Jay Penske, the racing scion and media mogul who likes to employ Hollywood shut-in Nikki Finke when he's not busy (allegedly!) assaulting and urinating on strange women in public, has purchased Hollywood's oldest and most storied trade rag. Let the unceasing drama begin!

A woman running for city council in the northwestern Brazilian town of Itacoatiara was arrested on Sunday — election day — for allegedly distributing packets of cocaine to residents who promised to vote for her.

David Siegel is the founder and CEO of Westgate Resorts, a huge national timeshare company and one of the largest resort developers in the world. In 2007 he was a billionaire, although he may be only a hundred-millionaire now. He and his wife Jackie were the subjects of the recent documentary "The Queen of Versailles," about their ongoing quest to build the largest house in America, a 90,000 square foot monument to excess. And yesterday, David Siegel sent an email to all of his thousands of employees, in which he—in a veiled way—insinuated that they would be fired of Barack Obama is reelected.

Want some pep in your dubstep? Just when you thought you couldn't love the genre more, Taylor Swift takes it on.

Happy Birthday Bo Obama! As a Libra, you're balanced, charming and romantic. Also gullible, so watch out for that Sasha.

After Peter Slipper, a key ally to Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard, resigned over crude, sexist text messages sent to a staffer, Australian opposition leader Tony Abbott was quick to tie Slipper's sexism to Gillard: "Every day the Prime Minister stands in this Parliament to defend this Speaker," Abbott said, "will be another day of shame for this Parliament; another day of shame for a Government which should already have died of shame." Gillard was not, as they say, having any of this, and dropped an angry, blistering speech right to Abbott's face. "If he wants to know what misogyny looks like in modern Australia," she said, "he doesn't need a motion in the house of Representatives, he needs a mirror." (Do people still say "oh, SNAP"? Do they say "sick burn"?) Parliamentary politics is so awesome. [via The Telegraph]

Pizza Hut is offering one lucky pizza lover free pizza for life in exchange for one tiny favor: That they embarrass themselves on live television before the President of the United States and millions of their fellow Americans at next week's presidential debate.

Boy, NBC must really dislike Community fans. What other logical explanation could there be for the way the Peacock Network keeps messing with them?

Jerry Sandusky, the former Penn State football coach whose repeated child sexual assault was ignored or covered up by multiple Penn State officials, was sentenced to 30-60 years in prison today.

It's been nearly a week since the first presidential debate, but the Obama campaign hopes Mitt Romney's Big Bird gaffe is still strong enough in the minds of voters that an ad lampooning the GOP nominee's vow to "crack down on Sesame Street" will slow down the post-debate momentum evident in the latest Pew Research poll.

Lincoln, the auto company whose average customer is the same age as Abraham Lincoln, has a problem: they're rolling out a hot new car, and they would like to sell it to some people who may not be about to die. Where is the more youthful, affluent audience for this stupid car? If you said "probably buying a BMW," you are far too honest to ever be a chief marketing officer.

An elderly couple told police in the English town of Bedford they unknowingly purchased a cannabis plant at a car boot sale, believing it to be a generic green shrub.

Dogshaming is all the rage, and Maymo the Lemon Beagle has a lot to feel bad about.

Andrew Sullivan wrote a very calm post about Obama's post-debate poll numbers. Just kidding. He's freaking out.

Having recovered from her onstage vomiting in Barcelona, Lady Gaga paid a visit to Julian Assange in his sanctuary at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London tonight. The two met because...well, it's not exactly clear why they met.

DEA agents made the largest meth bust in New York history Sunday when they seized 50 lbs of the drug valued at $800,000.

The first trailer for the much-anticipated James Deen-Lindsay Lohan bangfest The Canyons is finally here. It's about what you'd expect: lots of violence, sex, and sleazy-looking LA action. The film, written by Paris Hilton-defender Bret Easton Ellis and directed by Taxi Driver scribe Paul Schrader, lacks both a release date and, judging from the trailer, dialogue.

Paul Ryan's handlers abruptly ended an interview with Flint, Michigan's ABC12 today after the reporter attempted to connect Ryan's proposed tax cuts to his plan to lower gun-related violence. To be fair, the tax question was unrelated, but Ryan's response was a bit childish.

A three-year-old boy and his brother-in-law playing wiffle ball for all of one second.

In just a few short years we've been able to watch little Justin Bieber grow from boy to man to ... Phish head? It seems on his current tour, the Canadian wünderkind has been playing parts of three different Phish songs: "Sand," "First Tube" and "Divided Sky."