Kyle XY star Matt Dallas has come out as human. And gay.

Al Roker sharted himself at the White House, which means it's time for us to come up with puns based on the word "shart." Please contribute your best below; to help get us started, here's a few from Twitter:

A British teen was enjoying a "Gladiator box meal" at his local KFC when he suddenly stumbled onto something he didn't order.

Manchester's Krystal Klear has taken the first single from New Orleans R&B singer/songwriter Teedra Moses' mostly overlooked (but adored by those who know it) 2004 debut Complex Simplicity, and instead of updating it for 2013 sensibilities, he has pushed it even further back in time. The resulting revamp of "Be Your Girl" is akin to the terrific, icy, 808-based ballads Jam & Lewis did in the '80s (such as S.O.S. Band's "Tell Me If You Still Care"). Perfect winter jam.

White House Trivia: Al Roker once brought a dirty bomb to the White House Easter Egg Roll (in the form of poop in pants).

A few months back, emissaries from infamous Internet troll nest /b/ tried to convince Justin Bieber fans that their idol had cancer and that they should cut their hair in solidarity.

If you're like me, you delayed in buying your 2013 wall calendar because you knew they'd all go on sale after January 1st. Some people might decry this as "extreme cheapness," but isn't it cheaper to insist on getting the "full value" out of your calendar by using it on "all applicable days?" That's trashy.

Don't have plans next Saturday? Well now you do, because January 19 is officially the first annual "Gun Appreciation Day". Survivalists and serial killers and whoever else owns guns are encouraged to "go to your local gun store, gun range or gun show" and appreciate your gun the best way you know how.

X Factor judge/former Disney Channel staple/occasionally troubled young woman Demi Lovato recently appeared on Adult Swim's Eric André Show, and confusion ensued. Engulfed by machine-made fog and holding a plate of spaghetti for some of the time, Lovato was asked to confirm several shows she was on and was told she would be tested for her "Satan thetan levels." An '80s rock icon showed up, throwing her further off kilter. This is prankish and juvenile on André's part, and yet Lovato has rarely seemed this human in public, even if she says little more than, "Really?" "Um?" "Yeah." and "What?" for the duration of the "interview."

According to Google Translate, this particular performance of 'cigarette acrobatics' took place during last year's "World No Tobacco Day."

Another day, another reason to fall in love with the most exciting duo in R&B, the UK's Alunageorge. Today they played the BBC 1Xtra Live Lounge, where they unveiled the new track "Body Music" and this gem: an upbeat cover of Frank Ocean's glorious "Thinkin Bout You." I had been thinking that Aluna Francis' voice had been manipulated on the group's recordings, but nope, it turns out that she actually just sounds sped up by 15 percent naturally. Unreal.

Tampon manufacturer Kimberly-Clark has a new series of ads out in which veterans of periods (gals) explain all the wacky vagina myths they once believed. (These myths, they say, are untrue, though we cannot confirm this independently.) You may be shocked to learn that some of your most cherished opinions about your body are, in fact, as mythical as "Amelia Earhart" or "Sojourner Truth."

Michelangelo Signorile humiliated a guy who called him and his boyfriend "disgusting" "faggots" in Chelsea. Hero.

The official U.S. unemployment rate stands at 7.8%. For those with no high school degree, it's closer to 12%; for young people age 20-24, nearly 14%. There are not enough jobs to go around. Each week, we're bringing you true stories of unemployment from the unemployed. This is what's happening out there.

The Surprise (Arizona) Police Department has launched an investigation into the police-involved shooting death of a resident who threatened to commit suicide.

What's your favorite restaurant? McDonald's, right? Not if you are from Australia. If you are from Australia, your favorite restaurant is "Macca's."

John and Robert of the Chick-fil-A Foundation inadvertently let their gay guard down recently, resulting in some light same-sex kissing.

Pandemonium temporarily reigned inside the Exchange Place PATH station in Jersey City this morning after an escalator suddenly decided to violate the first of Asimov's Three Laws or Robotics.

Employees at the State Department welcomed back Secretary of State Hillary Clinton after a month-long absence due to a string of health problems.

Monday morning, the internet was abuzz with word that Brad Pitt, celebrity father, has joined Chinese Twitter, Sina Weibo. Even more exciting was his first message to Chinese fans: "It is the truth. Yup, I'm coming…"