-year-old Asian elephant performer in the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus with a known history of poor health — was filmed by animal rights activists collapsing onto her side as she boarded her boxcar after a performance in Anaheim, Ca.

Here's the trailer for A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, which is, yes, the third Harold and Kumar movie to grace our multiplexes. It is, as you may have guessed, a Christmas movie shot in 3D.

Hey, has anyone seen Dutch stamp collector Willem van der Bijl? He went to North Korea in July to buy some of the country's stamps, and his family hasn't heard from him since. Oh! There he is! In the Pyongyang Times, extensively praising North Korean elections in a personal essay!

The brief, delightful August reign of the Doughtery gang has finally come to an end, in exactly the way you'd expect a nationwide manhunt for a bank-robbing stripper and her two brothers to end: A high-speed car chase and a gun battle.

Today we heard the unfortunate news that an Olive Garden eatery in North Carolina might be the site of a hepatitis outbreak. Yikes! Might be time for a little PR maneuvering, starting with a new slogan for commercials.

Scott Wolf's girlfriend is getting into the escort scene. Also today: Game of Thrones casting news, a terrible idea for a remake, and Kevin Bacon has a face for radio and TV.

A Manhattan judge denied an injunction today brought by luxury shoemaker Christian Louboutin who has been trying to prevent Yves Saint Laurent from selling shoes with red soles beginning this fall. Guess those pumps you paid way too much for just depreciated in value.

"To honor the butter cow's 100th birthday," the Iowa State Fair is selling deep fried butter on a stick this year. It is a butter stick on a stick, dipped in batter, deep fried, and drizzled with more butter.

Three million cheers for Sarah Palin! Here we were just a few minutes ago, sorting through the doldrums of August political news and economic chaos, when suddenly the monster from Wasilla announced that the long-promised Part II of her Tour de Grift bus ride will proceed through the Heartland starting later this week.

A 28 year-old in Louisiana was arrested for driving around a Wal-Mart parking lot with his penis exposed and leering at women entering and exiting the store. When stopped by police and asked about his state of undress, Travis Keen "stated he did have his penis out because of past experiences he had at Wal-Mart. Keen stated when he comes to Wal-Mart he gets aroused."

Groupon is getting ready to go public, so naturally the online discounts startup has ratcheted up the rate at which it is bleeding cash, posting a $103 million quarterly loss, triple the loss for the same period last year. If tech bubble investors demand growth at any cost, Groupon will damn sure give it to them.

Meghan McCain would make an excellent 13-year-old. As a columnist, she is a thought-murdering demon of stupefaction. Today, she haz a sad about Barack Obama.

Stephen Colbert's "Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow" Super PAC has released its first television ad in Iowa ahead of this weekend's Ames Straw Poll. Colbert has decided to endorse the non-attending Texas Gov. Rick Perry as a write-in, but spelled "Rick Parry." What else... the ad has some jokes and stuff in it? We don't know, just watch it and think whatever you think.

Goo analysis! Fetal sex! Science mistakes! Alien search! Lamprey death! NASA crafts! Undersea volcanoes! Solar flare! And the brutal ennui of the Mars Rover! It's your Wednesday Science Watch, where we watch science—down to its gooey center!

The internet is quaking with the news that the hacktivist collective Anonymous plans to "destroy" Facebook on November 5th. We spoke to the Anonymous member who was there at the start of "Operation Facebook," and he told us the whole thing is a misunderstanding that's spiraled crazily out of control.