It's very simple, very direct. Fair and balanced.

Semi-retired Florida-based gyno Dr. Adam Ostrzenski claims in a paper published today in the Journal of Sexual Medicine — the ninth most influential urology & nephrology journal — that he has managed to track down the physical whereabouts of the mythical G-spot.

So your girlfriend is deathly afraid of returning home to find a masked robber inside her apartment. So what do you do? Easy: You hide inside her apartment dressed as a masked robber waiting for her to return home.

Miss Travel bills itself as "the #1 Travel Dating website." Quite a claim until you learn that it's also "the only online dating website for travelers." Less impressive, perhaps, but then you arrive at the gist: "We match Generous travelers who hate to travel alone with Attractive travelers who would love the opportunity to travel the world for free."

Burger King today became the largest restaurant chain to put a time frame on their pledge to purchase only cage-free chicken and pork products.

Three times a day, an automatic feeder dispenses dry food for Milo the tabby.

While we've all been wringing our hands while trapped over here on this "side of the pond" (Atlantic Ocean) worrying about if and when the second dip of the Double Dip Recession With No Fucking Sprinkles™ would arrive, that clever old recession was slinking "across the pond" (Atlantic Ocean) to rear its ugly, stupid, money-sucking head in "Jolly" (not so jolly now I bet, ha) Olde Englande. From the NYT:

Joe Muto, formerly known as the Fox News Mole, reported on Twitter this morning that he received a visit from the District Attorney's office at 6:30 a.m. According to Muto, the warrant accuses him of grand larceny and conspiracy—WITH WHOM?—"amongst other things" in connection to his role as Gawker's Fox News correspondent, which lasted close to 36 hours. The DA's office took his laptop, an iPad, and an iPhone.

SHOCKER! No, not shocker. The other one. The one that's not a shocker.

Stopping off somewhat spontaneously at popular University Hill hangout The Sink, President Obama was greeted with cheers from surprised patrons who hastily picked their teeth clean before the CIC stopped by their table to make small talk.

President Obama's much hyped appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon got off to a great start when the two, with help from the Roots, slow jammed the news. Pure gold.

A new psych study out of Wake Forest University has found that everyone's best side is their left side. Really.

On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert uncovered a grave threat to the supremacy of the US dollar: Iceland is considering adopting Canada's currency as its own. Like all red blooded Americans, Colbert despises Canada - what with their fiscal sensibility and free healthcare - and vows not to let this stand.

In the wake of the hooker scandal that keeps getting worse for the Secret Service, some have been positing that if the Secret Service had more female agents this never would have happened. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart and correspondent Samantha Bee put that idea to the test.

Two men whose parents did not raise them well have been arrested in Utah after allegedly setting up potentially deadly homemade booby traps to ensnare travelers along a popular hiking trail.

Intergroom, the annual international grooming convention and competition, took place this past weekend at the Meadowlands Convention Center in Secaucus, NJ. It was colorful. Here's a play-by-play from photographer Dustin Fenstermacher.

Virginia Fike from Virginia […Fike] bought two lottery tickets from a truck stop a few weeks ago, one of which turned out to be worth a million dollars.

A shopkeeper in China was fatally injured last week after a woman with whom he was clashing clutched his testicles, and squeezed them until he blacked out.

The New York Times featured an article yesterday about how outdoor clothing retailer Woolrich has begun selling a pair of $65 chinos specifically designed to make it easier to hide a handgun on your person, as part of the company's Elite Concealed Carry line.

Borat, a film once banned in its "native country" of Kazakhstan, has actually done wonders for the former Soviet republic, according to Foreign Minister Yerzhan Kazykhanov.