The unbearable lightness of being? The inescapable inevitability of death? The banality of evil? Hell is other people?
Two Pathmark employees were shot and killed early this morning in Old Bridge, New Jersey, by a disgruntled coworker who then took his own life, the township's mayor said.
Sherman Hemsley, who died five weeks ago, still hasn't been buried because of a conflict involving his will. The Jeffersons star's will, which was signed just six weeks before his death, left his estate, estimated at $50,000, to his longtime partner and manager, Flora Enchinton. But before Enchinton could claim it, a man named Richard Thornton appeared from nowhere (or Philadelphia, if you want to be exact), claiming to be Hemsley's long lost brother. Throrton says Hemsley's will might not be real, and he's contesting it. But Enchinton says she knew and lived with Hemsley for more than 20 years, and he never once mentioned a brother. So they're fighting over the $50,000.
In a largely incoherent speech, Clint Eastwood "maybe possibly" praised Mitt Romney, but mostly he argued with an empty stool, which was supposed to be Obama. It was... awkward. To Clint's credit, he didn't seem to care about staying on script, if he ever had one. He didn't exactly offer a ringing endorsement of Romney, either; after talking to imaginary Obama (which, again, was an empty stool next to him), Eastwood turned to the crowd and said, "Maybe, possibly it's time for someone else to come along and solve the problem." Maybe! Possibly! He's just not sure, but then again, poor Clint didn't seem sure of a whole lot up there.
Obama critic and former Navy SEAL Matt Bissonnette might be in a bit of trouble with his old bosses for writing No Easy Day, which includes a detailed account of the bin Laden killing. According Jeh Johnson, the general counsel of the Defense Department, Bissonette signed non-disclosure agrements with the Navy in 2007 that said he could "never divulge" classified information, which, apparently includes writing books about top secret missions. Johnson said the Pentagon is looking into "all remedies legally available to us."
Prepare yourself for a yarn from the high seas that's so exciting and dangerous it makes Jaws look like fucking Babe. This maritime drama stars none other than Simon Cowell, a British man known mostly for being mean to amateur singers on musical game shows. The setting: Cowell's yacht off the coast of St. Tropez. Are you ready for this epic story of unparalleled "heroism," which comes direct to you from The Hollywood Reporter? You better be, because there's no going back now.
Remember the "There's an app for that commercial?" Well, that's still mostly true, I guess, unless, say, you wanted instant updates for the number of people killed by U.S. drones. Earlier this week, Apple rejected NYU student Josh Begley's "Drone+" app, which keeps track of drone strikes, including the approximate location and number of people killed. There was even an option for push notifications.
Ann Curry may have freaked out the Today show crew by wanting to talk about knives constantly and holding her birthday party in a graveyard and distracting Al Roker from the weather every morning by asking him, stonefaced, "Do you ever wonder what it feels like to die?"—but at least she wasn't a huge giant, stomping all over the place, being big in everyone's way all the time, oh BROTHER.
Imagine, if you will, the following scene tonight, during Mitt Romney's address to the Republican National Convention: the lights go out. The ominous sound of bells rings through the convention center. A spotlight appears in the center of the stage, where a puff of smoke barely conceals the sudden appearance of a single, silhouetted figure. On the floor, convention goers strain their necks, stand up, shading their eyes — is it? — can it be? Onstage, Romney is nodding his head to a barely perceptible drumbeat.
At 20-years-old, Sky Ferreira has been rebooted more times than a superhero. She's been dance pop, she's worked with Ryan Tedder, she's done an neo-alternachick thing, she's had her debut album delayed and delayed. It still hasn't arrived — "Everything Is Embarrassing" is supposed to be on her second EP, Ghost, (after last year's As If!), which is set for an October release. Nothing about it screams commercial smash, which is both reassuring (she seems committed to the art of pop) and somewhat confusing given how invested Capitol seems to be in making her a star. Whatever. Max Read and I were talking earlier today about whom exactly this song is for. All I could muster was people who are into chillwave who also like a Britney song (probably "Toxic") and maybe once contemplated buying a Stevie B 12".
Is there anything millenials can't ruin? Harvard University used to be a fairly well-respected Boston-area school. But now that they've been letting millenials in? "Harvard College's disciplinary board is investigating nearly half of the 279 students who enrolled in Government 1310: "Introduction to Congress" last spring for allegedly plagiarizing answers or inappropriately collaborating on the class' final take-home exam."
A couple in Devon, England found something way more (or, arguably, slightly less) valuable than a Kennedy half-dollar while poking around under their living room sofa recently: a 33-ft deep medieval well, filled with old peasant weapons and, most likely, magic and a passageway to times unknown.
With the right pick-ups (and Hipster Runoff placement), Brooklyn's TEEN could be equally loved and loathed. The Brooklyn-based band consists of four very cute girls who play messily — the musical equivalent of unkempt beauty. They remind me of Shaggs crossed with the Carrie Nations (after the principal hit them up with a couple of caps of acid), pumping out psychedelia caked in reverb and effects. Instead of being pretty at its core (a la shoegaze) TEEN's music is sometimes flat, sometimes meandering and often lacking in choruses and harmonies. Too structured to be deemed atmospheric and too reliant on heavy texture to be mistaken for pop, TEEN's music would infuriate if it didn't routinely soothe. But I predict that a bunch of girls not acting musically ladylike (in often the gentlest way possible) will piss people off anyway. Good.
Rap mogul Chris Lighty, the much-beloved manager of artists like Diddy, 50 Cent, and Mariah Carey, died this morning in New York City from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head, according to police. Lighty, who had founded the Violator record label and management company, was reportedly in the middle of an argument with his estranged wife, Veronica, who filed for divorce last year. Police say Lighty walked out of his Bronx apartment and, moments later, a gunshot was heard. Lighty was found dead with a handgun sitting next to him.
