Corporate America knows that the key characteristic of you, the consumer, is this: you are a liar. You lie to your wife. You lie to your boss. And, worst of all, you lie to corporate America survey-takers whose job it is to determine what you like so that corporate America can sell that thing to you. What do you really like? Corporate America will track your eyeballs in order to find out.
From last night's Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, a straightforward gag with straightforwardly funny results: Either Paul Reubens or Jimmy Fallon as Paul Reubens doing signature Pee-wee Herman voices over the trailer for Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight Rises.
When Piers Morgan announced his landing of the first sit-down interview with Robert Blake in over a decade, many expected to see sparks fly.
Bigot in pilgrim's clothing Kirk Cameron is flapping his gums about marriage again, this time for the hilariously named Marriage Anti-Defamation Alliance, a branch of NOM, which is an organization devoted to defaming gay people and treating them like they are subhuman, impossible of experiencing love and basic civil rights.
Your teenage daughter—how much do you really know about her? You know that she likes church, and playing with dolls, and going to the ice cream shoppe. But did you know that she wants to be tied up and sexually dominated by a dark brooding stranger? Well, she does. Sorry.
If you don't have time to review the full 267-page internal investigation of the Penn State scandal, here's the gist: Everyone knew. Former Penn State head football coach Joe Paterno knew. Former Penn State University president Graham Spanier knew. Former Penn State University vice president Gary Schultz knew. Penn State Athletic Director (currently on leave) Tim Curley knew. Everyone knew. As far back as 1998, when they learned of a criminal investigation of Sandusky related to an instance of suspected sexual misconduct with a boy in a PSU football locker room shower.
Elite Gymnastics is going to bring ska back. This might be sort of surprising if you've ever heard an Elite Gymnastics song: the stock in trade of the Minneapolis band (James Brooks, 27, and Josh Clancy, 24) is a kind of heavily compressed rave revivalism — shoegaze with breakbeats, maybe. But if you ask the band, they've already started.
Sort of like the geriatric's version Chris Brown-Drake fight, but with less violence and no Tony Parker, Bob Dylan is beefing with historians at PBS over the whereabouts of the electric guitar he used at the 1965 Newport Folk Festival, where Dylan famously went "electric." Dylan claims he's still in possession of the Fender Stratocaster he used, but Dawn Peterson, the daughter of Victor Quinto, Dylan's pilot from the 1960s, says otherwise.
Actress Kristin Chenoweth was injured Wednesday afternoon on the Williamsburg set of CBS's The Good Wife. According to TMZ, Chenoweth, who was filming a guest spot for the drama, was struck by a piece of lighting equipment that toppled over in a wind gust, causing her to violently strike her head on the ground. The New York Post reports she suffered a seizure soon after. Paramedics stabilized Chenoweth on the scene and took her to Bellvue Hospital, where she is listed in stable condition.
If British scientists have their way, mutant mosquitoes will soon destroy the Florida Keys. Well, not exactly. But it's a possibility, or at least something to to think about, according to the 90,000 residents who have signed a petition. The genetically-modified mosquitoes are designed to resist the spread of Dengue fever, which is apparently a concern these days in the Keys.
In unsurprising news, totally normal and relatable person Mitt Romney was booed by the NAACP today after the Republican presidential nominee promised to eliminate Obamacare (née Romneycare) if elected president. The jeering crowd disrupted Romney for a good fifteen seconds or so before the smirking hair joke weirdo regained control and attempted to smooth things over with a predictably boring story about the Chamber of Commerce.
Tired of studios and suits for obvious reasons, Community creator Dan Harmon has taken his next project directly to the people through the crowdfunding website Kickstarter, and brought screenwriter Charlie Kaufman along with him.
