It's the inverse of Godwin's law: As a Tea Party discussion grows longer, the probability of anti-semitism approaches one. It appears we just reached that moment in the discussion of Sandra Fluke, the "slut" who ignited a right-wing witch hunt by daring to discuss her health insurance plan in public.

Step 1: Take all of the dirty clothes off your floor and throw them onto your bed.

After one week of viral stardom Marilyn Hagerty, the 85-year-old North Dakota restaurant critic famous for her polite review of the local Olive Garden, is rebelling against her new fanbase of disaffected New Yorkers. Have we pushed our beloved Marilyn too far?

Even before all of Wall Street collapsed in September of 2008, bringing the national and global economy down with it, there was unemployment. Unemployment has always been a feature of this world. But since the whole "collapse of the economy" thing, it's been clear that if you lost your job, it was probably due to the nefarious work of economic villains far outside of your control. Not any more, though!

The former CEO of Time Warner famously called his company's merger with AOL the "worst deal of the century." But at least that was a combination of two profitable companies. The takeover we heard Twitter wanted to complete with Tumblr is far more baffling.

The rumors had been swirling for a while, but now there is video evidence that Whitney Houston's notoriously troubled daughter Bobbi Kristina, age 19, is doing sexy things with adopted brother Nick Gordon, age 22.

A new study from the CDC finds that deaths from gastoenteritis—"inflammation of the stomach and intestines that causes vomiting and diarrhea"—more than doubled between 1999 and 2007, to more than 17,000 per year. The majority of those deaths were due to hypervirulent strains of Clostridium difficile.

Did you hear? Teens are getting dangerously drunk by soaking tampons in vodka and shoving them up their butts. Or, wait, are they getting dangerously drunk by drinking Four Loko? Or maybe they're getting dangerously high huffing human poop? Or are they having dangerous sex at Rainbow Parties?

TMZ is reporting that the New Orleans Police Department has issued an arrest warrant for comedian Russell Brand after he allegedly grabbed a paparrazo's phone and hurled it through the window of a nearby office building earlier this week.

In the midst of his big wins last night, Rick Santorum offered up the nugget that reading from a teleprompter should be illegal for someone running for President. On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert took that idea to its logical conclusion: that all book learnin' is evil, an idea to which Santorum is no stranger.

As discussed on tonight's Daily Show, Fox News decided not to cover the primaries last night but instead chose to focus on their standard whining about the liberal elite and President Obama's poll numbers and NPR. Yet, they somehow managed to scoop CNN on the primary results, even though CNN was reporting the returns before they were official, making CNN the biggest loser of the night.

The Washington Post has served up a juicy story about the secrecy surrounding the divorces of CIA agents and their non-spook spouses. Hoo-boy, is it worth a read.

HBO has canceled its racetrack drama "Luck," after news of the series' third on-set horse death in two seasons broke earlier this week.

What if the results of the 2012 election hinge not on which candidate is the most non-crazy or has the least bad ideas but, rather, on whose voice most puts voters in the mood for sensual seduction?

In case you didn't know, the President and Mrs. Obama are hearing a British appeal for the United States to return to its status as a crown colony tonight or, anyway, hosting a state dinner for Prime Minister David Cameron and his wife, Samantha.

"The future looked so bright for tiny Til, a baby rabbit born without ears three weeks ago," Der Spiegel reports. For little Til was born in the east German town of Limbach-Oberfrohna, and Germans are a people known for their love of adorable mutants and pathetic baby animals. Like an earless, 8-year-old Lindsay Lohan from the family Leporidae, Til was destined for stardom.

There's a big story floating around the universe right now, and it's all yours, for $1.5 million.

The Guardian got its hands on a cache of violent Syrian despot Bashar al-Assad's emails from last year, and the upshot, so far, is that the guy bought a bunch of songs on iTunes. We made a Spotify playlist of them.

Three young men, to be exact, according to the source. They were all "summoned" to the mogul's apartment for some downlow fun. He was very enthusiastic about giving blow jobs and very effeminate, which is odd, considering his rep as a ladies' man. Our source says that he entertained his visitors "while his assistants typed on their laptops and waited for him to finish."

Here's an al-Jazeera story about a public screening of the KONY 2012 video in northern Uganda. It doesn't go over very well. "As the film progresses, puzzlement turns to anger," says al-Jazeera's Malcolm Webb. The crowd is critical: "There are some kind of people who are trying to mobilize using the atrocities committed in northern Uganda," says one man. "We wanted to see our local people who were killed. These are all white men, different from northern Uganda," says another. It's worth checking out al-Jazeera's project "Uganda speaks," which is gathering text messages in support or opposition of the campaign from Ugandans.