Amanda Bynes Would Like President Obama to Intervene in Her DUI

Louis Peitzman · 06/05/12 06:46PM

Look, we all wish we could speak to Barack Obama directly — and thanks to the magic of Twitter, sometimes we pretend that we do. But we accept (hopefully) that he's a busy guy, currently working on getting reelected, and he probably doesn't have time to read all our pleas.

Bad News, Black Girls

Hamilton Nolan · 06/05/12 02:15PM

Oh, there you are, young black women! Didn't see you there. Yes, well, come in, sit, sit, please. Sit on the good chair. How are you? Everything okay? School good? Good, good. Can I get you anything? Water? Soda? Well. Not soda. Haha. I mean... yes, well, I don't really know how to put this, but, we have a bit of bad news for you.

Is Your Child a Lax Bro?

Max Read · 06/05/12 01:18PM

Parents: is your child a student at an elite New Jersey or Long Island all-boys prep school? Does your child enjoy "hanging out" and listening to O.A.R.? Is your child named "Trip," or something? If you answered "yes" to any of those questions, your child may be a lax bro.

Early Results Are in: Gawker Media Census Proves You’re Drunk and Dirty

Studio@Gawker · 06/05/12 10:59AM

Last week we asked you to take the 2012 Gawker Media Census, and in return offered one lucky survey-taker the opportunity to win a new iPad. Well, early responses are in, and we learned some interesting info about you guys—like the fact that you're more likely to purchase alcohol than cleaning supplies in upcoming months. Hey, if worse comes to worst, you can always use vodka to sterilize things…

The Basketball Wives Admit That They're Assholes, Cry About It

Rich Juzwiak · 06/05/12 10:34AM

We've reached the day of atonement for VH1's Housewives killer Basketball Wives, a show that is essentially Flavor of Love in good shoes. On last night's Season 4 reunion special, head Basketball Wife in charge, co-creator/executive producer/star/Shaq's ex Shaunie O'Neal lamented this season's imbalance of "good" and "bad." In the former category, she cited scenes in which her child had a birthday party and two women got mammograms. The latter category included every other scene.