Stern but lovable news show host John McLaughlin has died at the age of 89. He hosted his iconic, low-fi political talk show for 34 years. Now he is presiding over Pat Buchanan- Eleanor Clift shoutfests in heaven. “Bye BYE,” John.

“Swedish Pokemon teens terrorized by laser-wielding sex pigs,” reads one headline. “Sex pigs halt traffic after laser attack on Pokémon teens,” screams another. I, however, see something else entirely. I see two Swedes having a romantic night out wearing pig masks and physicalizing their love for each other on public infrastructure. I see two Swedes in love.

All the best people work for Donald Trump.

Recently, the Harvard University Republican Club (of kids) got widespread news coverage for refusing to endorse Donald Trump. Now the Yale Republicans are in a public battle over Trump as well. Hey—fuck off!!!

What’s so bad about weed that we should continue to keep it illegal in this country? The DEA is glad you asked. We should keep weed illegal because it is illegal, they say.

On Monday, Zephyr Teachout, the Fordham Law professor running for Congress in New York’s 19th Congressional District as a Democrat, is looking past her Republican rival John Faso to the men backing him: the secretive Republican financiers Paul Singer and Robert Mercer.

A Brooklyn man taken into custody in East New York late on Sunday has been charged in the killing of imam Maulama Akonjee and his assistant Thara Uddin outside the Al-Furqan Jame Masjid mosque in Ozone Park, Queens, on Saturday. Oscar Morel is charged two counts of second-degree murder and two counts of criminal possession of a weapon, police said Monday night.

On Monday, Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane was convicted of nine criminal charges—including two counts of felony perjury—in connection with the illegal release of secret grand jury documents, The New York Times reports. According to prosecutors, Kane, a Democrat, leaked the information to a Philadelphia newspaper to embarrass former prosecutor Frank Fina, who led the investigation of Jerry Sandusky under her Republican predecessor.

On Monday, the Pentagon announced that 15 Guantanamo Bay detainees have been transferred to the United Arab Emirates, bringing the total number of prisoners at the facility to 61. According to CNN, the State Department says this is the largest single transfer of Guantanamo detainees under President Obama.

For the second time this month, Donald Trump spokeswoman Katrina Pierson corrected her own historically questionable charges against President Obama, conceding on Monday that the invasion and occupation of Afghanistan was not, as she previously claimed, “Obama’s war.”

“By the way, under those eight years, before Obama came along, we didn’t have any successful radical Islamic terrorist attack in the United States,” said Rudy Giuliani, who served as mayor of New York City on September 11, 2001, at an event with Donald Trump this afternoon.

Nowadays, you can’t open a single tab without running into an article about how horses do not belong in the Olympics. Our very own Gawker Media network, for instance, has become polluted with such opinions. But not all Olympic horses deserve such scorn.

The Games of the XXXI Olympiad seem cursed for a number of reasons—but this particular tragedy, no one could have foreseen. For this is the tale of proud volleyball mom Cindy Lloyd’s exploded luggage. And shampoo was fucking everywhere.

Who gives the best advice? You, the idiots slacking off at your stupid job, reading Gawker. One wealthy mom desperately needs your help!

This morning in Rio, Spanish dressage rider Severo Jesus Jurado Lopez and his horse Lorenzo (please roll the “r”), trotted onto the Olympic course and began a dance routine to the legendary “Smooth” by Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas—perhaps the most indelible song about giving your heart, making it real, or else forgetting about it in the history of recorded music.

I spent one Saturday morning late last year on my couch toggling back from Grindr to Scruff to Grindr to Scruff. I don’t remember what I was looking for; all I remember is that I was looking. At some point, I realized three hours had passed, and I still hadn’t moved from my couch or started my day. Even if I had, it undoubtedly would have been interrupted by a hook-up app, and/or a hook-up, though the latter was far less likely.

Apparently, yes.

Historically, American fathers dreamed that their sons would grow up to be greater men than they were. That was before the dreaded “millennial” generation.

Earlier this year, I met a source in a Washington, D.C., hotel lobby to discuss a financial corruption case they claimed to be familiar with. In the course of our conversation, this person told me that Andrew Cuomo is not actually the governor of New York. What? Come on, that’s crazy. Or...is it?