Are you a Filipino woman displaced by separatist fighting, and unable to sell your goods at market thanks to a closed-down road? Why not band together with your fellow woman at the sewing cooperative and withhold sex from your husbands until they stop fighting and re-open the road? It worked for the women of Dado, according to the UN's refugee agency. We'd call it a novel solution, but it's at least a couple millennia old. [UNHCR via Reddit]

Take a good long look at the satellite in the picture above. So that you can recognize it when it comes crashing down to earth next week!

You know how Jay Leno's lips are always firmly planted on his guest's behind, no matter who it is? How publicists enamored with Leno's softball predictability are always eager to book their clients on The Tonight Show? And how Leno rarely, if ever, challenges the answers a guest provides to the questions he asks? Well, that changed on Friday night. How so? Two words: Michele Bachmann.

Angry Birds enthusiasts, gather ‘round. Your dream of entering a larger than life, Angry Birds-themed world is now a reality. A theme park based on the popular cellphone videogame has opened in Changsta, a city in China's Hunan province. Now, I have never played the game in my life, but I know that there are many crazed fans out there for whom this is excellent news. Congrats, you guys, and finally!

Today we heard about yet another joke made about Michele Bachmann because she's a woman. Not because of her belief in an abusive space dad. Not because of her commitment to never looking directly at cameras. Just because she's a woman. Well, it's time the men got some of that too, said a commenter.

Fall is in full-swing, with gritty action movies, kooky sex comedies, and wistful dramas all flooding into the theaters. Let's take a look at those films and everything else that's opening.

You know how no one has a job or money and everything's going to shit and you feel like a rat in a cage and the streets are erupting into a cauldron of rage and torn flesh? It's all in your head. According to the feds, violent crime was down 12% last year.

The unprecedented dumb carnival stunts that were struck as part of the deal to allow the government to issue debt for spending measures it's already passed popped up again earlier this week, as the House passed a meaningless "resolution of disapproval" for the latest $500 billion in borrowing authority. But some Republican members of Congress were so used to voting "no" on anything tangentially related to the debt ceiling that they accidentally voted against the resolution of disapproval, like clowns.

I had a friend who used to call diarrhea "the grunts." But the grunts we have around here are just the opposite. Rather than an unwanted and heavy flow, these grunts have little or nothing to say but just want to be heard. No more!

He's really going for the glory.

The Metropolitan Police knew for years that the Sun had hacked into teen British murder victim Milly Dowler's voicemail, but sat on the information because they were in cahoots with England's tabloids. It wasn't until the Guardian broke the Dowler story that the police finally investigated the hacking in earnest. Now the cops want to know who ratted them out.

Metal hips! NYC smoking! Laughter medicine! Milk drinking! Teen vaccine! Child poison! Arnica healing! China babies! And smooth, smooth magnetic kiddie weirdos! It's your Friday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while we must be trippin!

Michele Bachmann pushed her criticism of Rick Perry's executive order mandating HPV vaccinations of young girls to the furthest frontiers of predictability today, by labeling it "Perrycare." There is just nothing worse in a Republican primary than having the word "care" applied to your last name. That's not a joke! It should be, though. Shouldn't it? Maybe one of these days.

A pair of Coloradans have been charged with abusing a corpse, identity theft, and criminal impersonation for loading their dead friend's body into the backseat of their car, then using his ATM card to finance a night of bar- and strip-club-hopping. The cause of death has not yet been determined.

Now that we've taken the eight guidos from Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time, out of their natural habitat, they deserve a vacation! At the Italian shore a strange love develops, and then there is an accident. Guidos in peril!

Now that Wikileaks has been forced by circumstance to release the full, unredacted archive of its 250,000-plus classified diplomatic cables, we can see what the New York Times voluntarily redacted, at the request of the State Department, from the cables that it published. Among the things it hid: Muammar Qaddafi has a bisexual son, and a Reuters correspondent is a source for State Department intelligence.

In your grudging Friday media column: Jill Abramson is complacent, the WaPo and the Daily Mail bitch at one another, investigative reporters take a hit, job changes at Conde Nast, and Reuters is ambitious.

Outrage at the University of Iowa Twitter Command Center! Because yesterday, after reports of mountain lion or cougar sightings near the Iowa City campus, the school's politics account tweeted, "I didn't know Bachmann was in town. Bah-dum-bum." Golly, what do those two things have to do with each other? According to the AP, "A cougar is a term used to refer to older women who seek out younger men." That simply cannot be true.

For the past seven days Fashion Week took over New York, so there were plenty of stars in town who needed their outfits critiqued. Watch the latest episode of Gawkerazzi where we take Beyoncé, Angelina Jolie, Nicki Minaj, Kelly Osbourne, and others to task for what they wore to sit by the runways.

Emmys! Television's highest honors (after the Peabodys and the TV Guide Awards) will be doled out on Sunday night to an approx. three million lucky TV actors and creators. Who will win? Who should win? Let's take a look!