Here is some news that is either comforting or depressing: there are still flat Earth truthers out there. Prominent among them is the very successful rapper B.o.B (you might know him from... this one?), who has spent the last 24 hours or so tweeting a lot of good flat Earth memes and theories.

An Indiana councilman was sworn into office this week from behind bars at a federal facility, where he’s being held on charges that he murdered a man during a drug deal gone wrong.

What happens to a writer who becomes a political prisoner? “I have nothing to say.”

According to the New York Post, Donald Trump commutes to campaign events in Iowa from Manhattan, so that he can stay involved in the family business—The Trump Organization. “I’m still running a business,” he said. “It’s doing phenomenal, and the hotels are doing even better because of the excitement factor.”

Responding to earlier reports that filmmakers had cut footage, damaging to the Clinton campaign, from a new documentary about Anthony Weiner, co-director Elyse Steinberg said, “There was no footage that was taken out.” That, presumably, is an overstatement, as the filmmakers were working with 400 hours of raw footage.

Donald Trump went to church today: “When the collection plate was passed, Mr. Trump tossed in money; two crisp $50 bills peeked out from under a handful of singles minutes later.” The sermon was on the concept of humility. “I have more humility than people think,” he told reporters afterwards.

According to a police report released Saturday, Dane Gallion, the man suspected of shooting a stranger at a 13 Hours screening in Renton, Washington, was carrying a firearm because he was afraid of mass shootings. He also gave police three different, contradictory accounts of how the accidental shooting happened.

On Sunday, the Islamic State released a new, 17-minute video threatening to attack the United Kingdom and other “coalition” countries. In it, nine men, thought to be those who carried out the November Paris attacks, are seen executing prisoners in ISIS-controlled territory in the Middle East.

In a story that is quite the Escape from Alcatraz tale (sans swimming), a group of three inmates escaped from a maximum-security jail in Southern California on Friday, and now authorities say they are probably armed.

Donald Trump is either continuing his campaign for Racist in Chief, and he’s only getting more adept at it—or, he’s got really terrible eyesight.

One year ago, Kristin Cavallari began writing a book about “really just everything” in her life. That book has yet to be published.

A group of 16 young women in South Africa have been awarded scholarships by their mayor for remaining virgin in an effort to push other young people to be “pure and focus on school.”

Presidential candidate Donald Trump may look like this cat, but his spokesperson Katrina Pierson simply cannot stop referring to people as though they are dogs.

Two years ago to the day, New York Times Magazine put Hillary Clinton on its cover in the form of a gnarled, grinning orb of flesh. It is, objectively, the best magazine cover.

Two enormous heists in Wisconsin this week have resulted in the tragic loss of thousands of dollars worth of cheese. One amounted to $70,000, the other for $90,000. That’s a lot of cheddar! Actually, it was parmesan.

A total of 19 people died in weather-related incidents this weekend, after an enormous blizzard swept across the eastern half of the U.S.

“Take over the world, world domination...rich, powerful, that sort of stuff,” said 18-year-old Ted Cruz, when asked what he wanted to do with his life.

What does Kristin Cavallari think of snow, in general?

Back in 2012, Donald Trump spokesperson and sentient ammunition display Katrina Pierson went on Twitter and publicly lamented what she called a lack of “pure breeds” in the U.S. presidential race.

Nothing can stop Donald Trump, according to Donald Trump—not even cold-blooded murder.