Hit radio funnyman Rush Limbaugh noted on his program today that Kraft is creating a special new two-tiered Oreo made with both chocolate and vanilla frosting. Being the hit radio funnyman that he is, he immediately infused this latest unimpressive snack unveiling with comical racial politics:

Maybe it's because parents aren't getting married these days due to the decay of the moral fiber of our nation and with it any chance we had for keeping ourselves on the side of righteousness and god's glory, but man: parents these days sure are dumb. About everything, sure, but specifically about their stupid kids' stupid schools:

Artist Todd White is famous for designing characters who live in a pineapple under the sea. But did he also design an elaborate kidnap and art theft caper in Huntington Beach? Gallerist Margaret Howell has filed a $7.5 million lawsuit accusing "agents of Mr. White" of imprisoning and assaulting her for several hours, stealing $1 million in artwork, forcing her into "reciting a rehearsed and scripted 'consent' into a voice recorder," and then defaming her to associates.

As long as there have been celebrities, there have been celebrities getting arrested, and as long as there have been celebrities getting arrested, there have been celebrity mugshots. But what can we learn from them?

Rising Cornell sophomore Cristina Lara wants her school to abolish its 50GB/month student bandwidth limit. (To use more, students have to pay.) "Internet usage is free in virtually every college and university in the country," Cristina writes in a petition, "and it's also free among all 7 other institutions in the Ivy League." Sounds reasonable.

Anonymous isn't done with San Francisco's BART yet. After a leak of BART passenger data and a real-life protest in retaliation for BART cutting cell service in their stations to squelch protest, Anonymous has leaked what it claims are the email addresses, passwords, and addresses of 102 BART officers. [Photo via Getty]

Apparently David Cross and Amber Tamblyn are together? And have been, since 2009? And plan to stay that way, for the rest of their lives? Life & Style reports that the 47-year-old Arrested Development actor and 28-year-old Traveling Pants enthusiast have been engaged "for weeks." Congratulations to happy stealth couple! [L&S, images via Getty]

The "Herman Cain Train" has derailed from its tracks, blown up, and brutally killed all the people inside. Meaning: Herman Cain is not likely to win the Republican presidential nomination! But since he's still running anyway, what should he talk about? How about impeaching Barack Obama, the red-meat throwers' ultimate expression of hitting rock bottom.

In your hopeful Wednesday media column: someone gives Capital New York some dough, Chris Rovzar leaves New York, Elisabeth Murdoch has tons of News Corp shareholder cash, Village Voice sex lawsuit dismissed, and the world's highest paid authors.

A federal judge has tossed the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission's class-action lawsuit accusing Bloomberg LLP of systematically discriminating against female employees who became pregnant.

Yesterday—after an anecdotal story about black women receiving hair pat-downs—we asked you, the traveling public, whether you've experienced racial profiling at the hands of the freedom-protecting TSA.

The news today that ab-sessed teen retailer Abercrombie & Fitch offered to pay Jersey Shore instigator Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino to not wear its clothes in public has lit up the internet. Let's see just what is making the store so upset.

A British man was released on bail today after he was busted trying to break into Facebook. According to the authorities, he allegedly "secured access" to Facebook servers repeatedly. So how close did he get to taking control of the social network's 700 million accounts?

Let's just deal with the Rick Perry hair situation right here and now to get it out of the way: It is beautiful and lush, perfectly coiffed, and the source of his 10 straight election wins.

Gov. Goodhair may have a touch of gray these days, but Jack Shafer, for one, would still molest him. And now you can meet his famous hair stylist/barber/whatever, Dixie, in this clip! Her trick: She uses scissors. No, that's just normal. She uses witchcraft, let's say.

In case you weren't sure, old guys proudly purchasing young girlfriends for many thousands of dollars with the help of the internet is a totally mainstream phenomenon, now. A Manhattan "mixer" for SeekingArrangement.com (ticket price: $80 for daddies, $40 for babies) drew 400 people on Monday night, the New York Post reports:

Here's a trailer for The Woman in Black, a new period horror movie starring Daniel Radcliffe in his first major post-Harry Potter role. Don't worry though, this one also involves creepy old buildings and supernatural things and lots of children.

Elevation Partners, which counts U2 frontman Bono and guitarist The Edge as investors, has seen its November 2009 investment in Facebook more than quadruple. And the gains are poised to grow even more.

With statewide unemployment at 8.8% and a withering manufacturing base, the good men and women charged with conducting the People's Business in the Ohio Statehouse are doing what any right-thinking statesman would: Considering the installation of a bar in the state capitol, for drinking.

Gérard Depardieu was on an airplane with 100 other people and had to pee, but the flight attendant said he couldn't go until after takeoff. So the legendary French actor took matters into his own hands: He whipped out his dick and peed in the aisle. No, seriously:

Unpopular 1990s politician Newt Gingrich likes to hit all the big early presidential primary stops: Istanbul, the Greek Islands, California, California again, and Hawaii. Yes, Newt Gingrich appears to be going on a working vacation again, to "fundraise" during the week of his wedding anniversary.