Maria Louise Del Rosario's ass became an overnight sensation after she proudly showed off her anus tattoos at the 17th Annual South Florida Tattoo Expo — a spectacle happily caught on camera by a crew from Florida's New Times Broward-Palm Beach.

It appears that Wal-Mart has turned around its two-year long sales slide that seemed, momentarily, to mark the end of America's love affair with big box bottom-feeding. Same-store sales have now risen for four straight quarters, overseas sales are growing, and the company is once again dominant enough to be considered the leading indicator of the financial health of you, the consumer. So how are you doing out there? Poorly.

While hiking in Wyoming recently, Coloradan Lexi De Forest attempted to jump a trench and failed — miserably. She twisted her ankle — literally — and couldn't move.

In the late '90s and early '00s, Limp Bizkit was a force to be reckoned with in the nu-metal arena.

While leaving her hotel in Bucharest, Romania, Lady Gaga was rushed by an overzealous fan ostensibly looking to get the singer's autograph.

Hey ladies! Any of you out there looking to meet an aware, available guy? You're in luck! This young gentleman is looking to share some pavement space (and maybe a tent) at protest in favor of transparency activist Julian Assange. He'll be at the Ecuadorian embassy all weekend, protesting the British government's attempt to extradite Assange to Sweden on charges of sexual assault — and what better place to meet someone than a rally in support of an accused rapist?

The NYPD's "stop and frisk" program is essentially a program in which black people are stopped and frisked due to their display of criminal risk factors, like being nonwhite. A shocking new poll finds that black people tend to believe there's something wrong with the program.

If your toilet was made by American Standard, Crane, Kohler, Eljer, Mansfield, St. Thomas or Gerber between 1997 and 2008, there's at least some chance it could randomly explode and cause "laceration injuries." So far at least 304 toilets have burst, resulting in 14 reported injuries.

Twitter is promising to "deliver a consistent Twitter experience," which means it will soon be a lot more like Facebook.

The Family Research Council, which was the target of a shooting attack earlier this week, issued an remarkably hypocritical statement today that placed some blame for the shooting on the Southern Poverty Law Center. The Council's president, Tony Perkins, said the shooting was made possible by the SPLC's criticism of the FRC.

World's fittest man Paul Ryan is in a bit of ideological trouble today after it was revealed that the congressman lied about requesting a stimulus package. Just yesterday Ryan told ABC's Cincinatti affiliate:

Earlier today, Mitt Romney made a big deal out of telling everyone that he's, "never paid less than 13 percent" in taxes. And, of course, he still won't provide his tax returns, so we'll just have to trust him, okay?

Both CNN and Time have reinstated Fareed Zakaria after determining his plagiarism was an "isolated incident."

Sorry to have to ruin your Halloween plans, but starting in September, eBay will no longer allow the sale of hexes, spells, magic potions, curses, prayers, healing sessions, or any of the other awesome stuff the world's friendly witches and warlocks provide.

Earlier today, the patron saint of unique storage space Lauren Conrad ripped apart some Lemony Snicket books with an X-Acto knife and advised others to do the same.

To paraphrase Sam Elliott, sometimes you see the bear, and sometimes the bear is hiding behind a moose.

Everybody's going to be crying when Oprah's new interview with Rihanna airs later this week. Rihanna's going to be crying. Oprah's going to be crying. The balmy Barbados breeze is going to be crying. We're going to be crying.

Avid Tamagatchi and fine-toothed comb collector Donald Trump knows a thing or two about the word "loser." Namely, Donald Trump knows when it can best be used to describe a person, place, business, television show, or thing.

In the most incredible case yet of Breaking Bad coming to life, the Tuscaloosa County Sheriff's Office has turned to the public for help in tracking down a meth cooker named Walter White.

The student editorial staff of the University of Georgia's Red & Black newspaper resigned Wednesday after receiving a draft of a completely insane memo on behalf of a member of the paper's Board of Directors.