The Catholic Church Should Not Expect to Be Taken Seriously

Hamilton Nolan · 06/05/12 09:12AM

A few years ago, Sister Margaret Farley, a nun and a teacher at Yale's Divinity School, published Just Love: A Framework for Christian Sexual Ethics—a book that did not say that your sexual urges are nothing more than the shameful pangs of demon penises fucking your soul which should be repressed and repressed and repressed until you are absolutely warped, underneath that church outfit. Burn the witch! Ahh, apparently we don't do that any more? Well... censure the witch!

Omar Get Your Shotgun: The Wire Musical You Never Asked For Is Here

Neetzan Zimmerman · 06/05/12 07:50AM

Sing along with all your favorite Wire stars — Michael K. Williams (Omar), Sonja Sohn (Kima), Larry Gilliard, Jr. (D'Angelo), Andre Royo (Bubbles), and Felicia "Snoop" Pearson (Snoop) — as they take the stage to perform a musical adaptation of HBO's much-loved police procedural.

AMC and Dish Network Get Into a Slap Fight

Louis Peitzman · 06/04/12 10:52PM

In a move that's colder than circa-Season 3 Betty Draper, Dish Network decided to pull AMC (home of Mad Men and Breaking Bad) from its listings. Fans were outraged, but both sides kept it civil — until Sunday night, when things got bitchy.

Jon Stewart Was Highly Amused By CNN's Coverage of the Queen's Diamond Jubilee

Matt Toder · 06/04/12 10:31PM

In order to properly cover the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, CNN went with wall to wall coverage that provided ample opportunity for Piers Morgan and the other commentators to gush about all the boats and the way they turned and other various non-events. CNN was so committed to the event, they didn't even break away when that horrible plane crash in Nigeria occurred. On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart recapped their coverage and was highly amused.

Finally, Barack Obama Covers 'Call Me Maybe'

Louis Peitzman · 06/04/12 09:08PM


OK, so it's not actually the President singing Carly Rae Jepsen's oh-God-why-can't-I-stop-listening-to-this hit, but it's definitely the next best thing.

Coal Activist Questioned About Child Porn After Showing Innocuous Bathtime Photo at Hearing

Jessica Benjestorf · 06/04/12 05:42PM

By most accounts, Maria Gunnoe is a pretty swell lady. She's a coal activist who's won prizes for her efforts to stop mountaintop removal coal mining, and just last week she went to Washington, D.C. to talk to the House Committee on Natural Resources. Gunnoe was in our nation's capital to plead her case on behalf of her West Virginia neighbors suffering through coal-related water pollution.

Fatally Wounded Bus Driver Ignores Injuries to Ensure Passenger Safety

Neetzan Zimmerman · 06/04/12 05:05PM

Despite the life-threatening nature of the injuries he sustained after a piece of metal penetrated the windshield of the bus he was driving, Wu Bin, a 48-year-old bus operator from Hangzhou, China, still managed to find the strength to stop the vehicle, lift the parking brake, put on the hazards, and ask the two-dozen passengers on board to remain seated, before passing out.

Today's Song: Little Boots 'Headphones (Dimitri From Paris Dub)'

Rich Juzwiak · 06/04/12 04:55PM

This unreleased dub rips off Madonna's "Into the Groove" quite explicitly, and I suspect that is the point. Considering that it's coming from one of the most encyclopedia minds in dance music today, Dimitri from Paris, this track reads more like a reference to the small rash of musical Madonna wannabes in the '80s. In the hierarchy, I think "Headphones" sits somewhere below Regina's "Baby Love" but above Alisha's "Baby Talk." This guy knows what I'm talking about.

So, Who Did Jennifer Love Hewitt Jerk Off This Week?: Not Blake Lively's Brother

Rich Juzwiak · 06/04/12 04:35PM

On this week's episode of The Jennifer Love Hewitt Handjob Hour The Client List , Love's character Riley found herself unable to change the oil of her latest client Derrick, because he just wanted to talk about his relationship problems. She was cool with that because in addition to being a massage therapist, she's also kind of a therapist therapist? His woman ended up getting a vibrator to help, I don't know, smooth things out and that made things better or something?