Accused Shoplifter Expected to Have a Lot of Safe Sex
Meet Alexandrea Brooks, a Cobb County, Georgia woman who police claim "infiltrated" a Walgreens (are the Walgreens in Georgia on lockdown? are they exclusive/members-only?) and stole 26 boxes of condoms, an ovulation test, and a few other items, totaling $562.68. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution thoughtfully provides the full list of Brooks' product selections. She sure is a brand loyalist:
* 5 boxes of Trojan Magnum gold collection condoms
* 1 box of Trojan Ultra Ribbed Condoms
* 5 boxes of Trojan Magnum Ecstasy Condoms
* 6 boxes of Trojan Magnum fire/ice Condoms
* 6 boxes of Trojan Magnum Thin Condoms
* 2 boxes of Trojan Magnum Lube
* 1 box of Trojan Ultra Thin/ Sens Condoms
* Walgreens Organic Cotton Balls
* Huggies Natural Care wipes
* 1 First Response Digital Ovulation Test Kit
But only when it comes to products, not drug store chains:
In September, in what may be a desperate attempt to turn back the hands of time, she visited a Mableton CVS and took nine Oil of Olay products.
It's good to shop around at different stores to take advantage of the sales—even if you don't plan on spending money, because a couple of pennies "saved" can mean the difference between a misdemeanor and a felony charge. At least that's what my mom taught me growing up.
We should give Brooks credit for trying to practice safe sex while protecting her skin from premature aging and dryness. Or are we jumping to conclusions about her intentions for the goods? Maybe she planned on opening up some sort of STD prevention clinic/low-budget spa in her house, or wanted to hand out condoms and lotion at her Halloween party. Or she's an artist who wanted to create an installation out of the condoms. Or she was building a floatation device. Or she enjoys making condom balloon dogs and selling them for 50 cents downtown. There's all sorts of things one could do with 26 boxes of condoms. Hours and hours of fun.
