We've all fretted over the nutrition gap, and the achievement gap between rich and poor children. But there's a hot new gap in town: the app gap. Poor kids don't getting enough educational smartphone apps!

LiLo will disrobe for close to $1 million. Demi visits Ashton at work. Christina Hendricks craves things that are "smooth on the tongue." Gisele Bundchen pulls a Gwyneth. Tuesday gossip shakes its moneymaker.

This Hollywood figure is begging all her friends to set her up with men. This reality star has a dark secret. And Giada De Laurentiis' blind item reputation finally catches up with her. Good thing she's already married.

Lisa Belkin used to write a parenting blog called Motherlode for the New York Times. Earlier this month, she was hired by the Huffington Post. Now, she finally gets to spread her wings and allow her creativity to flourish.

I'm no law enforcement expert, but the vast variety of sources where I get my news routinely suggests that an essential part of a police officer's job is to arrest people who haven't committed any crime whatsoever. So why did police reject Orlando Robinson II's request to be arrested for doing nothing wrong?

What if I told you that having a medical marijuana dispensary near you could actually reduce crime in your neighborhood? You'd probably be like "duuuude," or some other stereotypically "stoner" thing, because your "glaucoma treatment" has been particularly good lately. Well, snap out of it, man: I'm here to tell you that a medical marijuana dispensary does not reduce crime in your neighborhood after all!

Canadian political leaders are feeling rather cranky about the U.S. government's plan to charge their citizens $5.50 just to cross the border and drink beer with us. The new fee also applies to Mexican travelers, but they don't seem to be complaining as much—maybe because they're used to getting screwed by the American government.

Today the last of the B53 nuclear bombs—a 10,000-pound "monster weapon" way, way more powerful than the bomb dropped on Hiroshima, if you can imagine—will be dismantled in Texas (i.e. executed on bomb death row), joining its 340 or so brothers and sisters in Cold War-era weapon heaven. Though inaccurate and "dumb" by some accounts, the B53 was special in its own way. "We have nothing that comes close to it in the stockpile anymore, and neither does Russia," Hans Kristensen of the Federation of the American Scientists told Wired. "It's the end of an era."

Meet Alexandrea Brooks, a Cobb County, Georgia woman who police claim "infiltrated" a Walgreens (are the Walgreens in Georgia on lockdown? are they exclusive/members-only?) and stole 26 boxes of condoms, an ovulation test, and a few other items, totaling $562.68. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution thoughtfully provides the full list of Brooks' product selections. She sure is a brand loyalist:

In this helmet-cam vid, a Good Samaritan interrupts his motorbike ride around Gautang, South Africa to save a thoughtless calf who had ingested too many shots of Fernet (or whatever cows drink) during the previous night's "Calves' Night Out" festivities and drunkenly wandered into a canal. The biker's rescue mission requires him to head into the bilge water to save the lanky baby—who starts heading in the opposite direction, mostly because he's embarrassed and doesn't want to be filmed—and use some sort of rope to drag it out of the water. When the calf gets fidgety you'll go, "ugh dumb little asshole cow, stop squirming and cooperate," but then you'll see the pathetic look on its face as it's pulled to dry land and go "aw, I can't curse a calf. It's still learning."

On Sunday, child bride Courtney Stodden seductively sauntered to a scintillating Santa Clarita pumpkin patch with her hoary husband, Doug Hutchison. But before the couple could consummate the trip, they were pulled aside and precluded from purchasing any pumpkins due to the prurient nature of Courtney's clothing. On tonight's AC360, Anderson Cooper defended Courtney and her right to flaunt her "crack-o-lantern" when he put her jealous haters on his "Ridiculist."

Congratulations, tourists. Your pathetic need to reignite the long-dead flames of your loveless marriages by forcing a sickly, mistreated horse to haul your fat asses around Central Park has resulted in murder.

When she's not contributing to childhood obesity on the Food Network, Paula Deen can be found frequenting the late-night talk show circuit. This evening, Deen paid a visit to the set of the Tonight Show to teach Jay Leno how to make some sort of zombie hamburger-meatloaf hybrid. But mostly she just chuckled, as you'll see in this video.

So Duck Sauce, the house-music superduo that brought us "Barbra Streisand," has a brand new single out, as relentlessly catchy as the last. It's called, "Big Bad Wolf," and it goes, "The Big Bad Wolf. The Big Bad Wolf. The Big Bad Wolf. The Big Bad Wolf. A-WOOOOOOOO. (Repeat 6x)." And here's the video! It's...well — perhaps the less said about it the better. But let's put it this way: 100-Pound Scrotum Guy? You no longer have to feel like you have the freakiest nuts on the internet. (Kind of NSFW, but not technically.) [via RollingStone.com]

While drum circles imperil the future of Occupy Wall Street, the protesters of Occupy Maine (yes, that's a thing, and please, people, no "The 99% cahn't get theyah from heeah" jokes) have been contending with a far more serious threat: Someone tossed a homemade chemical bomb at the Portland encampment.

Salma Hayek has kept a relatively low profile since having a child with (and eventually marrying) French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault, so she had lots to discuss with David Letterman when she stopped by tonight's Late Show to promote her new film. Here are highlights of their lively chat, including her struggle to quit smoking, her four-year-old daughter's adult-like attitude, and Letterman's obsession with Hayek's earrings.

The President stunned the nation on Monday when, after arriving in Los Angeles at 4:30 p.m., he directed his motorcade to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles — a West Coast favorite that melds the two greatest foodstuffs known to mankind into one, crispy-skinned, syrup-smothered, hybrid foodstuff that defies all logic and mealtime expectation. He ordered the No. 9, the "Country Boy," which includes three chicken wings and a waffle, and enjoyed his takeout — brupper? suckfast? — in the limo with his aides. Deeelicious. The First Lady, meanwhile, quietly wept into her arugula patch. [LAT, Photo via AP]

"Because it was there." No four words have done more to inspire the incredibly stupid to achieve ever-dumber heights. For one such man, a 21-year-old from Vallejo, California, "it" in this case referred to the infant bucket swing that hung tauntingly in Blue Rock Springs Park.

Jon Huntsman, aka the Mormon ex-governor running for the Republican nomination for president not named Mitt Romney, sat down with Stephen Colbert on tonight's Report, no doubt hoping to bump up his anemic poll numbers. And while Huntsman's defense of Mormonism (people will come around, just like they did in the '60s with JFK and Catholicism), concern about economic inequality in America, and demonstration of his fluency in Mandarin made for good television, it probably won't do him much good in shoring up support with the GOP's conservative base.

Anyone who's been to Zuccotti Park in downtown Manhattan to check out the Occupy Wall Street encampment leaves thinking one thing: Jesus Christ those drummers are annoying. And now, those drummers—whose constant, irritating presence has earned the wrath of the local community board, as well as most of the occupiers—may bring down the movement itself.