The "rule number one of the web," according to Mashable, is "don't mess with the Oatmeal." Last week, Buzzfeed messed with the Oatmeal. Jack Stuef wrote a long post about the webcomic site, its creator Matt Inman, his background in shady SEO marketing, and his use of those same tactics in his comic business. In response, Inman posted an long, mostly handwritten response to his website, identifying one serious factual error and disputing several other contentions in the Buzzfeed piece. The internet was thrilled.

The owner of a Thai Noodle House in Austin has been on the receiving end of significant backlash since posting a Facebook status update expressing a lack of concern for the victims of the Sandy Hook shooting.

Warning: This of course contains spoilers of last night's Homeland Season 2 finale.

Do you ever find yourself perturbed by the dearth of big booty hos on popular morning news-and-healthy-snack-recipe programs? So does Matt Lauer, apparently.

Catalog is an experiment from the biz side of Gawker. (So to be clear, this post is not editorial). Today's contributor is Bureau of Trade, a digital authority in acquiring analog cultural objects.

The Tea Party Nation — organizers of the National Tea Party Convention and the only Tea Party-affiliated group presently labeled a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center — sent an email to members yesterday with its official response to last week's shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School.

When Adam Lanza shot dozens of people at Sandy Hook Elementary last Friday, he used a military-style Bushmaster .223 rifle. As America debates whether such weapons even have a place in our society, Bushmaster is running a hilarious ad campaign.

What a fun, sexy time to be a baby.

Ron Cohen is the CEO of Sig Sauer, the company that produced one of the guns that was used in Friday's Sandy Hook Elementary school massacre. You have probably never heard of Ron Cohen before. I know I never have. I tried to find a decent picture of him this weekend, but I came up empty. He may as well not exist.

DJ Earworm's United State of Pop 2012 video isn't due out for another few days, but the track itself debuted over the weekend on Toronto's Virgin Radio 999, and was subsequently uploaded online by a kind Canadian soul who believes Christmas is about unwrapping your gifts early.

Women. Always putting make-up on their face skin and designer sunglasses in their purses without paying for them. And no one is better at (allegedly) combining the two than Sarah Jessica Parker's personal makeup artist Leslie Lopez.

Yesterday, former Italian Prime Minister and the world's foremost thrower of "Bunga Bunga" parties Silvio Berlusconi, age 76, "unveiled" (to use the odd and yet somehow entirely appropriate phrasing of MSNBC) his girlfriend, Francesca Pascale, "a 27-year-old political councilor in his People of Freedom Party." He also announced their engagement — or did he? Let's ask Google Translate.

"Friday changed everything," proclaimed MSNBC's Joe Scarborough at the onset of a ten-minute monologue he delivered during this morning's Morning Joe — and that change began at home for the former congressman.

NBC News chief foreign correspondent Richard Engel has gone missing in Syria, according to Turkish news reports. The reports also say that Aziz Akyavaş, a Turkish journalist working with Engel, is unaccounted for. NBC News has been successfully keeping Engel's status subject to a news blackout—one to which Gawker agreed until now—for at least the past 24 hours.

Everyone likes ripping open presents around this time of year. But picking out a friend's glasses that they wear on their face every day is a daunting task. Warby Parker knows this, and is offering gift cards in denominations of $50, $95, $145 and $195 — and all holiday gift cards will arrive at your lucky pal's door alongside a giant, custom, hand-iced cookie from Eleni's New York.

Twitter has started rolling out an archive function that lets you download all your old tweets in an easily searchable format. It looks like this, and should be available to everyone soon. Luckily, it appears this is not a publicly-accessible archive, only something for you to download in order to reminisce privately over the stupid shit you said three years ago, while weeping alone in your bedroom because you're sad that you have nothing better to do.

Morgan Freeman may agree with the comments being attributed to him by thousands on Facebook and Twitter, but he didn't write them.

McDonald's, a machine for turning cow fat into money, is really into America, Christmas, Kwanzaa, holidays, whatever the fuck, assuming those holidays are celebrated at a McDonald's restaurant, or sitting in a parked car in a McDonald's parking lot, forcing down McDonald's food as tears stream down your face. All you have to do is to look at McDonald's advertisements to realize that McDonald's has the utmost respect for family, togetherness, happiness, America, freedom, blah blah buy some french fries. McDonald's would open a location at your mother's funeral if it thought it could sell one additional Filet-O-Fish.

Norwegian scaredy cat Basse Andersen has such a hair-trigger panic button that he's become something of a media sensation in his homeland.

Sandy Hook classes resume Wednesday at a school 15 minutes away. The students likely will never return to Sandy Hook.