In today's second edition of "Don't Make That Rap Video," Katy Perry covered Kanye and Jay-Z's "Niggas in Paris" over the weekend. It is obviously horrible, but it did leave us with a fascinating chicken-or-egg question: Did Katy Perry beget Karmin, the white-people-rappin' duo featuring Perry doppelganger Amy Heidemann on vocals, or did Karmin's insufferable covers beget Katy Perry trying to be more like Karmin?

New York Magazine cover stories that purport to capture and explain some element of our current zeitgeist are not to be taken seriously. Just to be clear. Only people hermetically sealed in bubbles of Manhattan privilege would even labor under the delusion that such works of artful fiction were meant to be "believed," in a literal sense. Still—it is bothersome that they continue to be foisted upon the public. Why not just publish a collection of knock-knock jokes, instead? They'd contain more wisdom.

Ever watch Harry's Law starring the stout lady who's Stephen King's biggest fan? Me neither. Except I knew last night's episode was going to be a special one, thanks to commercials (no really, thank you, NBC Creative). In it, a grade school sued to get its student Natalie expelled because of her fits resulting from her conversion disorder. The school argued that she was distracting and then the episode confirmed it.

Michael Fassbender's Penis had a breakout 2011 thanks to its subdued but nuanced work in Shame, which was hailed by critics and his acting peers as a seminal performance. George Clooney was the first to give Fassbender's Penis high marks during the Golden Globes, but Charlize Theron also took time during the LA Human Rights Gala to say what a thrill it was to work in the presence of such a formidable talent:

Monologuist Mike Daisey, we've all learned, is an excellent liar. Now, let's see what else Daisey has lied about in his decades-long career, besides many of the facts in his story about investigating Foxconn. Here's one.

This is my first post of my first day at Gawker, and this clip from a 1986 episode of the Philadelphia-based teen dance show Dance Party USA sums me up pretty well. I, too, turn feral whenever in the presence of a loudspeaker blaring Nice & Wild's freestyle classic "Diamond Girl." The girl most prominently featured starting at 1:13 is my spirit animal, especially for her self-administered blowjob head-holding move. I'm always doing that!

Wonder of wonders! Prominent republican and former presidential candidate John McCain has come forward and said something almost entirely sensible about the contraception debate.

Here's the follow-up to middle-aged casino executive Allen Samuel's debut, "One of the Worst Rap Videos Ever Made." This one here is called, ah, "An Equally Painful Rap Video That Never Should Have Been Made, This One With Some 'Economic' Angle or, Christ, Who Even Knows."

As part of our ongoing project to catalog the 2012 presidential election from a metal point of view, we've been soliciting presidential endorsements from noteworthy American metal musicians. Today: Sutekh Hexen.

Remember William Bryan Jennings, the Morgan Stanley banker who stabbed a taxi driver over a fare dispute earlier this month? Allegedly while shouting racial slurs? Yes, well. Reuters has a long story about the case with quite a bit of fascinating background. For example:

I can't blame This American Life for falling for disgraced monologuist Mike Daisey's lies because I fell for them, too. I once confronted Daisey with my own doubts about his story, but he gave such a convincing performance that I stupidly dropped the issue.

Remember when we couldn't stop talking about the spike in orange juice prices? OK, well pretend that you do. Turns out we don't have to worry, because those fears have been greatly exaggerated.

A new study by University College London shows a correlation between literacy problems and health problems. Adults with trouble reading are twice as likely to die within five years as adults with no trouble reading. To be fair, what the study actually focused on was the ability of senior citizens to read and comprehend aspirin instructions.

John McCain knows a thing or two about nasty. Appearing on NBC's Meet the Press, he reflected on the current campaigns for a Republican presidential candidate to face off against Obama in November. Romney, Santorum, and Gingrich have all been criticized for waging war against each other in the form of attack ads in key primary states.

Non-hateful people everywhere were delighted yesterday by the story of two gay men kissing in protest at a Santorum rally. Now we have video of the event, which is regrettably sandwiched between Santorum's speech and the crowd chanting "U-S-A" as the protesters exit the gym. The interruption begins around 3:30, and the kiss follows shortly thereafter. You can now view a shorter version of the video that cuts through much of the bullshit.

After 72 years of being kept confidential, the 1940 census will be released on April 2. This is exciting news for historians with an interest in the Great Depression and general census enthusiasts. Actually, it is kind of neat, and the records will be available to anyone online. You just can't search by name, in case you were hoping to dig up specific dirt on your great-grandparents.

Remember Roger Ebert's infamous assertion that video games can never be art? Well, nyah, nyah, Roger — the Smithsonian American Art Museum has unveiled its latest exhibit "The Art of Video Games."

This is one of those things where you have to really squint to see it — except even squinting is no guarantee. A tipster sent in this eBay listing for "IMAGE OF MITT ROMNEY AND SATAN SHAKING HANDS ON PIECE OF TOAST." An intriguing find, to be sure, but whatever image the toast advertises is subtle, to say the least. It mostly just looks like a piece of toast. And with an $88.40 shipping fee, it's an expensive piece of toast.

TMZ has posted new video of Jason Russell's naked public meltdown, in which he can be heard screaming "fuck" and something about the devil. On the one hand, this footage gives a much closer look at what happened — before you get too excited, his penis is tastefully blurred. On the other hand, the new footage continues to dispel rumors that Russell was publicly masturbating, unless of course that happened offscreen.

The four teen moms at the heart of MTV's Teen Mom — Amber, Catelynn, Farrah, and Maci — will be moving on to bigger and better things after the show airs its fourth season this summer. While MTV won't say whether the girls opted to leave so they could focus on their continuing education, or whether MTV forced them out for getting too old, the end result is we'll soon be seeing the last of them, outside of endless reruns.