MSNBC has brought on noted idiot Meghan McCain as a political analyst, boosting their legacy stable of dolts spawned by famous political figures by a factor of two.

If Air Force researchers have their way, the military's next flying robots of doom will be tiny, and indistinguishable from the naked eye from small birds, bats or even insects. And they'll take their first flight in a freaky "Micro-Aviary" in Ohio, where engineers make mini-machines modeled on those creatures of the sky.

Prosecutors in Santa Monica, CA have filed 19 criminal charges against the gold sellers Goldline International for allegedly running a "bait and switch operation" using prominent spokespeople like Fox News' Glenn Beck.

Remember credit default swaps? AIG? Hopelessly entangled exotic financial instruments tied to esoteric asset valuations that caused cascading defaults in 2008 and threatened to tank the global financial system unless taxpayers ate all the losses? Remember how we reformed Wall St. to make sure that never repeated itself? Someone tell Goldman Sachs, JPMorgan, and Morgan Stanley, because they've teed the whole damn thing up again, this time in Europe.

What is it with kids these days? Amirite? You know what I'm talking about. In this particular case, I'm talking about how kids in elementary and middle school have, sure, okay, improved their standardized test scores in math over the past two decades—but in reading, there's been only "modest improvement." Kids these days! From the NYT:

So many people think that the more Facebook friends they have, the better. Wrong! In an excerpt from his just released book You Are Not So Smart David McRaney explains "Dunbar's Number" and why trying to keep in touch with more than 150 people, even on Facebook, is a biological impossibility.

News that Justin Bieber was hit with a paternity suit by 20-year-old Mariah Yeater has shaken the Biebersphere to its very core. Could you believe that some Beliebers are not happy with the young woman who claims to have deflowered 17-year-old Bieber?

Fox & Friends co-host and celebrated public intellectual Brian Kilmeade could barely catch his breath today, as he shared the hot new rumor about Justin Bieber impregnating a lady.

In your wispy Wednesday media column: Jared Kushner's latest scheme, Michele Norris's replacement, the gradual death of print continues, Harper's Bazaar revamps, and Chris Matthews make a funny.

Sexy crypt keeper Lindsay Lohan is heading back to jail, Judge Stephanie Sautner announced today after finding the troubled starlet in violation of her probation yet again.

It didn't take long for many writers who veer towards the "right wing" of the political spectrum to formulate their consensus response to Herman Cain's still-vague history of alleged sexual harassment, and sexual harassment claims in general: Lighten up, sweetheart! But few have had the guts to put it in such brazen terms as crabby old paleocon John Derbyshire, of the National Review. Let us celebrate "Derb" on his momentous day of social commentary.

Judge William Adams—who became Internet Enemy No. 1 last night following the publication of a video showing him beating his disabled daughter—has spoken. He wants everyone to know that he apologized. And that the beating was "not as bad as it looks on tape."

Last night Oxygen's not-half-bad reality show The Glee Project finally invaded its big sister in a huge way: it introduced its first regular character. Meet Rory Flanagan, who Brittany thinks is a leprechaun.

Cover Miss Beasley's ears, because this might disturb her: pets simply are not affordable any longer. Dogs, cats—run free! And good luck out there.

Here's a new 90-seconder from the Democratic Super PAC Priorities USA highlighting all of the things that could go wrong if the country elects Satan as the next president. Or is that Mitt Romney? It's hard to tell, with all of the terror screams and thunder and all around evil atmosphere going on here.

After much berating, the Kardashian klan kracks and starts telling lies. Lindsay Lohan returns to court. Hugh Grant has a baby after a "fleeting affair" with a mystery woman. Denise Richards and Richie Sambora reunite. Wednesday gossip plays with semantics.

This heartless recession has stolen from America our most treasured national totems. Huge SUVs? Too gas-guzzling. Sprawling suburbs far removed from the "diverse" cities? Reduced to slums. And now, the recession is coming for our very homes.

Some of the internet's sleaziest users must be freaking out today, having been outed by Anonymous as visitors to child porn forums. Vigilante Anonymous hackers are taking their war on underground kiddie porn to a new level by posting the IP addresses of people they claim are pedophiles.

The Paris editorial offices of Charlie Hebdo, a French weekly satirical magazine along the lines of the Onion, were firebombed this morning after publication of an issue "guest edited" by the prophet Muhammed. Someone must not have gotten the joke.

This A-lister has a rare disease that's affecting his work. This singer mouthed off about her rival, and these network co-stars are having an affair. Now that is certainly not a rare condition.