Jimmy Kimmel is in Brooklyn this week. A sweeps stunt that turned out to be timed perfectly. On last night's show he decided to enter the borough's long-standing hipster on Hasid war.

Steven Tyler and those other guys from Aerosmith made an appearance on The Today Show this morning to promote their new album Music From Another Dimension. Within the same three minutes, Tyler managed to forget which morning show he was actually on, shouting "Good morning, America!" and then addressed the crowd as "my little fucks" while still on-air. Today-as Al Roker noted more than once-was the first time that Aerosmith had ever appeared on a morning TV show.

So here I am, perched in a Dunkin Donuts, just north of the Dark Zone in NYC, blogging for as long as my mifi hangs in, with 53 minutes left on my laptop.

This frivolous weather thing the hippies keep harping about just devastated the biggest, most densely populated, city in the country. The city that never sleeps shut down completely. The structural damage and loss in revenue are unprecedented. Even before Sandy, our weather-related fatalities far exceed the Americans who've died from terrorist attacks. Since September 11, 2001 there have been roughly 30 Americans killed by terrorism (depending on how you do the numbers). Meanwhile, extreme weather deaths in the same time period have totaled 6,408 as of 2011, according to the National Weather Service.

Thankfully, New York's most precious resident, Mitik, survived Hurricane Sandy unscathed. But now the real trouble begins.

Redheads who stay out of the sun will probably get skin cancer anyhow. I knew we'd have to pay for being so attractive.

Since Sandy flushed New York City's subway system like a filthy urinal in the Times Square T.G.I. Fridays there has been much anxiety over the fate of our city's prodigious subway rats. Would New York streets now be overrun by disease-ridden rats driven from their subterranean lairs? No, says a guy whose singular passion is hunting and killing New York City rats.

Nate Silver, the famed statistician behind the FiveThirtyEight election forecast blog at the New York Times, is wrong. And gay. At least according to the more virulent elements of right-wing media. That he's wrong is only confirmed by his gayness, just as surely as his gayness is the source of his wrongness. Nate Silver is a tautology of being queer as hell about everything.

No more gorging yourselves on free information like vulgar little savages: The New York Times has announced it will be reinstating its paywall later today.

I'm bringing the sound of real music back…I think Adele does a great job - they are catchy pop songs, but it's real music and there are instruments. I want to bring a lot of that back.

"Tripping" on illegal hallucinatory "Las Drogas" is back in a major way, party people. The evidence: Steve Jobs used to do it, and so did 79 year-old Oliver Sacks, and so did some guy on a TV show set in the 1960s. Also, somebody on Fringe.

Trend alert! The trend is: waiting in line. This is what we do now in New York City. Want to get to Manhattan from Brooklyn? Wait in line! Want to get gas? Wait in line! Want to buy an iPad Mini? Well, fuck off, first of all, but then, wait in line. We've crowd-sourced information on most of the area's major lines, and present them here to you in a handy guide format. We'll update as the day goes on; if you have information email us at tips@gawker.com.

Great news if you love storms, you bastard: weather models are predicting that a second nor'easter will sweep up the East Coast just in time for Election Day next week.

New York City is currently experiencing a crippling gas shortage. The entire New York City/New Jersey region has twelve gallons of gas, post-Sandy. (Estimation.) Hours-long lines at the pumps have exploded in brawls and even gun-waving. How bad is it, really? We want to hear your worst horror stories of waiting at the pump, siphoning gas from parked cars, or bartering your cat for fuel. Please email them to: Tips@gawker.com

If you are waiting in line outside of a motherfucking Apple store in Manhattan to buy an iPad Mini right now, it's time to reevaluate your priorities in life.

I don't mean to sound glib, but are we electing someone to know the top hip hop songs - or to get the job done?

In Hurricane Sandy's deadly wake, New York City lost its power. It lost its hot water. It lost businesses, and homes, and dreams. But there is one thing that no devastating natural disaster can take away from us: the hateful rantings of tabloid sexpot Andrea Peyser.

NASA's Earth Observatory has published some great before-and-after images of the tri-state area - the top taken at 2:14 a.m. on August 31; the bottom at 2:52 a.m. yesterday, November 1. From Earth Observatory:

"One Way Around the Traffic Muddle in Brooklyn: Riding a Bicycle." Now you know.

Taylor Swift, god's beacon of happiness and feeling, had a very bad night. A night so bad that it just may end up on her next album. This is worse than Kanye-interruption-gate: Taylor Swift didn't win any awards at this year's Country Music Awards.