Jersey City rapper and Slaughterhouse founding member Joe Budden did not take kindly to a concertgoer's unkind tweets about his Thursday night concert in Oakland being "dead," so he instructed his security detail to escort the woman out.

Whitney Cummings' new E! talk show, Love You, Mean It, debuted last night and her first guest was Mindy Kaling. They gnawed the air at each other, swapped compliments and said "like" collectively over 40 times. I strung together all of the latter instances for the reel above. Many of us are guilty of this, myself included. Every time I catch myself doing this, I grind my teeth and one day soon I won't have any teeth and pronouncing a word like "like" will approach impossibility. I'm just saying, like, let's all be more aware of it.

In a move only slightly more subtle than the Roots' selection of Fishbone's "Lyin' Ass Bitch" to play in Michele Bachmann during a visit to Late Night With Jimmy Fallon last year, the White House served "White Turkey Chili" for Mitt Romney's lunch with Barack Obama today.

By 11:30 this morning, several dozen people wrapped in winter coats and wielding hand-drawn posters had assembled on the corner in front of the Wendy's on the Fulton Mall in downtown Brooklyn, across from the Modell's and the Bank of America, with the purpose of addressing that most fascinating question in labor relations: Can fast food workers ever be unionized? Here, in New York, today, a lot of fast food workers decided to skip the theory and proceed directly to the "Fuck you, pay me" phase of the process.

Earlier today, scofflaw Lindsay Lohan was arrested yet again for allegedly punching a woman at a Chelsea nightclub and causing "bruising and swelling" to her face.

Sext hustler Hunter Moore has announced plans to launch a new-and-improved site that publishes revenge-porn nudes with names, social-networking links, and home addresses. Along with this user-driven stalker map, the 26-year-old is also threatening to repost much of the old content from his previous site, Is Anyone Up, on HunterMoore.tv. That theoretically means the founder of Dream Water, Twilight star Kiowa Gordon—plus a whole assortment of unwitting Taco Bell employees, teachers, and college kids who thought they were in the clear—will once again be naked online.

What was United States Vice President Joseph Robinette Biden doing while his boss officially claimed victory over a vanquished opponent during the ancient mystical ceremony of "private lunch"? Big Joe Biden was at Costco looking for pies, that's what he was doing.

A Harvard student club that has been meeting stealthily for over a year to discuss matters of bondage and discipline is set to receive formal recognition form the university's Committee on Student Life according to The Crimson.

The New York Times really wants you to know that Chris Brown is a rapper. In fewer than 100 words of the original copy of John Ortved's tweet roundup "Chris Brown Signs Off," including the headline and picture caption, Brown is referred to as a "rapper" three times. Wrong. Chris Brown is not a rapper. Yes, he raps on occasion. Sometimes, he is specifically commissioned to do so. But he is also a dancer. And an actor. And, oh yeah, that thing on which he based his career in the first place: a singer.

You aren't in high school anymore, so the smart and hot thing is a total go. The "oops-I'm-handsome" nuclear physicist look works on anyone, and fake drugstore frames just aren't going to cut it. Warby Parker's reasonably-priced, stylish glasses and sunglasses will rescue you from looking painfully unhip, tragically doltish, and, frankly, a little boring.

Odds are, at some point in your life you will have to break bread with someone you don't like.

Macklemore & Lewis's smash underground ode to "Same Love" may have convinced voters in Washington to vote in favor of legalizing marriage equality, but in Michigan, the same song got a Detroit-area middle school teacher suspended for three days.

Mt. Vernon native Ashli Hall-Gay and her hypemom (thanks Joe!) Cindy take on every single person who's ever said anything mean about either of them.

Michael Canaii (pictured, on throne) is the father of a high school-aged daughter here in New York City. And when he heard rumors that his daughter was acting out in adolescent rebellion, he did what any good father would do: showed up at her high school "swinging a heavy chain with a padlock" while threatening to "fight anyone in his path," all while demanding, "Who's fucking my daughter?"

Remember the independent pro-wrestler from Indiana who got a face tattoo of the Romney-Ryan logo and then said he was "totally disappointed" by Romney's loss but had no regrets about the ink?

You may recall our old friend Hunter Moore, the 26-year-old insomniac who ran the much ballyhooed revenge-porn site, Is Anyone Up. Moore collected strangers' nudes and republished them without their permission, but with their names, hometowns, and links to their social networking accounts. Many people were very, very angry. Moore did not care.

A nightclub "spat" turned into third-degree assault charges for actress Lindsay Lohan early Thursday morning after she was arrested outside Chelsea's Avenue nightclub for allegedly striking a female patron.

On November 14, Jennifer Foster was visiting New York City from Arizona when she spotted NYPD officer Lawrence Deprimo giving a pair of new boots to a barefoot homeless man. The moment reminded her of a time when, as a young girl, she saw her father, a policeman in Phoenix, buy food for a homeless man.

Congratulations, person holding the ticket with 5-16-22-23-29, PB-6 on it! You just won the $550 million Powerball. That's right, you proved the naysayers wrong, and you're rich. But now what? As the haters will rush to remind you, winning the lottery is not always the best thing that could happen, but you'll prove them wrong. But first, how are you going to spend that half a billion and change? And if, for some reason, you didn't win tonight (impossible, I know), how will you spend your hard-earned fortune once your lucky numbers come up in a few months, which will definitely happen?

If you're wondering what Al Roker is doing tonight, here's your answer: he's out getting shitfaced.