Feelin' fancy? Ruin a child's Halloween by giving him d'Anjou Pear and Cinnamon hard candies instead of mini Snickers.

The music world was thrown into upheaval yesterday at news that singer-songwriter-British-Army-captain James Blunt had quit the business and would no longer be performing that one song of his that was everywhere a few years ago.

Over Eminem's "Cleaning Out My Closet" beat, the 21-year-old Angel Haze tells us, "This might get a little personal, or a lot actually..." She then proceeds to recount years of sexual abuse in detail like I've never heard in a hip-hop song. She talks explicitly about being raped at 7 and then goes on and on ("See, it was weird because I felt like I was losing my mind and then it happened like it happened like a million of times"). Her clarity is riveting, her insight on her abuse's effects is harrowing. At the end of the track, she runs down reasons for revealing what she just did, which silences any question of whether this is self-exploitation for the sake of grabbing attention (even if it stopped at the 3-minute mark, I wouldn't interpret it as such, but you know how people are).

The clip above comes from How's Your News: Election 2012, the latest film from this traveling group of people with disabilities who report on various events. We posted about the movie last week, but this scene bears its own examination as it is a literal illustration of the way that people with disabilities are ignored in this country, especially by grandstanding politicians. It's particularly important for showing the resulting frustration: Jeremy Vest (who has Williams Syndrome) actually calls out to Bachmann, "What's your problem?"

In a plotline so dark not even Scrubs would touch it—and Scrubs was not afraid to go dark; it had comedy and heart—a student nurse has been indicted for involuntary manslaughter for killing a patient by accidentally injecting her with coffee instead of IV fluid.

First Ronald Jenkees returns with a brand new jam, and now Drunk Jeff Goldblum is back with a new drunk sales pitch.

To close a prison is a good thing, assuming that the prison is being closed for lack of prisoners to fill it, because prison is a horrific (if sometimes necessary) institution, and the intelligent minimization of the number of our fellow citizens who have to be locked in prison is an intrinsic good. So why are people so opposed to closing down a prison in their own community?

Customers on the mailing list for fast-casual franchise Hale and Hearty received an email full of promises this morning.

One of the many little thrills of being a part of the Obama campaign four years ago was a deep and abiding sense that, finally, a political leader had come along who could live up to our highest aspirations. Yes, Obama was cool and played basketball and was conversant in ironical youth culture, but when it came down to it, he was overwhelmingly serious. The other guys were hauling unlicensed plumbers onstage and suspending their campaign at the drop of a hat, but Obama kept his eyes on the prize and played the grown-up. Now he's talking about "Romnesia."

Angelina Jolie's upcoming film Maleficent is quickly turning out to be just another home movie featuring the Jolie-Pitt kids, as fan favorites Zahara, 7, and Pax, 8, have now been added to the bill.

Yeah, yeah, the bayonets thing: for true political connoisseurs the most important moment of last night's presidential debate was the return of Creepy Josh Romney, our favorite breakout star from the second presidential debate.

Employees at the Cineworld cinema in Nottingham claim a "technical error" caused Paranormal Activity 4 to be screened accidentally to a theater full of formerly happy-go-lucky kids who were there to watch the third Madagascar film.

Just over four years to the day since he suddenly stopped posting his massively popular trance-inducing jams to YouTube, the King of Soundgasms Ronald Jenkees is back with a brand new track that was well worth the wait.

This new lawsuit alleging minimum wage violations by Wal-Mart means Wal-Mart has more labor trouble than ever. Good.

An email arrived in the Gawker inbox from a reader named John H. who was deeply concerned — disturbed, even — by what's become of Axl Rose, the puzzling and frustrating lead singer of Guns N' Roses, the band most Americans between 30 and 45 still consider rock's greatest tragedy due to their unwillingness to reunite properly. John, thankfully, appears to have been less than engaged with G N 'R's many trials and transmutations after the Use Your Illusion albums (circa 1991), so he's in the darkest corner of a darkened room when it comes to W. Axl Rose:

Only in Florida can a man show his testicles to the cops to get out of being arrested for public lewdness.

It appears that the days of the $2.25 subway ride will soon be coming to an end, a victim of the vicissitudes of progress. As we gaze grimly into the maw of the $2.50 subway ride, let us bow our heads, and elegize:

Last year, Edwards Landing Lights' Halloween Light Show played second synchronized fiddle to Kevin Judd's ultra-viral "Party Rock Anthem"-themed display.

How do you make music about war? Tchaikovsky asked orchestras to drag cannons along with them — to reproduce the actual sounds of battle. There aren't any cannons on Desert Strike, producer Fatima Al Qadiri's new EP — one track opens with a gunshot — but the album is just as interested in the experience of war than the 1812 Overture was. It just borrows heavily from a different, though no less relevant, sonic palette: video games and popular music.

Did you know that Lindsay Lohan was more anxious about tonight's debate than either Romney or Obama? It's true.