Emerito Pujol, looking sad as all get-out in his mug shot, flashed a badge and walked right through the entrance to Epcot, one of the parks at a Disney World. He said he was an undercover officer and was looking for someone. When pressed, his story changed slightly: now he was "guarding someone important." Finally, a security guard checked his badge and noticed it read "American Federation of Police" and "Honorary Member." (The AFP is a nonprofit, not a law enforcement agency.)

13. Ground Truth
12. Washington and Back
11. Transition
10. Mask of Command
9. High Stakes
8. True Believers
7. Drawdown
6. Lines of Operation
5. Results, Boy
4. Still All In
3. Clear, Hold and Build
2. Screaming Eagles
1. Anaconda

BILL O'REILLY – "It's not a traditional America any more. And there are 50% of the voting public who want stuff. They want things. And who is going to give them things? President Obama…"

The knock on American politics is that we don't have a legitimate third party. Which isn't to say the Greens and Libertarians don't have some great ideas; it's just that the most they can hope for is to peel votes from the respective Big Two party with similar ideologies. But sometimes you want to throw your vote away, and you want to do it in an attention-grabbing manner. Here are three candidates who didn't win their races, but made a loud statement that the two guys ahead of them are awful.

Yesterday, Kenneth Branagh was knighted by the Queen of England for somehow making Thor not suck. No! Actually it was for his "services to drama and the community of Northern Ireland."

Before going on, I want everyone to locate and read Nothing to Envy, the best account yet of the lives of ordinary North Koreans. OK? Everyone done? The most striking scene in the book illustrated just how isolated the country is: North Koreans, in possession of an ancient mobile phone, huddled at an isolated spot on the northern border where one bar of reception would occasionally leak over from China.

Alex Myers is an Australian exchange student currently studying journalism at SUNY Oswego, part of New York's state university system. Last month he was given a class assignment to produce a profile on a public figure. He chose Oswego men's hockey coach Ed Gosek and began in the standard manner: he reached out to Gosek's colleagues in the sport.

Artisanal, small-batch Sriracha from Brooklyn. Because of course.

Some Americans are racist. We know this, though there's nothing quite like a black guy winning a national election to bring them out of the woodwork. The sheer volume of racist Tweets is disheartening, but can we learn anything from them?

Heh. Well played. The Daily News went with a lame acronym, while the Washington Post, which I don't think even wants to win the tabloid war anymore, chooses the stuffy "Citing affair, Petraeus steps down from CIA."

OK, fess up now. Which one of you started the Ashley-Judd-for-Senator rumor? I'm not mad, I just want to nip this one in the bud before to leads to dashed hopes and hurt feelings and Judd taking a year away from acting.

According to literary journals E! and Us Weekly, Selena Gomez dumped Justin Bieber last week. The two had dated for just about two years. In fact, as Us Weekly reminds us, their relationship started exactly two years ago this month in the world's most romantic restaurant.

In the July 13th edition of Klosterman's The Ethicist advice column for the New York Times, an anonymous reader wrote in seeking advice about an affair his wife was having with a "government executive" whose job "is seen worldwide as a demonstration of American leadership." The anonymous reader went on to praise the government executive as "gracious" and "absolutely the right person for the job." He then asked if he should acknowledge the affair or let it continue until the project succeeds. Sounds like the government executive could hold a position like, say, the director of the CIA, right? In other words, did Paula Broadwell's husband know about her affair with David Petraeus and then turn to, of all people, Chuck Klosterman for advice? Maybe!

After publishing 457 novels and winning 108 National Book Awards, Philip Roth is retiring.

Earlier today, news broke that David Petraeus was resigning because an affair he'd had with Paula Broadwell, the co-author of his biography, All In: The Education of General David Petraeus, a book title about which there are no easy jokes. According to the Wall Street Journal, it was an FBI investigation into the use of Petraeus's Gmail that brought the affair to public knowledge.

What a whacky week. We re-elected a president and survived a snowstorm, but now it's warm again? What's going on? Maybe it was just because you were all so happy that we were back, but you were feeling chatty this week. Just all of the emails: some were fun, some were sad, some were helpful, some were mad. You guess which email corresponds to which emotion.

According to the geography academics at Floating Sheep, the vast majority of racist tweets posted in the aftermath of President Obama's reelection came from Alabama, so it's of little surprise that a Dale County resident had few qualms about placing an Obama effigy on their front porch along with the sign "Pray 4 Assassin."

This afternoon a tipster forwarded us a Facebook post and link to a Google Doc, composed by a new mother, laying out some ground rules for the friends who will serve her.

Every year, millions of Americans forget what is Sexy.

Following Jared Loughner's January 2011 shooting rampage, which left six people dead, 13 wounded, and Congresswoman Gabby Giffords with a brain injury so bad she was forced to resign from office, Loughner was sentenced to 7 life terms, plus 140 years. But if there is a silver lining here, it's Giffords' husband Mark Kelly's call for gun-law sanity at Loughner's sentencing yesterday. Staring down his wife's attempted assassin, astronaut Mark Kelly called Loughner "cold-blooded" before launching into a righteous screed against America's absurdly lenient gun laws, and the craven politicians who cower behind the Second Amendment.