The always-infuriating New York Times Style section featured a story Thursday about insanely expensive dog houses. It was an article tailor-made made to generate the piquant brand of blind rage specific to every story featured by the always-infuriating New York Times Style section.

Think Dora the Explorer is just some stupid baby show for babies? You're absolutely right. But this live-action reimagination from CollegeHumor is strictly for grown ups (and adult babies).

CNN and Fox News viewers tuning in this morning to find out how SCOTUS ruled in the matter of the Affordable Care Act's individual mandate were initially presented with false information: Both channels (along with a few other news outlets) rushed to report that the mandate was struck down, despite the fact that it had been upheld.

Now that awkward weirdo Ann Curry has bid an uncomfortable, tear-stained farewell her Today viewers, we're one step closer to learning about the succession plans for America's Only Morning 'News' Show That Was Co-Founded by a Monkey. One possible side effect of the shake-up underway: We hear MSNBC's Willie Geist, whose current gig involves pointing out Joe Scarborough's lies in real time, may end up in Natalie Morales' chair as the show's newsreader.

50 Shades of Grey author E.L. James—Snowqueens Icedragon to her fans—is purportedly making an estimated $1.34 million a week off her quaint little country romance novel. Having sold 20 million copies and counting, the trilogy is calmly and methodically shattering every previous sales record in the world.

A housewife from the southern Brazilian state of Rio Grande do Sul was awarded R$10,000 (~US$4,800) in damages for finding an unfurled condom inside a can of Knorr tomato paste.

Daniel Tyler and Conrad McConnell, a.k.a. the Idjut Boys, are finally releasing an album. Not another mix or collection or collaboration: an "artist album" called Cellar Door, designed, McConnell says, for "hav[ing] a cup of coffee and read[ing] the paper." It still sounds like classic Idjuts, though — spacey and shaggy and drenched in echo and reverb — and it's only a matter of time before the whole thing is reworked for one of the pair's legendarily long sets. "Going Down," which we're premiering here, has apparently already been the recipient of a "drum and bassy dub" mix. Not that it needs it.

BuzzFeed has built a lucrative business on organizing the internet's confusing spectacle into listicles easily comprehended by even the most numbed office workers. But the site's approach to all content as building blocks for viral lists puts it in an awkward position in relation to internet etiquette and journalistic ethics.

Comedian Louis C.K. just single-handedly proved that you don't need Ticketmaster and their inscrutable "convenience" charges to make a killing in ticket sales.

On the March 26th episode of The O'Reilly Factor, host Bill O'Reilly told American Constitution Society president Caroline Fredrickson that she was "going to lose" her argument that the individual mandate was a constitutionally-sound tax and "does not require people to buy health insurance."

If you read "the business section" or invest in a "portfolio" or are a member of or have ever gotten into an argument with a member of "the Republican Party," you're probably familiar with the argument that corporations have a moral and legal duty to act solely to grow their value for their own shareholders. If you are not a corporation's shareholder, in other words, it has no duty to do shit for you. Now, this idea is being challenged. BUT: should it be?

You want an unadulterated, neatly packaged expression of pride? See Beasts of the Southern Wild. And even if you don't want that, you should still see Benh Zeitlin's arresting first film. Gorgeous, poignant and plainspoken in its achievement of both so as to come off as humble, this movie exists to make adverbs modify the word "original." "Boldly original" says Movieline. "Strikingly original," says Entertainment Weekly. "Fiercely original," says Hitflix. "Dazzlingly original," says the Sydney Morning Herald.

This week sees the release of the 11th R. Kelly album, Write Me Back. It's a follow-up of sorts to 2010's retro-tender Love Letter and just as wonderful of a spotlight for the best male voice in contemporary R&B, period. Like before, it's straightforward soul that's mopped of any potential pee jokes.

You probably know that CNN completely and utterly blew it today, in the most embarrassing way possible, by reporting not "what happened" but, actually, the exact opposite. But did you know that it's all the fault of a super-hot news-babe? BuzzFeed's Michael Hastings explains in his piece about how stupid everyone at CNN is feeling:

On Monday, we told you about the Anti-Semitic Elmo of Central Park. We knew little at the time, except that he hated Jews and wanted to make sure everyone knew—while wearing an Elmo costume. Now the New York Times has dug up the completely unsurprising disturbing backstory of the guy.

Hartford-based WNPR reporter Jeff Cohen has two little girls: Sadie, 5, and Eva, 3. Recently, Sadie decided to give Eva a homemade haircut, which, as you might expect, didn't end up looking very good.

John Roberts, former character actor as "the dad who wears khaki shorts and stands with his hands on his hips a lot," joined the liberal wing of the Supreme Court in upholding the Affordable Care Act, or "Obamacare." In doing so, he gave a lot of people who don't pay attention reason to celebrate him on Twitter. They're idiots.

In the immediate aftermath of the Supreme Court's highly anticipated ruling on the constitutionality of the Affordable Care Act's individual mandate, every news organization in America nearly trampled over one another in an effort to be the first to report the story.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Hahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahaha.

Less than a day after filmmaker Dean Peterson's short doc about the mischievous subway stair at the 36th Street station gained viral status, the MTA has put an end to the voyeuristic schadenfreude by bringing in a repair crew.