Unused flea-market typewriter Zooey Deschanel is very easy to dress in clothes, because "everything is so darn cute on her."

Dolce & Banana, a Cape Town jewelry shop that sells beaded necklaces to tourists, has been slapped with a trademark infringement lawsuit from none other than Italian fashion house Dolce & Gabbana. South African craft enthusiast Mijou Beller has since changed the name of her store to "...And Banana." She says she doesn't have the 100,000 South African rands ($13,195) to pay back the legal fees D&G claims she owes them. She is, however, pleased to have been featured in VOGUE.

Sputtering rage muppet Keith Olbermann has finally been fired from Al Gore's Current TV, Brian Stelter reports. He spent less than a year at the network, which took him on after he was similarly canned by MSNBC in 2011, and won't make a goodbye statement. In a hilariously bitchy "letter to viewers," Current writes:

Today marks the release of Bully, a "moving and troubling documentary" about the victims of adolescent bullying. It's being distributed by the Weinstein Company, which is co-run by Harvey Weinstein, a monstrous and violent bully who has hurt hundreds of people with his frequent rages and sociopathic lack of concern for the emotional or physical well-being of anyone with less power than himself.

BREAKING: AOL WINS dismissal of SEXY LAWSUIT launched by UNPAID bloggers desirous of Arianna's CA$H. Click for GALLERY.. of their HOTTEST.. NIP SLIPS.. (PHOTOS)

Depending on how much you enjoy making an ass of others (or having an ass made of you), April Fool's Day can be a sacred holiday. There are those who have elevated pranking to an art form: gone are the days when you could simply swap the salt and sugar, or fake a teen pregnancy.

Lest there be any doubt that females with public Facebook profiles are in constant peril, here is a thorough discussion of Girls Around Me, an iPhone app that allows users to push a button and see the Facebook profiles of every female in walking distance, according to FourSquare and plotted on a Google Map.

If you have kids of your own, you know how insane it is when some famous idiot like Angelina Jolie is talking to a magazine and is like, "Oh, we all hang out at home together and watch movies in bed!" Of course you do. I'm sure flying to Cambodia to shoot ludicrous Louis Vuitton ads only takes five minutes out of your day. The rest is all dedicated to you and your 12,000 little ones.

Most reality shows pay their casts for their time and work. A new reality show about yachting, however, has come up with the ultimate gambit for casting eccentric rich people: To be a featured passenger on the show's yacht, you must pay $50,000 to charter the boat.

Synergy in the Gawker Twitter universe: Esquire writer Chris "Why Don't Women Fuck Me Better?" Jones and Business Insider writer Michael "Quotes Stormfront in Earnest" Dougherty joined forces last night to discuss their feelings about journalistic ethics, battery acid semen, and their wives.

Weird Internets is a series in which we spotlight and explore funny, bizarre, or otherwise interesting corners of the internet. Today, we talk to Matthew K., or "cheesegod69," who has spent each Friday over the last few months following and retweeting every Kevin on Twitter — from @kevin to @kevin388.

Weird, right? He looks so normal-eyed and harmless! But 65-year-old trucker Robert Ben Rhoades, currently serving a life sentence for the murder of a 14-year-old Illinois girl, is believed to have killed "an average of three women a month by the early 1990s."

Two days ago, a representative for GOP Congressional candidate Matt Doheny swore that photos of him kissing campaign consultant Monica Notzon were totally innocent. The photos were "out of context," Monica protested.

Last night, MTV premiered The Pauly D Project, but it was more of a chore than a project. A spin-off documenting the jet-setting life of the most likeable Jersey Shore cast member (not that that's saying much) and his band of disciples, Project has all the charisma and excitement of belly button lint acting out Entourage.

"Did a 'Sea Monster' Wash Up on a South Carolina Coast?" asks KSEE News 24. Then they answer their question: "A South Carolina aquarium vet quickly dispelled this belief, identifying the freaky fish as a very large sturgeon." Bummer. [KSEE24]

Sarah Tressler, the Piven-schtupping stripper caught living a shameful secret life as a society reporter, broke her silence on Good Morning America today. She says employer The Houston Chronicle fired her for "not disclosing" her secret sidejob as an "Angry Stripper" with an anonymous blog. (The Chronicle won't comment on what happened.) She doesn't seem too upset, though.

Last weekend, America's subterranean war monster, Lord Kinbote Dick Cheney, received a new heart from a Virginia hospital. Apparently, he even got it legally, although we'll never know if the hospital in question first deferred him five times. The right got a new faintly Obamacare-related talking point, and the left—even as it worried about the invalidation of the most important health care reform in generations—well, it didn't really get it at all.

Here's a clip of Rick Santorum speaking at the Armory in Janesville, Wisc. on March 27, stumbling over a word that sounds a lot like the n-word. What on earth could he have been trying to say? Maybe he meant to call him "bleaugh"?

The recipient of the world's first silicone breast implants is and was a total bad-ass. Here are some facts about her from the BBC News Magazine's A Brief History of Breast Enlargements:

Stephen Colbert creating his own Super PAC was a stroke of genius as it has given him an endless comedy well. However, the Colbert Super PAC isn't just a joke, it has actually taken in more donations in the state of Texas than the pro-Romney PAC "Restore Our Future." With that in mind, on tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen introduced the Stephen Colbert Super PAC Super Fun Pack which has everything you need to start your own. Let's just say that the Super Fun Pack is appropriately named.