The practice of public relations can turn a holy man into a god damn dolt. We shine light into flackery's darkest corners every week in our PR Dummies column. This week: fighting Lord Ganesha's battles, poorly.

Isakin Jonsson and Michelle Gustafsson announced they will marry in a small ceremony in the high security wing of the Karsuddens psychiatric facility in Sweden. An as-yet-undetermined member of the Church of Satan is expected to officiate.

There comes a time in the life of every newscaster when he or she must form an opinion on throaty-voiced source of national cathexis Lana del Rey. Katie Couric is still working on hers.

Has Facebook's $5 billion IPO gone to Mark Zuckerberg's head? In new propaganda, the Facebook CEO claims Facebook will spur a populist transformation in governments around the world—an idea he called "arrogant" less than a year ago.

Sure, it's nice to get out of the house once in a while, but that new bodega/speakeasy/ Off-Track Betting parlor that everyone has been raving about is two train transfers and a walk down Sketchy Lane away. Besides, isn't the whole point of being popular that you can make other people come to you?

We all knew that Courtney Love wasn't going to win the mother of the year award anytime soon, but things between her and her daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, are really quite insane. Frances thinks Courtney killed her dog and her cat!

Mitt Romney, No Marriage For Any Gays Ever, was hit twice with a pro-gay-rights glitter attack in Eagan, Minnesota. Naturally, he promptly used the incident to say something lighthearted and uncomfortable.

Azealia Banks is the smiley young crush object of certain internet types due in no small part to lyrics like, "Kick it with ya bitch that come from Parisian/ She know where I get mine from, end of season/ Now she wanna lick my plum in the evening/ And fit that tongue-tongue d-deep in/ I guess that cunt gettin eaten." She's also harboring a deep, dark secret, revealed for the first time officially in John Ortved's New York Times profile of her today:

This actress got a rather stupid tattoo on the inside of her thigh. This actor brought a bunch of ladies over his virgin co-star's house so he could get laid. This actress does some rather creative things to her pubic hair. Why can't these ladies leave their crotches alone?

A reader snapped the attached pictures of a man she says exposed himself to her this morning at the Whitehall Street subway station. Unahppy with his behavior, she decided to expose him even further.

FBI agents swarmed a Fitchburg, Massachusetts woman's apartment, chainsawed a hole in her door — apparently that's how cops bust their way into homes now? — and held her and her daughter on the ground at gunpoint for 35 minutes. While the federal agents were going apeshit on apartment 2R, the actual guy they were after was sauntering out of apartment 2F.

We all know that frenetic tabloid sex oracle Andrea Peyser is strongly opposed to hussies, as well as sluts. But how does she feel about loose lying whores who cry rape as a way to cover up for their own loose, whorish behavior, and maybe they should have just never opened their legs for every man who says hello? Today, she clarifies her stance on this important matter.

The New York City Health Department recently inspected 30 Rock's Starbucks and discovered it to be teeming with "live mice." Consequently, the Starbucks serving the stars of NBC received a 'C.' Which other Manhattan Starbucks stores are among the impressively filthy elite?

The Washington state Senate voted 28 in favor (including four Republicans) to 21 against late Wednesday evening to pass a bill legalizing gay marriage. The bill now goes to the House, where it's expected to pass, and Governor Chris Gregoire has already said she will sign it. So basically, the hard part is over and gay and lesbian couples will be able to get married by June unless crabby homophobes can muster around 120,000 signatures before that time to force a referendum.

The fight between Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich has gone totally negative and Stephen Colbert took a look at some of the nastier barbs that they have traded on tonight's Colbert Report. But beyond just dissecting their insults, Colbert has a plan to keep each of them on their toes: he's a launching a twitter campaign to keep them prepared. So come on, nation, let's all do our part.

If then-President of Facebook Sean Parker had come to you in 2005, asked you to paint his new offices with a bunch of cocks, and then offered to pay you in either a few thousand dollars in cold hard cash or just the equivalent in company stock, you would probably have gone for the cash, right? Particularly if the company seemed on the whole sort of "pointless" to you, as it did to so many of us around then even though we were already becoming addicted to it? Fortunately for the painter, wild child graffiti artist David Choe, he picked the stock, which the New York Times points out is now about to be worth $200 million:

On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart checked in with Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich after the Florida primary wherein Mitt Romney won big. Figuring that he's got his party's nomination sewn up, Romney broke out his general election platform, which featured a shot at teachers. Undeterred by the results of the Florida primary, Gingrich started talking about what he will do on the first day of his presidency. It all made for some great grist for Jon Stewart's mill.

Wislawa Szymborska, the 1996 winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature, died Wednesday at her home in Krakow, Poland, from lung cancer. She published fewer than 400 poems in her lifetime and was known as a recluse despite being Poland's most famous poet. Her verse was loved for its simplicity and sense of humor and often used everyday objects such as a cat or an onion "to reflect on grand topics such as love, death and passing time."

Tonight David Letterman celebrates 30 years on the air. It's been quite a ride for old Dave, through different timeslots and networks, from the peak of zeitgeist to something else entirely. He's hosted starlets and politicians, often treating them with a dash of anger and more than a bit of sarcasm. Here are some of the most memorable moments from his time on television.

Faced with huge protests in Moscow last December and growing unrest over government corruption and inefficiency, the Kremlin last week launched a new website called "Russia Without Fools" to create a sort of online support group for angry citizens. Russians are being asked to log on and share their gripes about inept officials with a promise from the government that complaints will be reviewed and addressed. No one seems particularly convinced that the site — Russian President Dmitry Medvedev called it a "stupidity contest" — will lead to any problems actually being resolved, but it was immediately popular enough even on its first day that the traffic nearly crashed the servers.