Here now, a new study chronicled in the scientific journal The Daily Mail, which lays bare womankind's deepest, darkest, shiniest, most volumizing secret: some women are far more concerned about their hair than about their physique. Ladies. Ladies. You have it backwards.

With elementary students in Newtown trying to resume their studies today, at least one first grader will be going back to school without his best friend by his side.

Imagine the scene:

Watch this video of a truck full of cows crashing and rolling over in front of oncoming traffic. See how the cows tumble over each other and then quickly get back up? Watch it again. See how the cows try to act all cool and nonchalant? "Nothing to see here," say the cows. "Keep walking."

Is the United States falling behind on chillness? Has American lost its chillness edge to chill rivals? Will our children suffer from the chillness gap? Not if President Obama does what's right and acts on this petition, located on WhiteHouse.gov's petition site "We the People":

Every December, thousands of people convince themselves that, because they have been to a holiday party, they are capable of hosting a holiday party.

A student at an elementary school in Kearns, Utah, who brought a handgun in to class reportedly told his classmates the weapon was given to him by his parents for protection in the wake of last week's shooting at Sandy Hook.

Out has named Nate Silver its Person of the Year, and the resulting profile by editor Aaron Hicklin is an endearing portrait of a dude who is doing well at life by being so right all the time. There's great stuff about the making of the man and his dealings with those who try to undo him. He says flattering things about Nick Denton ("He's willing to be kind of destructive and path-breaking, and to challenge the status quo; in some ways, it's kind of more my style"); Denton barely returns the favor ("He's not necessarily the best statistician, but he might be the best stats geek who can also write—and perform on television. His steadiness under pundit fire before the election was something to witness."). Heh.

Which Wes Anderson character are you? Which aren't you, you bespectacled, precocious, blunt, chain-smoking falcon, you.

Jumping on Instagram's much criticized new service terms, Flickr reminds you "at Flickr, your photos are always yours."

Samuel L. Jackson and Anne Hathaway both have bleak dramatic movies coming out this Christmas (Django Unchained and Les Misérables, respectively), and you know what that means: It's time for a good ol' fashioned holiday movie sad-off.

God damn, a lot of important people came out this year. Here's to even more in 2013.

Spiders are terrifying — just ask anybody. And I do mean everybody: Arachnophobia is the most common phobia.

This year's Kardashian family Kristmas Kard takes, as its theme, a lesson in quantum physics.

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The more I read about what Quentin Tarantino has to say about his consistently entertaining new slave Western Django Unchained, the less I like the film. This is supremely annoying:

Everyone is mad about Instagram changing its terms of services to allow it to sell your photos to advertisers without your knowledge. Now Instagram users have started a hashtag movement on Twitter, the internet equivalent of "actually doing something about it."

Gun store owners across the country are reporting record sales in the aftermath of last week's massacre at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.

Launching a new cable network for Millennials: fine. Calling Millennials "the next greatest generation:" unacceptable.

With "Gangnam Style" only days away from becoming the first YouTube video to reach one billion views (and potentially triggering the end of the world), YouTube has released its annual look back at the year that was, and it probably wouldn't surprise you to learn that it pays major homage to the K-pop phenomenon.