Hey, can you spare a hundred bucks for my animé about the forces of Satan? Oh wait, no, actually how about $75 for my low-noise waterproof USB vibrator? Or maybe like $10 for my buddy's interactive ebook and film on psychedelic medicine? How about a $1 pocket grill investment? These annoying pitches all represent actual things—actual projects on Kickstarter, favored venue of filthy broke ass hippies the world over. There is just way, way too much of this shit.

64-year-old Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones has a new girlfriend, 25-year-old Nicola Sargent of Belfast, Northern Ireland. Their relationship arrives shortly after Wood's breakup with decrepit Brazilian model Ana Araújo, 30 (gross!). In 2008, the musician left his wife of 23 years for waitress Ekaterina Ivanova, who was 18 at the time.

Larry Page is a busy man. The Google CEO wants his company moving quickly and decisively. That, in turn, means eliminating the plodding exchanges fostered by Gmail.com. Who invented that thing, anyway?

The Occupy people took to the high seas for some mischief today. 'Twas aboard the USS Yorktown where they found Michele Bachmann, who was delivering a big foreign policy speech to god knows who.

In your ungrateful Thursday media column: we must all come together to defend Jim Romenesko, farewells at the NYDN, an election news vet dies, and Nickelodeon suffers.

Of all the awful things you can say about sleezy fashion photographer Terry Richardson, this has to be one of the worst. Here he is fulfilling his ultimate fantasy: making out with a woman who is dressed as Terry Richardson. This is like the narcissistic snake tossing his salad before eating his own tail.

Last night on Jeopardy!'s Tournament of Champions, a giddy Alex Trebek dressed up in Metropolitan Opera costumes for a trippy category on "Operatic Costumes." Now that we have seen America's most robotic game show host vamping in a Le Comte Ory nun costume, are we ready for the gender-bending Rapture? [Jeopardy, Esquire, @ZWoolfe]

We truly are living in a new era of sexual equality. Guanabee points us to this VLADTV interview with Fat Joe, who at least began his career as a no-joke hardcore New York gangster rapper. In response to a question about whether he think he's ever done a song with a gay rapper, he responds "Yes," and shrugs off the whole thing: "Niggas is gay. There's millions of gay people in the world. Girls too... I'm a fan of 'Yo, I'm gay. The fuck.' Like, 2011 you gotta hide that you're gay? Like, you know what I'm saying, like, be real, like 'Yo I'm gay, what the fuck.' If you gay you gay. Like that's your preference, you know? Fuck it if the people don't like it."

Here's a creepy sex video from Vladimir Putin's United Russia party, disguised as a get-out-the-vote ad. It shows two people sexing in a polling booth with the tagline, "Let's do it together." Well, this works, but perhaps the corollary would've been stronger: Don't vote, and get shot in the head by secret police.

What the hell is Journey 2? Is it when the Glee kids sing "Don't Stop Believing?" What even was Journey 1. Oh, it was Journey to the Center of the Earth! But Brendan Frasier is gone, and so is the earth.

Happy college graduation, and welcome back home! It happens. These days, more than ever: "5.9 million Americans between 25 and 34 years of age-nearly a quarter of whom have bachelor's degrees-live with their parents, a significant increase from 4.7 million before the recession," according to the WSJ.

Herman Cain's latest defense against the sexual harassment charges dogging his campaign: you should really pay attention to the many, many people in the world who have not accused me of inappropriate behavior, not the five or so women who have.

Olivia Munn's "friends" are talking to the media about how upset she is about Brett Ratner talking on TV about how he "banged her but forgot." Apparently she wants "nothing to do with him." You mean that didn't happen while he was jerking off and eating shrimp in front of her?

Are Republicans scared of Massachusetts Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren, the Matriarch of Mayhem? No, not at all! That can't possibly be why Karl Rove is already spending his SuperPAC dollars to destroy her in the state's first major ad buy, before the Democratic primary's even been held.

The Richard Nixon Presidential Library and Museum has released Nixon's 1975 testimony to a grand jury investigating the criminal conspiracy that was his presidency.

Day two of bad news for the Air Force's vaunted mortuary affairs operation at Dover, Delaware, where our nation's war dead are lovingly and respectfully welcomed home. Yesterday we learned that the Air Force is known to lose a body part or two on occasion. Today we come to find that for most of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars it disposed of loose unidentified body parts by burning them and throwing them in a landfill.

The gut-wrenching Penn State child sex abuse scandal has one, minuscule silver lining. It got stupid Ashton Kutcher to shut up on Twitter for a while.

Dreamy closet case and CNN's chief hurricane correspondent Anderson Cooper's life isn't going to get any less busy, because his daytime talk show Anderson just got renewed for a second season. That means we'll get even more reasons to get shirtless, gun shows, scary bugs, and all sorts of other wooden interactions with the audience.

President Obama's "body man," basketball buddy, and gatekeeper, Reggie Love, will leave the White House by year's end. Love has been working for Obama since his time in the Senate. Who will be Obama's next special friend? Maybe you!

Updated. Three hundred protesters marched through Cambridge, Massachusetts last night. Their goal: Occupying Harvard Yard. Arriving at the edge of campus, the protesters found the University's gates locked and guarded by a phalanx of campus police. Boston's CBS affiliate reports: