Last night, a documentary on Chris Birch, the macho rugby player from Wales who suffered a stroke and emerged gay, aired on British television. In I Woke Up Gay, Birch appears to be enormously comfortable with his newfound sexuality (dig those bleached bangs), but he still expresses the frustration and turmoil that typically accompanies burgeoning acceptance of one's queerness. He's convinced that his stroke "turned" him gay, and meets resistance frequently from people bristling at the very notion. (Several turn up in the film, including his current boyfriend.)

A school teacher in Washburn, Missouri, is under fire today for allegedly refusing to let a kindergartner go to the restroom, and then forcing her to remain seated in class even after she defecated herself.

Holman Jenkins, like any good upper class white male member of the Wall Street Journal editorial board, is absolutely perplexed by America's "Inequality Obsession." Look America, the whole "I am concerned about the alarming levels of income inequality in America" thing? Yeah. It's getting to be kind of... how can Holman Jenkins put this politely... an obsession. Not cute.

Kids caught on camera messing around the tracks inside the Kingston Avenue subway station in Brooklyn would be brought to the attention of the police, said Metropolitan Transportation Authority spokesman Charles Seaton who added this no-brainer directed at those who have no brain: "Playing on or near subway tracks is one of the most dangerous things anyone can do."

The New York posts reports that "Cocaine and several bottles of whiskey apparently fueled" that Secret Service hooker orgy in Colombia, which resulted in 12 agents being relieved of duty. But what isn't fueled by cocaine and bottles of whiskey in Colombia?

In an outtake from Khole Kardashian's E! reality show Khloe & Lamar, big sister Kim revealed a diabolical plan to force the people of Glendale, California, to submit to her nefarious whims by becoming their mayor.

Cork-stopped terrarium necklace Zooey Deschanel is the subject of this piece of art, drawn by Gawker reader Emily Hillburg. "its not a tip, but i am an artist, and i wanted to send this piece i made to you, because i thought you'd appreciate it," she writes.

Hirsute-lipped Sesame Street character Thomas Friedman, America's most respected newspaper columnist, does not "have it easy," just because he lives in a sprawling mansion and holds a job that consists of rewriting the same exact column over and over again every week, merely substituting different—but equally trivial—anecdotes gleaned while looking out of the window of a car, train, or airplane in which Thomas Friedman rode on his way to meet some business person.

One measly hologram? Peh. Coachella can do better than that. How about an all-hologram lineup?

Unlike this woman, he actually had a semi-legitimate reason.

According to a new study from the ASPCA, most people select which puppy to adopt based on physical appearance; for cats, the top criteria is "behavior with people." That's because cats are assholes.

How great is the Dastoli Bros.' short film Cats in Space? Well, let's just say the Star Trek vs. Star Wars debate is over — and Cats in Space won. (Make sure to check out the making of as well.)

After it was established that Jack and Rose could have easily managed to lie side by side on their makeshift raft, the question turned to one of buoyancy: Could the plank have sustained their combined weight?

If you are confused about why this is happening, remember to read this post: This one.

Did you know that, a couple weeks ago, creator of Girls and voice of her or a generation Lena Dunham recounted to fashion wunderkind Tavi Gevinson's website, Rookie, the story of how she lost her virginity?

On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert was shocked - shocked! - by the GSA's massive spending and he wasn't alone. Fox News was also outraged and they knew just where to place the blame.

Anders Behring Breivik, the Norwegian terrorist who massacred 77 people, many of them teenagers, last summer, made his first appearance in court today, and he had some crazy things to say.

In order to make sure that the Buffett Rule, which would increase taxes on incomes over a million dollars, wouldn't pass, the GOP filibustered it. Their main reason was that $4.7B this would generate simply isn't enough to make the tax worthwhile. As Jon Stewart pointed out on tonight's Daily Show, that stance doesn't quite gel with the GOP's take on money for Planned Parenthood, which, while significantly less than $4.7B, is too much to for the government to be spending.

Masafumi Nagasaki is seventy-six years old. He lives, naked, as a hermit on a hostile Japanese island. He also sounds like he used to be a total hipster.

Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer's reps have confirmed the two are expecting a vampire baby, EW.com reports.