Brian Williams thinks Donald Trump has "driven well past the last exit to relevance." He thinks he is "irresponsible." Brian Williams was not amused by Donald Trump's unraveled tweeting.

Stock market yesterday: up 133. This morning: down almost 200. This tells us Wall Street is horrible at predictions.

New Hampshire added two women to its congressional delegation last night, electing Democrats Ann McLane Kuster and Carol Shea-Porter to represent the Granite State in the House.

Though they've been American citizens since 1917, residents of the island of Puerto Rico aren't currently allowed to vote in American elections.

Diane Sawyer was definitely probably drunk tonight during ABC's election coverage. Would you agree? Not convinced yet? She slurred every other word, rambled about the lack of music, and asked a correspondent if the exclamation point in the Obama slogan represented the direction he truly wanted to go with his presidency. What more proof do you need?

Did you know President Obama was going to win last night? If you read Nate Silver, the New York Times political blogger and statistical geek, you did. If you don't read Silver, though, you're probably wondering who the hell he is and why everyone is talking about him. Don't worry. We're here to help.

Here's page one of this morning's New York Times. You might be able to guess the main story.

Mitt Romney's concession speech was surprisingly gracious, at least compared to other parts of his campaign, but, like the man himself, it was also incredibly boring. He covered all the standard points: he began by congratulating the Obamas (and this time, thankfully, there was no booing), and then thanked Paul Ryan, his wife Ann ("She would have been a wonderful first lady," which, no, but still a sweet gesture), his creepy sons, and his campaign. Teachers, professors, rabbis, pastors and parents all got shout outs as did, of course, "job creators." And he ended it with: "I believe in America. I believe in the people of America." He forgot to add, "Except for 47% of them. Those people, I really don't believe in at all."

While most of us are celebrating Mitt Romney's defeat in the streets by legally smoking marijuana and gay-marrying randomly-chosen passers-by, not everyone is quite so happy. And thanks to Twitter, we know about it. Vibrating bologna loaf Donald Trump, mistakenly believing that Romney won the popular vote, is calling for "revolution," — revolution! — while former SNL actress Victoria Jackson is sobbing and telling Christians that they "disgust" her. We've saved all of their most embarrassing (some already deleted) Tweets here:

Nothing is unfucked. It's the same good guy versus the same bad guys, with the same set of massive social and economic problems, and no evident way out. So congratulations, America, you won four years of vicious trench warfare.

Maine and Maryland made history tonight by becoming the first states to legalize same-sex marriage by popular votes.

Janna Ryan's husband Paul didn't get the big promotion he was after last night, and boy did it show on her face; she looked like the most miserable person in the world when she went up to hug Ann and Mitt on stage after Romney conceded the race. More »

It's true: President Obama has been reelected, winning both the electoral college and maybe the popular vote, and destroying the hopes of millions and millions of rabid conservative Americans in the span of a few hours. Over the next several days and years and months everyone is going to offer their complaints and arguments and suspicions about why Obama won and Mitt Romney lost. Many of those opinions will be wrong, and some of them will be right, but for now let's forget about them and celebrate.

After Fox News—like everyone else—called Ohio for Obama, Karl Rove challenged the decision on-air, causing what can only be described as a kernel panic. Fox News' decision desk, its institutional center of authority for making sound election calls, had issued its decision. And Fox News, in its capacity as a newsgathering operation, had called the election for Obama. But Karl Rove, Fox News' ideological paymaster, challenged the decision. So Megyn Kelly got out of her anchor chair, walked down the hall, and interrogated her own highly trained election analysts on Rove's behalf. You are actually watching what happens when reality intrudes on a dying fever-dream.

Toke 'em if you've got 'em: Mile High City NBC affiliate 9News has just announced that Colorado will pass Amendment 64, legalizing the recreational use and commercial sale of marijuana (up to 1 ounce) to residents over the age of 21.

While the talking heads over at Fox News would love to tell you that Romney's gonna come out on top in this election, their faces say otherwise. It's like they're all trying to hide a secret that everybody already knows.

Bad night to be an old white Republican man with a terrible understanding of science and rape: both Richard "Rape Pregnancies Are God's Gifts" Mourdock and Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin lost their races; Mourdock was defeated by Joe Donnelly in the Indiana Senate race, and Claire McCaskill easily beat Akin to retain her Missouri Senate spot.

2% of voters nationwide believe Romney would "favor the poor" as president. I'm just going to leave this here. [via]

The results aren't in yet, but it's becoming increasingly clear from the exit poll data and the glum mood on Fox News that Barack Obama is probably going to win re-election tonight. And the excuse-making from Red America has begun, and it basically comes down to: The Whites lost.

A man rooting around his medicine cabinet found one of his ex-girlfriend's old pregnancy tests. Because he was bored or felt like peeing on something, he took one of the tests, and much to his surprise, it came back positive. "Lol," he thought, probably. He told his friend about the ordeal, who then turned the humorous tale into a rage comic and posted it on Reddit.