Sunday is full of chin-stroke provoking TV, so it's really nice to see some unabashed trash thrown in the mix. If Lifetime's The Client List makes good on the promise last night's premiere suggested, it is bound to become the Showgirls of television. Here is is in a nutshell: Jennifer Love Hewitt gives handjobs and speaks in a slight Southern accent.
Mayim Bialik, the once be-sunflowered jewel of the 90's, has joined the ranks of fellow whacky mothers Alicia Silverstone and January Jones. Bialik has penned a parenting book called, Beyond The Sling: A Real-Life Guide To Raising Confident, Loving Children The Attachment Parenting Way. The. Sling. Because it is about the joys of "attachment parenting" and breastfeeding your toddler.
The dialogue Peter Dinklage is given in Game of Thrones is so disproportionately rich and witty that I wonder if his castmates are jealous. It almost seems karmic to make someone from an underrepresented minority a show's star and most likable character. It's kind of like Disney World, where the disabled get a chance to have their day of priority (they zip to the front of lines with the speed that not even a Fastpass affords). But Tyrion's position isn't a matter of affirmative action: the brilliant thing about the character is that there's logic behind his sharpness, both in terms of physical survival and the assertion of his own existence. You can see in the reel above that his increasingly campy sister, Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey), blames him for killing their mother (she died in his childbirth). She obviously always has, and a man can even crumble under that stigma or use it to be great. For Tyrion, it's the latter.
Are you all safely indoors, windows locked, "911" on speed dial? Good. Today, as you doubtless know from reading about it on Breitbart or Michelle Malkin, is the "Day of Action" as decreed by the New Black Panther Party, the most important political organization in all of black America, judging by the level of coverage it receives from Michelle Malkin.
CBS News' Mike Wallace, who died over the weekend at 93, is being hailed as an icon of broadcast journalism for his foundational role as 60 Minutes' investigative bulldog. This is bullshit. He was a failed soap actor and vaudeville hack named Myron who just wanted to be on television. He was as much a journalist as Ryan Seacrest.
Last night on Oprah Winfrey's talk-show incarnate, Oprah's Next Chapter, she interviewed megachurch pastor T.D. Jakes and asked him the inevitable question: "Do you like gay people? Yes/No (circle one)."
This weekend racist pundit John Derbyshire lost his column at the National Review for being more direct with his racism than that magazine allows. We reached out to Derbyshire and Taki's Magazine executive editor Mandolyna Theodoracopulos, who is ostensibly responsible for publishing Derb's racist article, for comment. Mandolyna, the daughter of Taki's Magazine namesake and "soi disant anti-semite" Taki Theodoracopulos, responded thusly:
Now that the Great Recession has been over for a really long time *coughs up lung*, it's a great time to take a broad survey of the vibrant US economy and see how well all of it is doing, what with the recovery and all. How are massive corporations doing? How are common folks doing? Let's review.
It appears that 50-year-old Guns n' Roses frontman Axl Rose and 25-year-old Lana Del Rey are hanging out together at the same time in the same place. Ipso facto, they are dating. The pair were seen leaving mysterious L.A. laboratory Chateau Marmont before disappearing into the night to discuss all the ways in which drastically different parenting methods have impacted the Baby Boomers versus the Millennials. Or maybe vintage tees.
An "adult superstore" in border town Calexico, California is using an image of scantily clad Scarlett Johansson to advertise "DVD & VHS" on their business card. The managers over at VIP claim to have no idea who ScarJo is and why it's a big deal to have "lubricantes" protruding from her face, but it's only a matter of time before the Johansson brigade tracks down every last one of these cards and burns them to the ground, then Men In Black-ing anyone who's caught a glimpse.
For millennia, media that comes on screens has operated on a very simple premise: they show you entertaining things like Three's Company for free, and in return, you sit there and watch the ads. Very simple. And guess who is now fucking up this wondrous model of passive infotainment? That's right: kids these days.
Saturday Night Live returned from a long break last night with an episode that was pretty lacking but still featured two decent sketches. The first was "Bein' Quirky with Zooey Deschanel," the second installment of this sketch, which also featured host Sofia Vergara's interesting take on a Fran Drescher impression.
Who hasn't, at one point or another, wished that he or she could travel aboard the Titanic? I mean, the whole affair ended nastily with some 1,500 people killed, but what luxury before that. Now a lucky group of people, some of whom are descendants of Titanic passengers, have embarked on a cruise that will retrace the path of the doomed ocean liner.
