Both landing a job and finding a way to fulfill sexual fantasies can be difficult things to do. Sadly, after writing a bomb threat on the back of his restaurant job application, a man in Nebraska is no closer to achieving either goal.

Washington Post editor and book critic Ron Charles tweeted this photo of colleague Dennis Drabelle holding up a correction letter he received from elementary school students in Bethesda, Maryland, calling it "our favorite correction letter ever."

For more than 20 years, Magic Johnson has been HIV positive—but it's never been revealed who he contracted it from. Last night on PBS's Frontline documentary, "AIDS in Black America," Magic disclosed the same vague answer he's given the press since 1991: "Sleeping with a lot of women."

Seriously, do you know? He's been missing since June. We mentioned last week that he's probably in rehab (also that he's a callow scion who owes everything to the circumstances of his birth, something a lot of you disagreed with!), but that his staff and family are still resolutely refusing to tell his constituents what's going on. His father vigorously denied a report that he'd attempted suicide, insisting that he's just "regaining his strength." An anonymous friend told a Chicago radio station that "he doesn't get a lot of sleep and he has sleep disorders." What do you think? Drugs? Suicide? Chronic illness he wants to keep secret?

Two weeks ago, my power went out thanks to the nasty derecho that hit the mid-Atlantic region. It stayed out for seven days, forcing many people I know to flee the area (as we did), or stay in hotels, or do something to protect themselves in the middle of a record-setting heat wave.

The captain of the cruise ship Costa Concordia, which cost 32 passengers their lives when it capsized back in January (allegedly because the captain was literally showboating for a friend on the shore) gave his first full interview about the accident Wednesday. He's way less sorry than you might expect.

The other day, I realized I had not listened to Jennifer Paige's "Crush" yet this summer. I fixed that immediately. What Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You" is to December (fine: September through December), Mariah soundalike Paige's "Crush" is to the summer months of my life: a quintessential sound of the season. As such, it is only rivaled by DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince's "Summertime."

You know that car game you used to play as a kid where you'd pretend there was a little man running alongside the car dodging obstacles? Turns out dogs have their own version of that game, except instead of imagining a little man dodging obstacles, they pretend they're chomping down on passing motorists.

You're gonna need a fresher pair of underwear after this one.

Recently, I received a piece of advice: "You should wear a cap." As this was unsolicited, I asked what my friend's boyfriend was talking about.

When Jeremy Kilburn broke his leg hiking while through northern California's Shasta-Trinity National Forest with longtime pal Dan Grasso, he did what anyone would do: He radioed for help.

Because we can't all afford to eat off NY Mag's Cheap Eats list, this week several popular fast food chains are giving away [vaguely] food[ish things] for free. Here's a guide to who's giving away what and how far you'll have to debase yourself to get it:

Caleb Mason, an associate professor of law at Southwestern University, has done us all a service by producing, in a paper for the Saint Louis University Law Journal, the most thorough legal reading of Jay-Z's "99 Problems" yet. The upshot? Jay-Z mostly gets it right, except for one glaring omission. Some highlights:

Annie lives in Arglington, VA, and has size 102ZZZ breasts. To say that she "suffers" from gigantomastia would be inaccurate because she seems to love her 85 pounds of boobs and also makes them work for her. Annie has done hundreds of adult movies as "Norma Stitz" (get it?).

Ray Kelly, the head of the NYPD, is just so full of shit. His police department has a massive "stop and frisk" program which, by the NYPD's own statistics, is existentially programmed to stop and frisk hundreds and hundreds of thousands of completely innocent young black and Latino men with no real cause. It is a minority dragnet, so blatantly racist that not even the police chief can quibble on that point. He can merely say: it's for the black people's own good.

Michigan Humane Society agents, accompanied by Detroit Police officers, descended on the home of Detroit rapper Young Calicoe today to remove animals found on the premises that may have been victims of a dog and cock fighting operation.

First of all, this video is VERY, VERY LOUD, so turn your volume WAY DOWN, and don't — UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES — watch this video with headphones on if you value your ability to hear things.

On last night's edition of Jimmy Kimmel Live!, acclaimed star of stage and screen Gary Oldman made good use of his classically trained chops by reciting a passage from R. Kelly's autobiography, Soulacoaster: The Diary of Me, in appropriately dramatic fashion.

As part of McDonald's Canada's ongoing transparency campaign, the company's executive chef Dan Coudreaut responds to a customer's question about the Big Mac's "special sauce" by demonstrating how to make your own using commonly found ingredients.

You're an educated, quick-talking, whip-smart son of a gun who prides yourself on maintaining a diverse group of friends who come from varying walks of life. But are there any card-carrying evangelical Christians who run in your group? Do you even know what it means to be an evangelical? Well lucky for you, today is your day to meet one.