Last week, we asked you what to buy for those members of the "Millennial" generation who ironically hate everything. Remember? Sure you do. Well then: here are five good ideas. Buy them or not, whatever. Everything sucks.

Sloopy's owner Devin Contreras says his chihuahua broke out a few impromptu dance moves after spotting the family's leftover turkey on the kitchen counter.

These days, not everyone's tied to an office. But if you're working from the road, it doesn't mean you can't get as much done as you would if you were sitting at a desk. In this, the last of our Business Casual series written in conjunction with the join.me crew, we'll look at the mobile office tools that can help anyone whose work life involves airport security lines, rental car upgrades, and the endless search for Wi-Fi.

You know that bit of legal-sounding text that all your friends are sharing on Facebook? "I hereby declare that my copyright is attached to all of my personal details..." blah blah blah? Yeah: it's meaningless. We'll show you why, line by line.

Comedian Jose Barrientos is Hispanic and bilingual but his accent is purely American.

Lifetime premiered its Taylor/Burton biopic, Liz & Dick, last night. It was highly anticipated because Lindsay Lohan starred as Elizabeth Taylor and schadenfreude is the marijuana of the masses. So we all went on Twitter and giggled our way through it (not terrible enough, my ass). The film delivered precisely zero insight into the strange, twisted saga of the Hollywood royalty involved. They joke broke up and got back together a lot and she breathed heavily and threw things. Grant Bowler, who played Richard Burton, got most of the straightforwardly campy lines (he talked about the "ocean inside" Taylor), but Lohan's amusingly horrific acting made up for Christopher Monger's bland script.

What is the best way to prepare Thanksgiving leftovers? Cold, right out of the fridge? Warmed to scalding in the microwave? Standing in your kitchen naked? Lady Gaga goes with naked.

Earlier this year, Appalachian State University sociology professor Jammie Price was suspended for showing her (college, adult) class a documentary about porn, containing porn. She also had the temerity to suggest, in class, that college athletes get special privileges. I know; I know. You will be happy to learn that she appealed, and that a faculty committee largely vindicated her, saying in its report that her actions, for the most part, fell under academic freedom, and that she should not be punished.

The US Department of State has chosen hard-partying rocker Andrew W.K. to serve as Cultural Ambassador to the Middle East, inviting him to visit the island nation of Bahrain to promote — what else? — "partying and world peace."

There's a hidden curse to being a current or former top editor at the New York Times. Yes, you've held one of the most powerful positions in journalism. But who is going to edit you? Nobody, not very stringently, at least. So we find that when current or former NYT editors engage in writing for their paper, it often could have used a heavy round of editing, into the trashcan.

At the height of his pre-election anti-Obama hysteria, bloviating billionaire Donald Trump was reportedly approached by three of his kids and asked to tone down his risky rhetoric.

This video was tailor-made for Monday mornings.

At this point, we all know smoking is terrible for you. It causes lung cancer, heart disease, and various dental problems. There are, of course, some benefits (makes you look cool, aides concentration while night blogging, etc). But even if you're one of the remaining few heroic smokers, this should give you pause; a new study at King's London College London finds smoking will "rot" your brain.

After some controversial tweets earlier today, Chris Brown just deactivated his Twitter account.

This was the best Thanksgiving box office weekend ever, thanks to James Bond, Twilight, and drunk-faced James Spader.

Chris Brown makes it hard to forget about his past, doesn't he? Earlier today, the petulant and abusive R&B singer engaged in a Twitter battle with comedy writer Jenny Johnson. As you might expect, Brown was nothing but respectful, offering, among other things, to let Johnson suck his dick and to shit on her eye (at his mother's request, no less). Brown quickly deleted the tweets but not before Johnson retweeted them.

Our roundup of Black Friday arrests and violence sadly wasn't complete. A report from The Atlanta Journal-Constitution tells the story of an unidentified man who died after he was allegedly caught shoplifting two DVD players from a Walmart in Lithonia, Georgia.

Guy Fieri, better known as Mountain Dew in human form, has recently been trying to save his image in the wake of Pete Wells' damning New York Times review of his Times Square restaurant, Guy's American Kitchen & Bar.

This Fox News article called "The War On Men" can only be described by this GIF.

This November's foreign policy debate between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney left many Americans realizing that the two candidate's policies were pretty similar, regardless of their thoughts about bayonets. But no matter how alike their policies seemed to the average citizen, President Obama apparently wasn't okay with the thought of a Romney kill list or having the former Massachusetts governor having free rein over America's army of unmanned drones.