Your Guide to the Derecho, the Storm That Might Destroy New York City Tonight

Max Read · 07/26/12 05:15PM

Do you like New York City? Or, really, anywhere between Ohio and Connecticut? Because, haha, it might not exist tomorrow. There's a "potential for a widespread damaging wind event/derecho" tonight — and risk of tornadoes around New York City. But what even is a "derecho"? And how can you protect yourself from it?

The Problem(s) With Crossfit

Hamilton Nolan · 07/26/12 03:30PM

First of all let me just say that Crossfit is great. It's great! Crossfit will get your ass in shape. There's no question about it. I certainly am not going to say anything that would make thousands of people in "WODKILLA" t-shirts unduly angry. So it must be said, right up front: Crossfit is a very, very good workout thing.

Today's Song: Fiona Apple 'Every Single Night (LOL Boys Edit)'

Rich Juzwiak · 07/26/12 03:05PM

Internet-producing partners LOL Boys have never recorded in the same room — they pass tracks back and forth online from their respective locations of Montreal and Los Angeles. Earlier this week, they released an excellent mix (via Fader) of their revisions of recent (and some not so recent) songs by the likes of Kanye West, Lil Wayne, Avicii and Carly Rae Jepsen. They've converted these tracks into woozy, pulsating dog-day summer jams. We got our hands on the original versions of what went into the mix, and are sharing one of the most unlikely remixes: a clattering, pumped-up rerub of Fiona Apple's recent "Every Single Night." The setting has her sounding even more unsettled than usual.

This Guy Punches That Guy, That Guy Punches The Other Guy, And, Wow, This Street Brawl Is Mesmerizing

A.J. Daulerio · 07/26/12 02:50PM

America's summer of ultra-violence continues: This time it's in "Downtown" New York City, where six guys of varying sizes and different ethnicities haymaker and uppercut each other like real drunk men used to do right before they got tossed through saloon doors. It looks accidentally choreographed, but all those punches to faces sound real. The YouTube poster tells us nothing and there are no exclamatory comments below the post so we're left to wonder what got them all so angry on such a lovely July evening. Someone should help these guys organize a club no one's ever allowed to talk about just so they could do this again and again.

Dejected Vampire Boy Just Packed His Bags And Left Kristen Stewart Due to Her Human Flaws, Mag Says

A.J. Daulerio · 07/26/12 01:50PM

So it appears that this was just too much for Robert Pattinson to take as People claims he's "heartbroken and angry" after Kristen Stewart's foolish tryst with the married man who directed Snow White and The Seven Huntsmen. People even quotes one of those phantoms "close to the situation" and the news is dire: "I'm not sure they'll be able to recover from this, " they told the mag. Somebody make somebody a mix tape before true love chokes and dies.