Sadly, no amount of jail time will bring back Viper the police dog, who died when he bit into a package of cocaine. But it still feels like justice is being served — the North Carolina man responsible has been sentenced to 11 years in jail.

Look, is it news that George Clooney and Stacy Keibler got food poisoning in Italy? Is it absolutely essential that you know a high-profile Hollywood couple ate an improperly prepared meal and had it coming out of both ends?

Have you heard that video is a big thing over at Gawker Media? It's true, we watch and post a lot of videos each week. Here are some of the best videos of week, culled from an array of Gawker Media sites.

It's unclear what could have possessed KTLA Morning News entertainment reporter Sam Rubin to tweet "fake ass nigga" at rapper-producer Yung Berg. The offending tweet has been removed — although it stayed up for several hours before that — and Rubin is claiming he was hacked, but this story still doesn't make a lot of sense.

I've never felt more important than when I lived in New York. I was poor and my work was neither very good nor very well-read, and yet every day I'd wake up in my 10-by-10 room, its window looking out over my building's rusted trashcans, and somehow think I'd achieved another great victory.

A performance by punk band Cro-Mags was postponed yesterday after the band's founder and former bassist attacked two current group members in their dressing room. Harley Flanagan burst in right before the group was about to take the stage and started attacking with a hunting knife and his teeth.

This week we received mail from a Max Read enthusiast, a Canadian with a simple request, and a person who hates dogs. We're looking into fulfilling the requests that were so kindly asked of us, so next week you can expect a Canada-centric site with a new subtitle. Until then, ciao ciao!

President Obama, who is currently on the second day of a two-day bus tour through Ohio and Pennsylvania, stopped by Ann's Place in Akron this morning where he was greeted by the restaurant's 70-year-old owner Josephine "Ann" Harris.

On Tuesday Brad Pitt's hometown paper published a hyper conservative letter-to-the-editor from his mom that stopped just short of identifying Barack Hussein Obama as a Muslim terrorist. Now his close personal friends (everyone on the Internet) cannot stop gossiping about it.

At a military parade in former Soviet republic of Belarus, soldiers show off their uncanny synchronicity with a mesmerizing routine that transforms them into a living zoetrope.

I can think of no better end to a week full of words from and about Frank Ocean than with some music. Speaking for its sun-kissed self, "Sweet Life" is off Ocean's official debut Channel Orange, which is out a week from Tuesday. The New York Times' Jon Caramanica says the album is "beautiful," and from what I've heard of it so far, I'm inclined to agree. I would be even without all the gay stuff.

For those of you who have missed him, America's favorite pizza guy Herman Cain is back— in exactly the way you'd expect him to be. Cain launched his new online channel, CainTV, patriotically on July 4th (for an apt sampling, check out this trailer).

In the aftermath of Wednesday's failed display, the producers of San Diego's Big Bay Boom Fireworks Show say they would like to make it up to attendees by putting on another show.

The public relations industry often interprets its job as being that of a great sprinkler, spewing forth lightly treated sewage across the media's lawn, hoping to convince something to grow. This is PR Dummies. Dodging the incoming effluent, every week.

In the wake of Frank Ocean's announcement that he once loved a man, there has been a renewed discourse about what it means for the supposedly homophobic crew Odd Future to have a male member that is queer or queerish or whatever Frank Ocean is. This makes him the second known member that isn't entirely straight — Odd Future producer Syd tha Kyd is an out lesbian who hates the word "lesbian."

Nicole DiDonato, a field reporter for Grand Rapids FOX affiliate WXMI, was playfully mauled by a stray cat during a live report on the city's new designation as "Beer City USA."

Authorities say a Florida teen shot himself in the forehead while under the effects of magic mushrooms because he thought he was dreaming and wanted to wake up.

The top story out of the recently concluded Supreme Court term was, of course, the healthcare decision. But a close second was the astonishing fact that Associate Justice Antonin Scalia is a conservative. And an asshole! So what?

It's barbecue season, and you need to sound smart while drinking beer around your charred meat. But how will you discuss the most important scientific news of the year — and maybe of the decade — if you don't know anything about it? It's okay. We're here to explain what "the God Particle" is, and whether or not the Europeans found it.

To love horror movies is to live a life searching for a fix like your first highs and rarely getting it. For me, those first loves were slashers like Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street and Halloween. Since I saw those movies, I've had hopes for every over-hyped horror film, and those hopes are almost always dashed. Then I saw V/H/S.