At long last, men will be allowed to compete on the upcoming cycle of Top Model. Society continues to progress.

It was like being "trapped in a nightmare," says 61-year-old Colin Farmer, a blind stroke victim from Chorley in Lancashire, of his recent run-in with police that ended with him being tased and cuffed for no apparent reason.

In 1996, cycling champion Lance Armstrong was diagnosed with cancer. By 1999, he had recovered and made a miraculous return to win the Tour de France. Five years later, the LIVESTRONG charity, which battles cancer, started distributing yellow rubber bracelets emblazoned with "LIVESTRONG" in honor of Armstrong's courage and tenacity. And now, eight long years later, it's time to cut that dirty motherfucking bracelet off your wrist and throw it into the trash.

Late-night prankster Jimmy Kimmel wanted to see just how many people who claim to watch the debate actually watch the debate, so he sent a staff member to Hollywood Boulevard yesterday afternoon — several hours before the second presidential debate aired — to ask passers-by who won the debate.

During last night's debate, a question was raised by an attendee concerning each candidates track record on equality for women in the workplace.

A Jacksonville, Florida couple just got into some serious drama over Alanis Morissette's music: Allen Casey, 24, hit his 33-year-old boyfriend, Todd Fletcher, after Fletcher allegedly refused to listen to anything but the Canadian chanteuse. Only listening to Alanis Morissettte really takes remembering the 90's to a whole new level. And c'mon, how did Tori Amos not make the playlist at least once?

Every child has wished at one point or another that he or she would walk into school and there would be banners announcing that all homework had been cancelled forever. Of course, God would never answer the prayers of little American boys and girls — but he has heard the cries of French schoolchildren, and their wish is now, almost, a reality.

There's nothing worse than owning a BlackBerry in 2012. At least that's the picture The New York Times painted today with its portrait of grief, "The BlackBerry as Black Sheep." We're not all as fortunate as one of the article's subjects, Nick Mindel, who is now making the upgrade to an iPhone 5. BlackBerry owners need some ground rules if they're going to keep these dreaded things around. This is the BBMB—the BBM bible.

The Presidential debate is already underway in Long Island, but news is trickling in via CNN that Mitt underwent intense training—like how to sit on a barstool. Mitt is, of course, a Mormon, so his experience in bars is limited. Therefore, his bar stool training does make sense—he wouldn't want to look robotic or unnatural, after all.

A 4.0 magnitude quake hit Maine tonight at about 7:00. Maine families were just welcoming home their fishermen dads when a quake erupted about 3 miles west of Hollis Center, Maine. Some Bostoners doling out bread bowls at Faneuil Hall might have been shaken and could've spilled spilled some soup on their counters. Some kid probably said that his bed moving back and forth was "wicked awesome," and other smaller kids were probably "wicked scared."

For what seems like the second time in the last thirteen days, Barack Obama and Mitt Romney will stride on stage tonight and pretend, for a few moments, to not be sickened by one another's presence. Can Obama "recover" from his "poor performance" in the last debate? Can Romney convince "swing voters" that he is "more than a Mormon robot?" The estimable Mobutu Sese Seko and I will be live blogging this debate in order to, uh, help answer these questions, and to perform other vital unspecified pundit services.

Watching Lady Gaga get car jacked gives us a bit of real satisfaction. She's been slacking off lately and at this point, we seriously would have to consider not giving her a spot at VH1's Divas. The video for Die Antwoord's "Fatty Boom Boom" may give her the kick in the pants she needs to get back on track.

Reddit has been rocked by our expose of its most powerful creep, Texas programmer Michael Brutsch aka Violentacrez. Brutsch has been defending himself on Reddit, and is even going to be interviewed by CNN. But Reddit's staff has been surprisingly quiet. Their silence has raised some eyebrows among Reddit's community of volunteer moderators, who are feeling under fire and reeling from the loss of an influential member. This evening, Reddit CEO Yishan Wong finally weighed in on the Violentacrez scandal, saying that Reddit will not ban 'distasteful' content, while condemning Reddit moderators' widespread ban on Gawker links.

Earlier this week, the Mongolian government toppled and removed the last remaining bronze statue of communist leader Vladimir Lenin from Ulan-Bator, the country's capital city.

Fox Nation, the delicate wordsmiths behind delicious turns of phrase like "Hip Hop BBQ," have a new creation under their belts (said belts are probably holding up Glenn Beck jeans): The conservative millennial Mark Twains have now proclaimed that Mitt Romney "smoked" Barack Obama in the coin toss for tonight's debate.

Long-shot third party presidential candidate Jill Stein and her Green Party ticket-mate Cheri Honkala were arrested a short while ago outside Hofstra University while attempting to enter the presidential debate hall without the proper credentials.

This (extremely patient) dog's owner has way too much time on their hands — literally — and God bless them for it, otherwise this video would never have been made and the world would have been that much poorer for it.

The concept of Matmos' The Ganzfeld EP, on which "Very Large Green Triangles" appears, is complicated. This is from its press release:

A controversial sign posted on Highway 21 near Redgranite, Wisconsin, has drivers wondering if they made a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in the past.

Alexis Wright has been accused of running a prostitution ring out of her Zumba studio in the vacation town of Kennebunk, Maine. But she also made dozens, if not hundreds, of porn videos — including some that may have featured clients — and we've got a bunch of them right here. And they're very not safe for work. Consider yourself warned.