Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva reach a custody settlement, Minka Kelly might be moving on, Jennifer Aniston just moved, Brad Pitt saved a life, and Kim Kardashian has returned from her honeymoon. Saturday Gossip is weathering the storm.
Those of you not spending your weekend cowering in your houses while some mean lady named Irene roars around outside might just want to go see a movie. This weekend there's an idiot brother, creepy house monsters, and a butt-kicking babe.
Cable news should never try to do comedy, even if a state of emergency has been declared. Here's MSNBC contributor Touré comparing Hurricane Irene to a bad date on Dylan Ratigan this afternoon. She's a "total bitch"—get it?
Right now everyone is griping about Hurricane Irene. "It's ruining my weekend!" "I'm being evacuated!" "This is the worst!" Oh, shut up, everyone. This hurricane is going to be great! Here's why.
There are a bunch of easy, stupid, reflexive comments that people often make in an attempt to be funny. Although none of them are funny at all, there's one knee-jerk chuckle-chaser that really pisses me off.
For six days and counting now, hundreds of protesters have gathered outside the White House to demand President Obama intervene and stop the construction of an oil pipeline that will span the breadth of the United States — from Montana to the Gulf of Mexico. Over 300 of them have been arrested — and not just wild-eyed idealistic college students, but high-profile advocates including environmental leader Bill McKibben. Despite all this, the administration says this is a question for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
Everyone is flipping out about this damn hurricane that's going to batter the East Coast either tomorrow or Sunday. Have you evacuated? If so, where are you headed? If not, what are you gonna do? Let us know.
Puerto Rico's Anthony Weiner is much more thrilling than ours: Last week, images from Puerto Rican senator and GOP cheerleader Roberto Arango's alleged profile on gay hook-up app Grindr surfaced. When a Puerto Rican TV show confronted him, Arango neither confirmed nor denied making the profile but offered this excuse:
The clock is ticking as residents along the East Coast prepare to suffer the wrath of Hurricane Irene. Will it actually be as bad as everyone is saying? As you can see from these photos, lots of people are taking the "better safe than sorry" approach. So fire up your "Come on Irene" jokes (if you're the sort of person who would make one of those), board up all the windows, and prepare to loot your nearest grocery store. Irene is upon us!
The golden age of anonymous corporate elevator Twitter accounts is ending. It lasted about a week. After @CondeElevator closed down operations because "This got really crazy. Love my job," a series of knock-off elevator Twitter accounts launched. The only worthwhile one was @GSElevator, tweeting overheard conversations from Goldman Sachs branches the world around. According to Page Six, the company's notorious rigid management has "kicked off an internal probe" on the matter. After reportedly trying—and failing—to get Twitter to freeze the account, Goldman is now "investigating who is behind it. They believe it is an intern or a young gun, but there are enough facts on the feed for bosses to suspect it is someone with access inside the company."
The most wonderful thing about the eight subjects of the most important sociological experiment of our time is that they are extremely bonded to each other but also constantly at odds. Then last night one of our experimental monkeys turned into a rage-filled super gorilla of death.
Anthony Weiner and improbably patient wife Huma Abedin are on an "Italian babymoon," which is when you take time off work to hang out atop an Italian baby's butt. Haha, just kidding, it's when you celebrate the fact that your wife is five months pregnant and still married to you, even though you are a exhibitionist idiot who has showed his penis to half of the planet while she was carrying your first child in her womb. By going to Italy.
